Who doesn't HATE Van Helsing?

[Pale Violet Light]

Thousands of consistency errors aside, I didn't hate it. It was clear from about 15 minutes in that the brain needed to be shut down very quickly if any enjoyment was to be had. After that, it was kind of fun in a campy way, and I much prefer Wenham in this role than as Faramir. Analysing all the holes in the plot after the movie was kind of fun, too.

What did get me was the really bad computer animations in the Dracula vs. Wolfman fight, which was a big letdown. If you're going to spend millions of bucks on an action flick then you might as well do it right. Two guys in rubber suits would have been more convincing. It reminded me of the "Hell" scenes in Spawn, which ruined an otherwise almost tolerable movie by their sheer badness.

But back onto Van Helsing, more nipples would certainly have been good.

 

[humble minion]

I don't hate Van Helsing. It simply isn't worth investing that much emotion in. Instead, I look down upon Van Helsing, I gaze upon Van Helsing with mild contempt, I sneer disdainfully at Van Helsing and then turn crushingly away.

Just because a common-as-dirt dumb action film has vampires and werewolves in it doesn't make it any good, my geekdom notwithstanding. I much prefer a movie in which plot has a purpose of its own, rather than just being there as flimsy justification for the next FX shot/future video game sequence.

Yes, Kate Beckinsale and the Brides looked great, but can anyone name a female Hollywood action hero who doesn't? The one unambiguously well-done thing about the movie was the werewolf effects, which moved beautifully and were not bald, which is something of a relief after other recent films... *cough*Underworld*cough*

 

[Zappo]

I don't hate Van Helsing. I was in England at the time, and the initial scenes made me feel good, 'cause the cardinal's Italian accent is worse than mine.