Why do we have such different experiences?

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

I would add another factor: point buy vs rolled stats

Yes, this probably also has a big effect.

As you said, most people will use point buy to get their "laser focus" on offense. Rolled stats can give you weaknesses and strength you will never have in point buy.

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Our group used 25 point buy for a long time, only in the later adventure paths we moved up to 32 point buy since these just seemed to tough with mere 25 points. The typical ability score array was something like 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8 or even 15, 14, 14, 12, 8, 8. (Yes, two dump stats!) in my experience.
It's obvious how to distribute these stats 15 goes to your key ability score, 14 typically goes to con or int, 13 to any feat prerequisite score you think you'll want or con (since con increases retroactively, you get the hp at level 8). The 12 in 10 in any not very save-affecting stats you neglected so far, and 8 in Strength (for anyone not fighting with weapons) or charisma.
Sure, you can vary a lot, but this was my typical decision process.

Rolling can not only give you terribly bad stats like 13, 14, 12, 10, 6, 4 or terribly good stats like 18, 17, 15, 12, 7, it can also give you something like 14, 14, 14, 13, 13, 11 - and suddenly your character can look very different. Even a Fighter now might suddenly have a Charisma of 13.

And if it's the Bard that has the good array and the Cleric that has the bard, things change a lot.

(The large spectrum of "power" caused by rolled ability scores is what I hate, but I see that it can also balance out problems in the game.)
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[dmccoy1693]

As far as rolled stats go, I've only had 1 DM that used point buy/array stats that was fun. Everyone that rolled stats put in some kind of insurance to make sure that the players do not roll to low. But all the DMs that used point buy/array that were sucky games were more concerned about keeping the gamebreaking munchkin in the group under control then they were in fun of the game. Only one DM was actually interested in the fun of the game but used array simply to make chargen easier.

 

[Remathilis]

Rolling can not only give you terribly bad stats like 13, 14, 12, 10, 6, 4 or terribly good stats like 18, 17, 15, 12, 7, it can also give you something like 14, 14, 14, 13, 13, 11 - and suddenly your character can look very different. Even a Fighter now might suddenly have a Charisma of 13.

Nitpick: Assuming we're playing 3.x, the first set of stats is considered "hopeless" and the player can re-roll. Your overall net bonus (+3) is lower than your net negative (-5).

More usual (at least in my game until I went point-buy) was stats like this: PC #1 had 16, 12, 11, 11, 10, 8. One good score, one ok, a dump, and and a middle of average. The PC next to him had 17, 16, 14, 14, 13, 12. Not a penalty (or a non-bonus) in sight. The former typically felt inferior to the latter, even if they were the same class/race, because the latter would naturally have more hp, more skill points, and better saves than he with the mostly average.

 

[Noumenon]

More usual (at least in my game until I went point-buy) was stats like this: PC #1 had 16, 12, 11, 11, 10, 8. One good score, one ok, a dump, and and a middle of average. The PC next to him had 17, 16, 14, 14, 13, 12.

Checking the third table on this page, the first character's total bonus of +4 is in the bottom 33% of characters, while the second character's bonus of +12 is in the top 4% of characters. So even with four characters rolling you'll only see a set of stats that high one out of five games.

Somehow, though, I've seen three sets that high in the 9 characters I've DMed for -- and the guy who got the +4 modifier was a new character, playing a monk. He's been basically screwed since we started and everyone knows it. The first DM merged him with a bearded devil in a failed teleport to give him a beard attack and damage reduction, but he still needs a monk's belt to fix the damage output.