Why do elves suck?

[Dimwhit]

How is that a fact, exactly? Because--as you imply--anyone who doesn't like playing them must be a "pure powergamer?"

Of course it's fact Elves don't suck.

They blow.

 

[Agent Oracle]

1.) "I'm an elf! i'm perfect!" (given, voted for)
Player 1) " I have flawless beautiful skin, and radient long golden hair that streams down my shoulders. I have a little crown of daisies in my hair."
Player 2) "My paladin bows, and says 'Hail and well met, Madam elf'."
Player 1) *narrows eyes* "Sir."

2.) I'm an elf, I'm Mighty!
Too many people seem to think elf = nigh-immortal ultra-powerful. players of certain, other games tend to think that their 300 year old elf should be more powerful at 1st level than the 18 year-old 1st level human. I dislike this intensly.

3.) Tree hugging hippy crap. (voted for)
Thank gods WotC has made elves environmentally neutral. I occasionally throw an elven lumberjack into the mix to confuse tree-hugging hippy elf players.

 

[diaglo]

Let's start with why they don't suck...

They....um...err...make good....Spocks?

so your elves write books about how to raise children.

interesting.

 

[diaglo]

3.) Tree hugging hippy crap. (voted for)
Thank gods WotC has made elves environmentally neutral. I occasionally throw an elven lumberjack into the mix to confuse tree-hugging hippy elf players.

the Original D&D elf was Neutral.

 

[Dimwhit]

the Original D&D elf was Neutral.

Yes, but OD&D sucks only slightly less than elves...

Edit: Will someone quote this? I think diaglo still has me on ignore.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Yes, but OD&D sucks only slightly less than elves...

Edit: Will someone quote this? I think diaglo still has me on ignore.

Covered.

 

[GreatLemur]

Could you elaborate on these issues with the blood elves? I don't play WOW so I am unfamiliar with the particulars of theirs.

Well, to start with the remedial stuff, World of Warcraft's playable races are divided into two factions: The Horde and the Alliance. The Horde originally included orcs, trolls, tauren (basically Native American minotaurs), and a "race" of intelligent undead called the Forsaken. The Alliance originally included humans, night elves (tall, purple-skinned "wild elf" types), dwarves, and gnomes. Since Alliance races tend to be prettier, there tend to be a lot more Alliance characters on any given server. Also, for whatever reason, the Alliance seems to attract younger players, on average.

The recent release of the first WoW expansion, The Burning Crusade, added a new race to each faction. The Horde got the blood elves, who are essentially a race of magic-addicted "high elf" types, and are considerably prettier-looking than the other Horde races. The Alliance got the draenei, who have way more convoluted backstory than I'm gonna subject you to, but look much more interesting than the other Alliance races. This has caused some annoyance for Horde players who don't wanna see elves running around their cities, and who would love to play as draenei, but don't want to cross the faction line.

Also, as Flexor mentioned, the new races have access to character classes which were previously the exclusive property of the opposite faction, and that bugs some people a whole lot.

It's been theorized that giving the Horde a "pretty" race was a move calculated to balance faction populations a little bit, and thus help the Horde out in player-vs.-player competition. Personally, I think the decision was at least partly in response to WoW's huge popularity in Asia: The blood elves are kind of anime-looking, in a way. Certainly, they're a lot closer to the character design you see in the other MMORPG that dominates Korea, Lineage 2.

Incidentally, humans, night elves, and blood elves are currently the most popular races in WoW, while orcs and trolls are utterly neglected. Damn, but people depress the hell out of me.

 

[Desdichado]

Covered.

No good! He's probably ignoring you too!

 

[Desdichado]

In another version of this same conversation, the question came up: how do you fix elves?

I mean, I think the answer varies depending on what you think the most glaring problem with them is, but let's have some ideas for how to make the elves something other than annoying pretty people with a few warmed over bland Tolkien themes grafted on from time to time.

 

[Kastil]

Wow. I'm really amazed at how many people have come into a thread that stated "Elves Suck!" just to say "No they don't! You're mean!". Seriously... If you want to proclaim your love of elves, start your own thread instead of getting your panties in a bunch over what non-elf lovers have said in this one.