When Bob wants to play a female PC

[nyrfherdr]

So, bottom line is this. I would totally refuse to play in your game if you wouldn't allow me to role-play female characters. Which, IMHO, would be a loss for you and your game, because I consider myself a good role-player.

I may indeed feel the loss of your presence at my table. I suspect that I would.

If I was the DM, that would be your choice. I DM a game that I enjoy and I wouldn't enjoy dealing with cross-gender player characters. I know myself enough not to open that door.

If I was a player in a game with you, I might still be uncomfortable, but would respect the DM's choice and play along side you and your female character. It is a different experience being a player and being the DM.

I would hope if we actually gamed together that you would try a different role that wasn't cross-gender, but if you couldn't I would respect your decision not to play in my game.

It is a game after all.
Game ON!
Nyrfherdr

 

[Shadowdancer]

I'm male, and I play both male characters and female characters -- it just depends on what mood I'm in, mostly. Sometimes I'll play a female character because it makes more sense -- any drow character, for example. To me, females in drow society are more powerful, so if you're going to play a drow, play a female drow.

Also, in our current group, in order to have a well-rounded party, I play two characters. In order to help keep them seperate in my mind, and in the other players' minds, one is male and one is female.

 

[Psion]

I don't know why it bothers me, and I suppose I'm not really interested in finding out. What I am interested in is whether any of you other cats have run into this so-called problem.

Not myself, but I was part of a group for a bit where (as I learned after my first attempt to make a female character in that group) female characters being played by male players was viewed in a dim light.

As a perhaps significant point of comparison, the players in that group were a bit more "macho" in projected/self image than the typical gamer stereotype.

Was I wrong to encourage my player to switch from a female to a male PC?

I know the best advice for a DM is to let the players play whatever character type they'll enjoy the most.

You have pretty much hit my philosophy right there. So long as the character fits the setting and the role the PCs are cast to play, I try to give players wide degree of latitude in controlling their own character concepts. And while I can think of a few situations where gender might be a dividing line for such a determination, they seem few and far between in fantasy RPGs.

What you might consider is whether different people are looking for something different from their gaming experience than you. Some players identify with their characters, while others don't really desire to be their character so much as to play a character they find interesting. So if you have trouble accepting that someone might identify with someone of the opposite gender, perhaps they are not.

Or, it could be that you have real trouble picturing that chubby, greasy haired, bearded guy across from you as a female rogue that looks like Catherine Zeta Jones.

Some character concepts might not hinge strongly on gender, but I beleive that there are many character concepts that come off more strongly when portrayed with certain genders.

 

[Teflon Billy]

In short:

If Bob wants to play a quarter-troll/quarter-elf/half-dwarf with traces of drow lineage...OK.

If Bob wants to play Elfmaiden Lauriel the Fair of Aspenreach...not OK.

I'm not posting this to get flamed, though I expect that could be one of the consequences. And I'm not posting this so others can convince me that cross-gender roleplaying adds so much more to a campaign world. I'm posting this to see if I'm alone when it comes to this uneasiness.

You aren't alone.

I don't allow male-to-female cross gender characters. It's neer added antyhing of note to the game when I did allow it, and on many occasions it was detrimental.

If you can't play the charater you want without exploring tranvestitism, then my game is not for you.

 

[Alzrius]

One of my players is a guy who is playing a human female ranger.

As a person, the player is a guy's guy; that is, he enjoys kicking back the beers, hits on girls easily, etc etc. I don't know why he wanted a play a woman, and I don't particularly care. As it stands, it's not an issue in our group, because we hack-and-slash more than we role-play. There's been nothing from him about his character being a lesbian, nor a slut. In fact, other than the picture he drew of his character, and taking a gem-laden comb they found for her hair, it's been very gender-neutral.

In short, I didn't have a problem with it, and it didn't impact the campaign, so it worked for me.

 

[Banshee16]

First off you are not the only one. In my expereince males who play females either end up:

1) Playing the character no different from any other so asside from the female gender on the character sheet one would never know
2) Go overboard with female only problems/or what to be a rape survivor or something like that that it just takes the game completely out of whack
3) Play a comic steroetype that is just insulting
4) Do an okay job with it

And it is less then 25% that actually do a good job with it, though most play it like number one and you'd have no idea what the gender is. So, I'll discourage it just like I discourage from women playing males unless they have a really good compelling reason to do so. But frankly, I haven't ran into this problem in many years.

Ok, look at it from the other angle.

How many of your players play a male character well?

Most gamers are not actors. Personally, though I find that some players try more than others, most roleplaying reads like bad melodrama at best, a lot of the time. And that's whether they're playing male or female characters, or something in between.

But then, it's not acting class. We're all there to have fun.

Banshee

 

[Banshee16]

Without getting into flames, is there a particular reason why a player can't try out a character that they want?

The only DM I've known who had a problem with it turned out to have several things not entirely "right" with him, other than an inability to accept some of his players running other gendered characters.

As a DM myself, I don't personally have a problem. I've had players playing half-angels, half-fiends, elves, dwarves, genasi, centaurs, humans, and just about every other race under the sun. Who am I to question what they want to play, especially when it's something so harmless? To make that kind of regulation smacks more of placing judgement on somebody, which IMO is not ok.

There are way too many people in the real-world trying to tell people how to live their lives without adding to the problem in a fantasy roleplaying game.

Banshee

 

[TheYeti1775]

Thinks this went on long enough...

It's not a real issue really.
It honestly didn't fit the campaign when I looked at it prespectively and from his standpoint.
Really didn't match the party well for a woman anyways.

Magnus (mine) - 16yr old Rhelmsman (Human) Wizard
Motega - early 20's Rorn (Human) Ranger
Tobias (currently set aside for Drakt) - 17yr old Rhelmsman (Human) Paladin
Drakt (replaced Tobias) - early 20's Gordian (Human) Fighter
Fitz (probably the most accepting of the bunch) - mid 20's (old man of the group)
Rhelmsman (Human) Cleric of Ceria
Kathruuk - 20's Half-Orc Monk

Most of are party are pretty crude when it comes to actual interaction with those outside our 'station'. One must remember in Valus, the old Racial Preference Chart is there as a option, Paladins are shunned, Rorn are considered Barbaric peoples, Rhelmsmen are just rebel Carricks, and the only thing that comes out of Gordia is hired muscle. So through a Female Apian (Imperialist) (Human) Warmage into this mix and it could definitely get ugly if everyone played their correctly.
So when I stepped back and looked at that and the grittiness of the campaign I realized it was for the best to play a male, as this is a demographic that is respected within Valus. "Women's Work" is a common saying, it is not a PC world and I do like it that way.

So no more hate mail to Destan ok.

 

[hobbit_killer]

another one of Destan's players

I wasn't going to respond to this post, but since it has gone on this long, I fell I have to make this point in Destan's defense.

If you have kept up with the story hour written by Funeris (and if you haven't you should)
/end shameless plug You would realize that at the begiining of the campaign there were 8 players. Two of those players were male playing female characters. Yes that's right we had two male players playing female characters. Destan asked all of us, he did not do this on his own, about the size of the gaming group. The majority of us said we would like the group smaller.

Randomly, Destan eliminated 3 of the players. One of those players was playing a female character. That left us with 5 players, one of which was playing a female character.

A little while after that the guy playing the female character asked Destan to change his DM style (it had nothing to do with gender issues) . Destan went so far as to try to adapt his DM style to meet this players needs. Unfortunately this was impossibela nd that player decided on his own to leave the group.

Since then the rest have us have had a blast. More so than before and I think every player will attest to that. We all like this game and we don't want anything screwing it up. So yes, in essence we have had a bad experience with this issue and as far as this campaign goes, we would not liek to go down this road again. Maybe in future campaigns, but I doubt it. That's just the way we are. Feel free to flame us all. It's easy to do on the internet.

I think you all agree that the point of rpgs is to have fun. Destan is being modest in that he wouldn't let in a half toll dwarf with fey blooline in any more than he would let theYeti play a female warmage because he knows it will cut in on the fun for the rest of us. He feels bad because he thinks by disallowing it he might be cutting in on some of theYeti's fun as an individual. He's not and he realizes that now. This all could be avoided if we just switch game nights and not tell theYeti

What I find funny is that some of us are quick to say how wrong it is to not allow cross gender playing, but then go and post how munchkin the hulking hurler or a PC with 15 prestige classes is and no DM in their right mind should let it in their game. Which is it? I am sorry but I don't see a difference. It's your game and if you are having fun, you are doing something right no matter what someone on the internet tries to tell you. I mean come on, I play a cannibal in this game and I maintaing a neutral good alignment. I am sure someone thinks that is heresy (and I am sure they will tell me too).

Sorry to have taken up so much of your time.

Your friendly neighborhood cannibal.

 

[Hypersmurf]

The big issue is that no one I have EVER played with male or female can do a decent, non-disruptive job of roleplaying the other gender.
I don't care if you're male, female, gay, straight or bi. IMO males cannot maintain a female persona consistently, and the same hold true for females playing men.
Sooner or later it always devolves into stereotypes and stupid behavior.

I don't agree with that.

I've certainly experienced the stereotypes and stupid behaviour; the game with the two guys playing 'hot lesbian drow' simply refuses to go away, despite attempted self-hypnosis.

But I've seen guys play girls and girls play guys well.

In one PBeM, I was playing a teenaged girl as a 1st level PC; we were playing for two months before I made an OOC comment referring to myself as male, and one of the other players expressed startlement - his experiences of cross-gender characters had tended towards people playing the silly stereotypes as well, so when my character had actually behaved like a teenaged girl, he'd just assumed a female player.

It can - and often does - get ugly. But it's by no means a foregone conclusion.

-Hyp.