Why is it so hard to get people together to play?

[Squnk]

In my little group it is very difficult to get people together to play, on a good week we maybe get one gaming session in if we are lucky, but most of the time it turns into once every two weeks. I really enjoy playing and want to play more often and I know everyone else in my group seem to have atleast a similar opinion but for whatever reason it never seems to work out. Don't get me wrong I understand everyone has a life outside d&d, we all have jobs, families, and other hobbies/interests, I just don't understand in a group of people who enjoy playing why is it so hard to just have a day or two a week set aside to play. I'm sorry if I am complaining too much but this is just starting to irritate me cause in our group of five people we have four different campaigns going on(we have different campaigns for different combinations of people cause we don't want anyone getting to far behind in our main campaign) which wouldn't be too much of a problem but we never play enough to gain progress in any of em and we are constantly having certain people bail out last minute. Once again sorry about this long rant, over the last month is has gotten pretty aggravating. So does anyone have any suggestions, have similar problems, or just want to complain, please do. And also just out of wonder how often do you guys play and how long do your sessions usually last? But on a good note I do like the group I'm in, we mesh well and all are good friends.

 

[Wik]

First, lemme say "Welcome to EN World!"

Second, lemme say "Paragraph breaks are your friend."

In all seriousness though, I'd say count your blessings. There are a lot of people on this site that would kill to be in your position - a game with your friends every other week is an ideal situation for many of the people here, some of whom only game once a MONTH.

That being said, I think the way to get a solid game going is to set it for the same time, every week. And make it every WEEK. Players can quickly be trained to work around this designated game time - it's very easy for them to schedule "monday evenings off", for example.

Second, shorten your sessions. If you're trying to have one eight hour session every week, it might be difficult to schedule. But one four hour session a week (or maybe even two!) is probably doable.

Third, avoid weekends (with the exception of sunday). While some people may be able to schedule every friday off for the next year, a lot of people are not willing to do so. I can tell you right now, if you had a friday or a saturday night game, I'd probably only be there every other week, if that.

Fourth, make sure you work with everyone to set up a good time to game. And factor in all the prerequisites. If the game starts at six, after everyone's off work, make sure there's a way for everyone to get dinner. If Joe has to be home by ten for whatever reason, make sure your game ends at 9:30, no exceptions.

Fifth, don't get irritated. It can be annoying to have people bail on you, but getting irritated is not the way to go. If Joe doesn't show up and you complain to everyone there about Joe, than next week when Sam can't make it, he's going to remember just how damned irritate you got... and he might be afraid to show up the week after that. Us gamers can be a very sensitive lot at times.

Finally, have a backup plan. If you have five players and you get two no-shows, well, it happens. In my opinion, in these cases it's best to still do SOMETHING. Even if that something is just play a game of munchkin or turn on the hockey game.

Hope that helps.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

Squnk mate, I feel your pain. My group is very much the same. We all love our gaming, we all love hanging out together. And we aim for a game a week. But what can I say? Real life is a pain in the proverbial. And all of us are to blame. The last time we got the whole 6 of us together was over 3 months ago. Although, to to be fair, 2 of them had to go to Canada for 3 months.

We have the mulitple campaigns depending on who can show up too. ANd yeah, they move glacially slow. It's been 3 months since our DnD group planned their trip to the undead infested city. They have been poised on tippy toes, ready to spring into action, for 3 months! And our Champions heroes have been about to get their first lead to the big bad conspiracy that threatens the very basis of American democracy for even longer! Arrrgh!!!!!!!!!

Thanks you, internet, for giving me somewhere to bitch.

 

[delericho]

I just don't understand in a group of people who enjoy playing why is it so hard to just have a day or two a week set aside to play.

You answered your own question. It's because...

everyone has a life outside d&d, we all have jobs, families, and other hobbies/interests

The problem is that four five people to get together for a game, you have to find an intersection of five different schedules. If you knock out all the times player A is busy (work, family, other hobbies), then the same for players B, C, D and E, it's not going to be long before there's no time left at all.

Essentially, someone (probably everyone) is going to have to be flexible... or accept that they'll have to drop out of the game.

in our group of five people we have four different campaigns going on(we have different campaigns for different combinations of people cause we don't want anyone getting to far behind in our main campaign)

So does anyone have any suggestions, have similar problems, or just want to complain, please do.

Firstly, drop four of the five campaigns, leaving only the main campaign going. With too many games going, it's difficult for people to maintain any sort of a focus, you never make any progress, and so it's no wonder people are getting frustrated and losing interest.

Secondly, set up a fixed and regular game night, and then never cancel it (or as close to never as you can reasonably manage - in the worst case, keep the game night on, but spend the time playing a board game, watching a film, or something else instead). By having a regular time, people can make their plans in advance, and so will find it easier to arrange to attend.

Third, don't penalise people for missing the occasional session. Accept that people will be there if they can, and so if they aren't there then it is for a good reason. Have the character drop into the background, but otherwise carry on as normal.

If someone is routinely not there, or consistently drops out at the last minute, then consider dropping that person from the group. Assuming they agreed to the regular game night, then a consistent failure to attend means they're just not interested, but didn't want to tell you so as to not hurt your feelings. Consistently cancelling at the last minute is just rude - yes, we all have emergencies to deal with from time to time, but we don't have emergencies on a weekly basis.

(Is there a reason why the late-canceller does so? Does he have kids that he might have to look after at short notice? Does his significant other secretly not approve of him gaming? Or is he just useless at making plans and sticking to them?)

And also just out of wonder how often do you guys play and how long do your sessions usually last?

I have two groups.

The larger of the two meet on weeknights on a bi-weekly basis (although we have a couple of campaigns going, so people can play every week if they prefer). Sessions typically last between 2.5 and 4 hours.

The smaller group attempts to meet on a Saturday on a weekly basis, for six hours at a stretch. However, the numbers in that group have fallen to the point where if any of us cancel then the game is off... and one of us has to cancel most week. Since our glorious restart at the start of September we have managed to actually get together a grand total of... once.

 

[TheClone]

It might also help to have a main campaign that's played when all players are there, or maybe two for the most reasonable player appearance and then one add-on campaign for all the rest. That campaign has less depth and stuff so it doesn't matter when one or the other player is missing. It's the "fill up" campaign.


But to be honest I too don't get why it's often such a problem to get people together, even at fixed times. My schedule is full enough with job, sports, friends and stuff, but it's not much of a problem to be there at specific times. It's just a matter of organization.

 

[amerigoV]

Also consider using a VTT. If you have a player that has a long commute to the game, that can save them some time that allows them to play. It may also help if "home politics" comes into play. Just being in the house may ward off Spouse Aggro. It can also help with kids -- that 8 to 8:30ish bedtime routine is a pretty natural breaktime for worknight games. Just make people get moving on the game and save the social time for the later break.

 

[Crothian]

People have to be commited to the game and make it a priority, not just say it. It doesn't have to be and should not be the number one priority but their family and other friends should be aware they want to and will make time for the game. You can usually look at the excuses for people missing to realize if they have done this or can do this.

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

My gaming group recently went through four or five weeks of no game.

The group is large, but we can usually only count on three or so people guaranteed to show up. Otherwise we draw upon the pool of "randoms".

We play on weekends. Most of us are committed enough not to do other things on weekends. But of course, some of us have school...

 

[IronWolf]

Firstly, drop four of the five campaigns, leaving only the main campaign going. With too many games going, it's difficult for people to maintain any sort of a focus, you never make any progress, and so it's no wonder people are getting frustrated and losing interest.

This is what I was going to drop in to say. Everything gets too watered down if you can only play infrequently and for those times have a choice of five campaigns to play in. Decide which campaign to stick with, get everyone on board and excited and then decide to play even if someone misses.

Secondly, set up a fixed and regular game night, and then never cancel it (or as close to never as you can reasonably manage - in the worst case, keep the game night on, but spend the time playing a board game, watching a film, or something else instead). By having a regular time, people can make their plans in advance, and so will find it easier to arrange to attend.

Also agreed. There is another thread around here that talks about scheduling and the common consensus was to go with a set night. It makes it easier for people to schedule if the game night is the same across the board. Keep in mind that even with a set night, conflicts will still come up, but even with only one person missing it is still easy to go ahead and play anyways.

We have four players and one GM in our group. No questions are asked if one person is missing, we're playing - it is easy to continue. We've even played with two people missing, though often it is small side quest within the framework of the main campaign. But it keeps the game moving forward and keeps it from losing momentum.

Third, don't penalise people for missing the occasional session. Accept that people will be there if they can, and so if they aren't there then it is for a good reason. Have the character drop into the background, but otherwise carry on as normal.

Another good point. Misses happen. Just roll with it, don't penalize people and move on.

Also consider using a VTT. If you have a player that has a long commute to the game, that can save them some time that allows them to play. It may also help if "home politics" comes into play. Just being in the house may ward off Spouse Aggro. It can also help with kids -- that 8 to 8:30ish bedtime routine is a pretty natural breaktime for worknight games. Just make people get moving on the game and save the social time for the later break.

Yes! This can work great. We've done a little of this as well. Frequently we'll just fire up Google Video Chat if someone is out of town for business or home watching the kids and can't make it. It can work pretty well. I'd rather have everyone all together, but this makes a great way to keep playing for cases where the choice is cancel the game or play over video chat or VTT.

We've also done a pure VTT session before when scheduling just was not working out.

With all the improvements in VTTs and the ease of video chats these days, they are certainly great weapons in the arsenal of avoiding canceled games.

 

[Gilladian]

Pick a time, a place, a game. Set a length for the session. Tell people this is what they get to do. If they can't be here, they don't get to game.

Too many options gives too many opportunities to say "I'll catch the next game... the next... the next... never".

One game once a week is a doable commitment.

My group gets together on Sundays at 3:00 and plays until 6:00. Not long, but manageable. We've been doing it for 12 years, give or take...