Where did all the drow go?

[TarionzCousin]

This is for [MENTION=19675]Dannyalcatraz[/MENTION]. I'm surprised he didn't do it first.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE DROW RANGERS GONE
words and music by Pete Seeger

Where have all the drow rangers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the drow rangers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the drow rangers gone?
DM’s killed them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have chainmail bikinis gone?
Long time passing
Where have chainmail bikinis gone?
Long time ago
Where have chainmail bikinis gone?
No you can’t have one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all barbarians gone?
Long time passing
Where have all barbarians gone?
Long time ago
Where have all barbarians gone?
Gone berserker every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the 3E-ers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the 3E-ers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the 3E-ers gone?
Playing Pathfinder every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

Where have all the grognards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the grognards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the grognards gone?
Gone to retro clones every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

*pssst*

See TheAuldGrump's first post in this thread- #4 overall- to see why I abstained.

(I'd give you XP for the Chainmail Bikinis if I could, though.)

 

[fanboy2000]

I saw a drow just last Thursday in one of the study rooms.

 

[Relique du Madde]

The drow all gotten ear extenders and are calling themselves night elves so they can stay relevant

 

[TheAuldGrump]

Where Have All The Drow Boys Gone?

Oh keep your action ready with your crossbow armed and steady
Why don't we hide down here in the shade?
Take shelter in the door arch,
The hated bright sun scorching
Like a poisoned glass of lemonade
I'll take all the plunder and leave you with the bills

Where is my Drizzt Do'Urden?
Where is my svart alfar?
Where is my nightmare sending?
Where have all the drow boys gone?

Why don't we strike this evening?
Sit back and hear the screaming
And I'll kill a little someone to eat
Oh I know that you love hurting inflicting pain's another factor,
How do you take your poison my sweet?
I'll kill all the children when they run off to the hills

CHORUS:

I'll wear my black dress tonight
So you won't, so you don't even notice me

Say your goodbyes
Say your goodbyes
Say your goodbyes

We finally killed the pally
Then we ate another baby
And you took that job to kill a PC
You made them buy the farm
When you met them at the bar
You finished off the party in a week
I'll prepare the dishes then I'll go and poison your beer

Where is my gullible man?
Where shines his darkened sun?
Where is my dark elf ranger?
Where have all the drow boys gone?
Where have all the drow boys gone?
Where have all the drow boys gone?
Yippee Ai, yippee yay!
Yippee Ai, yippee yay!
Yippee Ai, yippee yay!
Yippee Ai, yippee yay!
Yippee Ai, yippee yay!
Yippee Ai, yippee yay!

Now I need to go hide, Paula Cole scares me.

The Auld Grump

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

PAPA WAS DO'URDEN'S CLONE

It was the third of September; that day I'll always remember,
'Cause that was the day that my daddy died.
I never got a chance to see him;
Never heard nothin' but bad things about him.
Mama I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.

Mama just hung her head and said Son,

Papa was Do'Urden's clone.
Wherever he spun his web was his home.
And when he died,
All he left us was alone.

Hey Mama,
Is it true, what they say that Papa never worked a day in his life?
And Mama?
Some bad talk goin' round town,
That Papa had twin twirling longswords and another life.
And that ain't right!

Heard some talk about Papa doin' some surface runnin'.
Talkin' about slayin' fiends, and all the time huntin'.
Dealin' in hurt!
And stealing in the name of "The Sword."

Mama just hung her head and said Son,

Papa was Do'Urden's clone.
Wherever he spun his web was his home.
And when he died,
All he left us was alone.

Hey, Mama, I heard Papa call himself a jack of all trades.
Tell me, is that what sent Papa to an early grave?
Folks say Papa would pick stupid fights to display his skills.
Hey, Mama, folks say Papa was never much on thinkin';
Spend most of his time chasin' women and drinkin'!
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.

Mama just hung her head and said Son,

Papa was Do'Urden's clone.
Wherever he spun his web was his home.
And when he died,
All he left us was alone.

 

[TheAuldGrump]

Take cover boys, these are the worst kind of filkers gone wrong - a pair of punslingers.

The Auld Grump

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

WHERE THE DROW BOYS GO

Certain things you do
Really make me mad I must confess
The way the street light silhouettes
Your blades inside their sheaths
Wild child in the streets
I think I see you
but I really don't know
Just at the midnight hour
Headed out to where the Drow boys go

Whoah can we retreat
To where we've been
Ooh I wish you'd take a look
And see the shape I'm in
Where the Drow boys go (go)
Where the Drow boys go (go)
Where the Drow boys go
I wanna go where the Drow boys go

You comb your hair
Put on your cloak
You look real cool
Gimme the runaround
Make me feel like your fool
You got a lot of nerve
To call me "thief"
Even though it's true
I don't care where we go tonight
Take me along with you

Whoah can we retreat
To where we've been
Ooh I wish you'd take a look
And see the shape I'm in
Where the Drow boys go (go)
Where the Drow boys go (go)
Where the Drow boys go
I wanna go where the Drow boys go

 

[the Jester]

I'm happy to say that, despite having run campaigns continuously the whole time, I haven't run an adventure with more Drow in it than a cameo since the early '90s. (And probably less than six sessions with cameos.)

They're out there in my campaign, but hidden underground. When pcs encounter them in my campaign it's like in G3: they don't know what the hell they've gotten themselves into, only that, all of a sudden, things have gotten vicious and half the party's poisoned already.

 

[TheAuldGrump]

As I walked out on the streets of Talintwar
As I walked out in Talintwar one day,
I spied a young drow boy all wrapped in black leather
Wrapped in black leather as cold as the clay.

I see by your outfit that you are a drow boy;
You see by my outfit I am a drow boy, too;
We see by our outfits that we are both drow boys.
If you get an outfit, you can be a drow boy, too.

Filking the filk of the filking Smothers Brothers... how low can I filking get?

The Auld Grump