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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Wolv0rine" data-source="post: 653918" data-attributes="member: 9045">RE: jgbrowning(Because our sub-conversation has become just too darned unwieldly and long to keep quoting unless specifically needed)Okay, I think I see the line of seperation here between our two standpoints now.  (Disclaimer: The following is not meant maliciously)  You're holding some kind of unusual "You are you and all that is not the physical/mental/spiritual you-being only exists to the extent you take it within" or some-such.  I ego-centric point of view, to some degree, I think.  Along the philosophical lines (I term it philosophical because the level of control over one's metabolism required is uncommon in the extreme, but the realization it is considerably less so) that all pain, mental, emotional, and physical, you only experience if on some level you accept it's existance (or don't deny it).  Like those who can 'turn off' the pain receptors of their body at will through great force of concentration, et al.And, while I find it (not your thing specifically, because I don't really have knowledge of it) all very interesting and fascinating, this is not a philospohy/POV shared by many people, nor is it an active ability of many who do embrace the concept.  I point this out as relevant because without that philosophy, and/or the ability to actively put it into action (as in your example of setting yourself on fire), it becomes effectively moot in the case of the person lacking it.  To try to put it more coherently; You sleep with my wife, and I find out.  Sure, it is within the power of the mind that I do not experience great anquish and pain over this, but it is outside of my personal ability to do so.  So, because it's outside of my ability to do so (as opposed to my, and everyone's potential to do so), it's just not a factor that can be applied to me.  It's out of my reach to conform to those standards.As far as being hurt over something you did not know about goes, I can try to cover that as well, because it does indeed have a link to honesty, I think.  Now keep in mind, I'm sort of over-thinking this to try to put it into words. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />  Let's go back to the "slept with your wife" thing, because it's more easilly understood by both of us.  Now, because she is my wife, there's a sort of implied promise that other men are not going to sleep with her that most people understand on some sort of over-cultural knowledge.  Insofar as that is the case, I have invested my trust in: my wife to not have sex with other men, most other men not to have sex with my wife, and everyone involved (the spouses, and all outsiders) to honor the promise made to the people involved to not attempt to breach their contract of marriage (a 'promise' of sorts by the knowledge and agreement of most people asto what marriage is/means).  When this trust is broken, there are multiple levels of dishonesty and deciet and betrayal that I suddenly have to face, because it exists in the form of this action.  Before I knew, I didn't see it, so was not hurt, but this does not mean that these things didn't exist, because the event happened.  Okay, this is getting just too deep, I'll stop now and hope I got where I meant to be going.  I guess, aside from the attempt to illustrate a point or more, it comes down to "I agree that it's good that you can apply this philosophy to your life, but more people don't share it, and investing a portion of your emotional self in others and things is entirely commonplace enough that it should not be written off as meaningless.  Just as hurt is entirely made real by those who experience it, value is also made real by those who experience it.  And my opinion is this should be respected if it causes no hurt to you.   <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />(It's always so much fun when an arguement can pass beyond the nasty stage to the interesting discussions lying behind it, don't you agree?)</blockquote>

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