Whats too early for si-fi?

[ASH]

So, my son will be 5 in January. He is a huge fan of Star Wars. But yesterday he was running around screaming "My father cut off my hand! Ahhhrhghhhh!" With the arm of his shirt over his hand.

So now I am thinking.. maybe he was too young. Maybe we should have waited a little longer. We pretty much have always let Nathan watch what ever he wanted with the concept that he understood it was not real, which he does. For instance he has watched Stargate with us, as well as Willow, and other movies like that. Lord of the Rings is a bit scary and much, so no on that. And its not like I am letting him watch Kill Bill.
So, now, thinking about it.. I wonder is it all too early for him. Should I have waited... He seems to beable to handle the violence as one would a cartoon. He knows its not real, and understands that. But there is very much a underlying theme that Star Wars has of Good and Evil and i wonder if maybe an almost 5 yr old is just not going to get it... Of course I am a paranoid mother. And could just be taking his 'roleplaying' of the movie too seriously but I am interested how old should one start watching shows with little violence, but deep meanings...???

 

[jester47]

I don't think his pretending to be Luke Skywalker post Vader will have a negative effect on his relationship with his father if thats your worry. I saw star wars for the first time when it was re-released for The Empire Strikes Back. So I was 4. I knew it wasn't real. I think as long as he does not accuse his real father of cutting off his hand (pretend or otherwise) its probably OK. However if you are concerned, I would ask him what he thought about that scene in a talking about star wars sort of way. Ask him why he thinks Darth Vader cut off Lukes hand. You might be surprised with the answer a 5 year old will give.

I do remember asking my mom about why Darth Vader cut off Lukes hand if Darth was his father. She explained that it was so he wouldn't have to kill Luke. Luke wanted to kill Vader because he did not know that Vader was his father and vader was a bad guy. So vader cut of lukes hand to get luke to stop.

As a 4 year old, all I knew was that luke had lost becuase he didn't listen to his teachers. I thought the father thing was more of showing how much of a good guy Luke was even when his parent was bad. Luke wasn't going to sell out even if his dad did! (Important lesson for a 4 year old.) As for playing and separating real from pretend, Mr. Rogers already had that well under control.

A.

 

[Fast Learner]

I argue that it's never too early for sci-fi.

However, it can be too early for violence, imo.

Either way, we didn't have any sci-fi shows when I was his age, but we reenacted plenty of violent television and movies: it was just cowboys and indians, kung-fu, or army men. His handless thing is no different.

Reenacting violent things is, imo and in the opinion of many psychologists, a way of dealing with them, trying to fit them into your head. You do need to know that there is such a thing as violence, and that you may have urges to perform actual acts of violence. Just as we deal with fear of death by watching horror movies, we deal with both our fear of being violently acted upon as well as our desire to act out violence by seeing it in a fictional context. Yet as parents we have to work to contextualize both the fear and the urge.

There's a definite major parenting challenge to putting violence (and sex, for that matter) in the right context. In fact, as the father of a now-18-year-old, I'll argue that putting those in the right context, a context that includes society's mores as well as your own, is one of the top 3 most challengings thing you have to do. "Socializing" kids is an awesome responsibility, and an awesome honor. Best of luck to you!

 

[Rackhir]

What about him running around pretending to be Luke with his hand cut off worried you? It seems like fairly normal behavor for a small child to imitate scenes from a favorite movie and that was quite possibly the most dramatic scene in the entire trilogy. So I can see how it would make a strong impression on him. Was he making a scene in a public place?

Boys have always been inclined to "play" violent scenes or actions. I'm not sure that's something to worry about unless it starts going beyond just playing.

For all the fuss made over here about violence in media, kids in japan watch far more violent material in anime than we would ever permit over here. Minor characters can be offed quite often and even major characters are killed off, sometimes quite violently. Manga can be as blood splattered as any Jason or Freddie movie. Yet Japan has some of the lowest rates of violent activity of any industrialized democracy. So I believe that it really has to do a lot more with how a kid is raised and his enviroment than it does the entertainment material they are exposed to.

One of the things I've always despised about the culture in the US is the tendency to have to bubble wrap everything that is presented to kids. Obviously they don't need to watch "Natural Born Killers" or "Backdoor Sluts 9", but it seems silly and a disservice to pretend that bad things don't happen to people or that nobody ever dies. It actually bothers me more that kids are shown that violence has no consequences. In the old GI Joe show for example you would have everyone blazing away with weapons, but nobody ever gets hurt or killed. Everyone always bails out before the plane, car, tank etc... is destroyed. I would much rather that they learn that pointing weapons at people has consequences and ones you can't undo.

 

[Liminal Syzygy]

Not to mention the sexual aspects of anime. In the early 90's I saw a kid's anime program that dealt with a scenario in which one of the characters is embarrassed he doesn't have enough pubic hair and applies some kind of tonic to grow more hair in that region. The problem is that the tonic goes crazy if you get it wet. The character goes swimming and his pubic hair grows so much that it fills the building and cracks it's foundations.

I kid you not...

 

[Ranger REG]

Ya gotta love Japanese entertainment. Less puritannical.

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

One of the things I've always despised about the culture in the US is the tendency to have to bubble wrap everything that is presented to kids. Obviously they don't need to watch "Natural Born Killers" or "Backdoor Sluts 9", but it seems silly and a disservice to pretend that bad things don't happen to people or that nobody ever dies. It actually bothers me more that kids are shown that violence has no consequences. In the old GI Joe show for example you would have everyone blazing away with weapons, but nobody ever gets hurt or killed. Everyone always bails out before the plane, car, tank etc... is destroyed. I would much rather that they learn that pointing weapons at people has consequences and ones you can't undo.

I believe to remember something my father said while we (I) were watching the A-Team (I don´t know how I old I was then, probably under 10 years - I remember talking about A-Team and Knight Rider in the school bus, which only fits for an age between 6 to 10 years in my case). I can´t reprise it now (especially not since it would be in German ), but it was something to the effect of: "Whenever they fire with their guns, they never seem to hit anything. That´s not real(istic)" or "The car explodes and everybody gets out". I even definitely remember how I wondered myself why some people were able to get out of an helicopter that just seemed to have violently exploded when crashing to the ground... Maybe that´s what parents should do - not only remember that it is not real (most kids know that what happens on TV isn´t really happening), but also not realisitc - in the real world, violence is harmful and leads to injure and death.

A good way is to try to watch movies and series together with the kids - that´s not always possible, sure, but do it whenver it is possible. (Though if you really have the time, maybe try something else then watching TV...)

The most dangerous thing to do is letting the TV and the school take of the education and development of the kid. It´s not what they are supposed to do (alone).
But I think it is also dangerous to condemn TV - it is a part of our social life - maybe not when we watch, but whenever we talk about it with our friends, we make it that. If parents don´t allow their children to ever watch TV, they will easily become outcast, because they simply can´t relate to the other children (or vice versa).
As always, balance is important. And saying it is easier than doing it

Mustrum Ridcully