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<blockquote data-quote="Sialia" data-source="post: 1338664" data-attributes="member: 1025"><p><span style="color: lemonchiffon">Thanks Berandor!</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: lemonchiffon">Some replies to specific points:</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">[spoiler][/spoiler]</span>[spoiler]</p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">The bathhouse wasn't ripped from Shogun. It was ripped from my victory dance from celebrating my graduation in December. I left out the massage because some things are too fine to share.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">The cultural mix is a direct depiction of the racial and ethnic mix of the neighborhood I live in. Yes, the kids on the playground here do speak a jumble of Japanese, Chinese, Dutch, Spanish, Hindi and even occasionally English. The market was based on a combination of a real Italian market, a Chinese market in San Francisco, and the mostly Hispanic flea market in </span><span style="color: black">San Jose</span><span style="color: black">. I have read Shogun, but it never crossed my mind during this writing spree.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">As far as the continuity/stand alone thing-- by Friday evening I made the decision that completing the story was more important to me than winning. It took a couple of glasses of Southern Comfort to learn to live with the decision, but it was the right one. Losing the contest I'll get over in a few days. Not getting the characters to a place of closure has no end for me. I never manage to let go of unfinished tales. As a mitigating courtesy, I did what I could to recap anything important from the earlier tales for those tuning in late.</span></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">Yup--that’s what I meant. Sorry it wasn’t clear. They started out in roughly the equivalent of </span><span style="color: black">West Virginia</span><span style="color: black">, and worked their way across the continent, and may not have a clear sense of whether there are any other continents besides the one they are on. They’ve come to the far west of it, and can not go any farther in the direction they’ve been going, and they’ve left a mess behind them every single place they’ve been, because they're the kind of characters who flee their troubles instead of facing them.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">Obviously, they could go north or south--there’s plenty of world they’ve missed, but they are out of supplies and exhausted, and Volpe is trying to impress on the kleptomaniac and the hostile non-diplomat that they need to be on their best behavior just this once.</span></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">because I’m a long winded and arrogant bastard. ;-)</span></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">because she decided to get over herself when she realized that they all nearly died back there. Tarnby may have been the only one who got the axe, but it was a very near thing for all of them. Again, my job to explain that, and I didn’t. Or rather, I moved her discussing that to a different place, where it looked like she was talking about something else, and it was less effective there.</span></p><p>In any case, she realized that she wanted him, and decided to do something about it, because she's not into subtle flirting, and Volpe needed to be hit over the ehad with a brick to realize that she wasn't off limits to him, and Mirabelle is always obliging about providing clue bricks.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">Ok, true confession: Miguel was supposed to be the love interest.</span></p><p><span style="color: black">Ah, but it was disgusting. I couldn’t bear it.</span></p><p><span style="color: black">While I was sweating over that, she informed me that the reason the scene didn’t work was that Miguel hadn’t earned her trust the way Volpe had. Miguel had no right to touch her. Volpe did. But of course, he was too . . .Volpe . .. to permit himself any thoughts on the subject. And by the time I got my head around all of that, I forgot that the rest of you weren’t in on her admission about him to me. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">You have to imagine how fast I have to write to build these things--27 pages in less than 2 days takes a lot of doing. Yeah, I had three, but I also have a life. Saturday night I spent drinking champagne in Chinatown. Sunday my child spiked a fever and passed out in a restaurant in the middle of a plate of pancakes. So 2 days is all this one got.</span></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">ah no--he specifically said only round ears are allowed to compete. He’s careful about that sort of thing.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">We’ll go in to the fungus later. Lots of research in that one--too long to tell now.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">Lillabo’s death wasn’t meant to be tragic. She did an awful thing to Tarnby, and I thought of it as karmic payback time. Her one effort she’s ever made in her whole life to clean up a mess she’s made, to set something right that she left behind.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">Lillabo started as my first and favorite character. But from the vantage point I am at now, I saw her immaturity and her need to grow up. I gave her a chance to do that. And she did it and I was proud of her for it. Again, I’m sorry that didn’t come through clearly. I felt kind of grossed out at the lack of subtley in the emotional tearjerking in the second one, and decided to try something different--a death that was well earned. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">Mirabelle and Volpe both also needed to work on certain character flaws to achieve growth and closure. Neither of them needed to die to get there. They both got there, but it was </span><span style="color: black">4 am</span><span style="color: black"> on Monday at that point, and so it was perhaps not as well done as it could have been done. C’est la guerre.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">The maypole and Miguel are both absolutely essential to what this story is about. Go back and look at it again, and think about what the yarn, the town, the fungus mind and Volpe all have in common.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">It's there, I promise. </span></p><p><span style="color: black">It was the reason for writing the tale.</span></p><p>[/spoiler]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sialia, post: 1338664, member: 1025"] [color=lemonchiffon]Thanks Berandor![/color] [color=lemonchiffon]Some replies to specific points:[/color] [color=black][spoiler][/spoiler][/color][spoiler] [color=black]The bathhouse wasn't ripped from Shogun. It was ripped from my victory dance from celebrating my graduation in December. I left out the massage because some things are too fine to share.[/color] [color=black]The cultural mix is a direct depiction of the racial and ethnic mix of the neighborhood I live in. Yes, the kids on the playground here do speak a jumble of Japanese, Chinese, Dutch, Spanish, Hindi and even occasionally English. The market was based on a combination of a real Italian market, a Chinese market in San Francisco, and the mostly Hispanic flea market in [/color][color=black]San Jose[/color][color=black]. I have read Shogun, but it never crossed my mind during this writing spree.[/color] [color=black]As far as the continuity/stand alone thing-- by Friday evening I made the decision that completing the story was more important to me than winning. It took a couple of glasses of Southern Comfort to learn to live with the decision, but it was the right one. Losing the contest I'll get over in a few days. Not getting the characters to a place of closure has no end for me. I never manage to let go of unfinished tales. As a mitigating courtesy, I did what I could to recap anything important from the earlier tales for those tuning in late.[/color] [color=black][/color] [color=black]Yup--that’s what I meant. Sorry it wasn’t clear. They started out in roughly the equivalent of [/color][color=black]West Virginia[/color][color=black], and worked their way across the continent, and may not have a clear sense of whether there are any other continents besides the one they are on. They’ve come to the far west of it, and can not go any farther in the direction they’ve been going, and they’ve left a mess behind them every single place they’ve been, because they're the kind of characters who flee their troubles instead of facing them.[/color] [color=black]Obviously, they could go north or south--there’s plenty of world they’ve missed, but they are out of supplies and exhausted, and Volpe is trying to impress on the kleptomaniac and the hostile non-diplomat that they need to be on their best behavior just this once.[/color] [color=black][/color] [color=black]because I’m a long winded and arrogant bastard. ;-)[/color] [color=black][/color] [color=black]because she decided to get over herself when she realized that they all nearly died back there. Tarnby may have been the only one who got the axe, but it was a very near thing for all of them. Again, my job to explain that, and I didn’t. Or rather, I moved her discussing that to a different place, where it looked like she was talking about something else, and it was less effective there.[/color] In any case, she realized that she wanted him, and decided to do something about it, because she's not into subtle flirting, and Volpe needed to be hit over the ehad with a brick to realize that she wasn't off limits to him, and Mirabelle is always obliging about providing clue bricks. [color=black][/color] [color=black]Ok, true confession: Miguel was supposed to be the love interest.[/color] [color=black]Ah, but it was disgusting. I couldn’t bear it.[/color] [color=black]While I was sweating over that, she informed me that the reason the scene didn’t work was that Miguel hadn’t earned her trust the way Volpe had. Miguel had no right to touch her. Volpe did. But of course, he was too . . .Volpe . .. to permit himself any thoughts on the subject. And by the time I got my head around all of that, I forgot that the rest of you weren’t in on her admission about him to me. [/color] [color=black]You have to imagine how fast I have to write to build these things--27 pages in less than 2 days takes a lot of doing. Yeah, I had three, but I also have a life. Saturday night I spent drinking champagne in Chinatown. Sunday my child spiked a fever and passed out in a restaurant in the middle of a plate of pancakes. So 2 days is all this one got.[/color] [color=black][/color] [color=black]ah no--he specifically said only round ears are allowed to compete. He’s careful about that sort of thing.[/color] [color=black]We’ll go in to the fungus later. Lots of research in that one--too long to tell now.[/color] [color=black]Lillabo’s death wasn’t meant to be tragic. She did an awful thing to Tarnby, and I thought of it as karmic payback time. Her one effort she’s ever made in her whole life to clean up a mess she’s made, to set something right that she left behind.[/color] [color=black]Lillabo started as my first and favorite character. But from the vantage point I am at now, I saw her immaturity and her need to grow up. I gave her a chance to do that. And she did it and I was proud of her for it. Again, I’m sorry that didn’t come through clearly. I felt kind of grossed out at the lack of subtley in the emotional tearjerking in the second one, and decided to try something different--a death that was well earned. [/color] [color=black]Mirabelle and Volpe both also needed to work on certain character flaws to achieve growth and closure. Neither of them needed to die to get there. They both got there, but it was [/color][color=black]4 am[/color][color=black] on Monday at that point, and so it was perhaps not as well done as it could have been done. C’est la guerre.[/color] [color=black]The maypole and Miguel are both absolutely essential to what this story is about. Go back and look at it again, and think about what the yarn, the town, the fungus mind and Volpe all have in common.[/color] [color=black]It's there, I promise. [/color] [color=black]It was the reason for writing the tale.[/color] [color=black][font=Times New Roman][/font][/color][/spoiler][color=black][font=Times New Roman][/font][/color] [/QUOTE]
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