When Bob wants to play a female PC

[Destan]

Hi all,

I have a confession to make. Recently, one of my players and good friends asked to make a female back-up character. The player is male. I asked him to switch the back-up character's gender.

I rarely, if ever, deny a player's request to play a certain type of character. So long as it's balanced within the game, I'm cool with it. But...not this time. This time I used DM fiat to change his mind.

In short:

If Bob wants to play a quarter-troll/quarter-elf/half-dwarf with traces of drow lineage...OK.

If Bob wants to play Elfmaiden Lauriel the Fair of Aspenreach...not OK.

I'm not posting this to get flamed, though I expect that could be one of the consequences. And I'm not posting this so others can convince me that cross-gender roleplaying adds so much more to a campaign world. I'm posting this to see if I'm alone when it comes to this uneasiness.

I've DM'd homosexual characters and homosexual players. Got no problems with that. I'm confused in many ways, but my sexual orientation isn't one of them. So I don't think this feeling stems from any weird Freudian voodoo.

I don't know why it bothers me, and I suppose I'm not really interested in finding out. What I am interested in is whether any of you other cats have run into this so-called problem.

As the DM, have you asked or encouraged a player to not play a PC of the opposite gender?

As a player, do you enjoy playing a character of the opposite sex? If so, why? If not, why not?

As DM or player, do you get squirmy when Bob brings his attractive female half-elf to the gaming table?

Was I wrong to encourage my player to switch from a female to a male PC?

I know the best advice for a DM is to let the players play whatever character type they'll enjoy the most. This will benefit the campaign and increase everyone's enjoyment. Yada, yada, yada. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment...but I can't get over the Bob As An Elf Maiden hang-up.

Maybe it's just me...but I'm hoping that's not the case. If it is, it'd mean I'm the weird one. And that would do irreparable harm to my feelings.

Pudgy D

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Two of the guys I game with regularly play female characters. One of them always plays shifty, evil women who end up killing someone in the party (I think he has issues), but I don't have a problem with it all. Heck... my 11 year old son rolled up a female druid the other day. Way back in the say, during 1e rules, I played an "alu-demon" assassin.. half-human/half succubus. She was death on two legs, let me tell ya.

 

[Crothian]

First off you are not the only one. In my expereince males who play females either end up:

1) Playing the character no different from any other so asside from the female gender on the character sheet one would never know
2) Go overboard with female only problems/or what to be a rape survivor or something like that that it just takes the game completely out of whack
3) Play a comic steroetype that is just insulting
4) Do an okay job with it

And it is less then 25% that actually do a good job with it, though most play it like number one and you'd have no idea what the gender is. So, I'll discourage it just like I discourage from women playing males unless they have a really good compelling reason to do so. But frankly, I haven't ran into this problem in many years.

 

[fredramsey]

Well, the problem here is I cannot for the life of me relate to what you are complaining about. I cannot fathom why it would matter to you or "bother" you.

My current campaign is 6 female characters, played by 4 RL females, and 2 males, one of which is gay.

And you know how much I think about that? Not a bit. They play their characters, and the campaign goes on.

What in the world are you so spooked about? Nope, don't get it.

 

[Particle_Man]

Well I guess I am your opposite. As DM I once magically changed a character's gender. I'd say its not a big deal. Just as characters don't discuss going to the bathroom, don't discuss other bodily functions, like periods. And if there are social differences in your world between the genders, that could be an issue. Otherwise, it doesn't affect play after the first five minutes.

And if you play Everquest, I have some bad news for you...

 

[S'mon]

I have issues the other way - I'm fine with male players playing female PCs, I'm male and often play female PCs, I'm fine with female players playing male PCs. But GMs who won't let male players play female PCs (or players who won't play in a group where this occurs) really freaks me out. It freaks me out, I'm not sure why, it seems like they must have some huge psychological problems. Maybe this is unfair, but it makes my skin crawl. I would be very very reluctant to play in such a game. Maybe from a female GM, I could accept (though not like) it, but from a male GM, uggh. The most kind explanation would be that the GM had seen players play female characters so horribly in the past that he was left traumatised, and couldn't face the prospect again. Time ought to heal these wounds, though - if something bad happened when you were 15, should that still determine your GMing when you're 35?

 

[BiggusGeekus]

What in the world are you so spooked about?

Probably that one of his players wants to work out gender issues or rape fantasy during game time.

 

[Greatwyrm]

We've never really had any trouble with it. In my current game 4 of 8 characters are female, but only one player is.

We occasionally have a semi-akward moment with a romantic entanglement, usually with an NPC, but stuff like that usually happens "off camera" for us anyway.

 

[tarchon]

I've never known it to be a problem. Even when the player plays the opposite-gender PC "wrong," it's not such a big deal.
I did know one guy who flat out refused to allow it in his games, but he had a great dread of any hint of "gaiety." I won't speculate on why that was.

 

[shaylon]

I don't think males playing female PC's is that big of a deal. I would run a female character if I felt there was a good reason. That being said, I think I would do a better job of it in a PbP or PbEM as opposed to in a RL game, but only because I already have a difficult time roleplaying in person. It is easier for me to perform my actions in a RL game than it is to talk in character. I'm just not that good at it.

-Shay