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Winter Ceramic DM™: THE WINNER!
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<blockquote data-quote="Sialia" data-source="post: 1342751" data-attributes="member: 1025"><p>Interlude while we wait:</p><p> </p><p>The idea of a bard who can’t sing all that well is actually borrowed from a character Piratecat played in someone else’s campaign. (still plays?)</p><p> </p><p>That character tells awful jokes as his primary form of bardly performance. I kid you not. He’s also a fairly important cleric and the party leader.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I always thought the puns and one liners were cute but kind of goofy until the day I guest played the monster for that campaign.</p><p> </p><p>I had just ruthlessly slaughtered Kidcthulhu’s character (and another player’s character, too--although I didn’t know that that character was wearing a ring of regeneration), and their deaths had been those completely unreasonable kind of deaths where the PC never has a chance to do anything or see it coming before winding up at neg 40 (or something), because I’m pretty efficient when I’m evil. So I decided to be less efficient and gloat over Piratecat’s bard’s death in classic movie villain style, not so much because I was feeling charitable as feeling cocky.</p><p> </p><p>I was using a fly spell at the time, and Piratecat’s character had a known weakness for being unable to cast clerical spells when not in contact with the ground. So I hoisted him up and carried him above his troops. My plan was to gut him in front of all his comrades and rain his entrails down upon them.</p><p> </p><p>And so we fly upwards for a round or so to get into position. We’re about 200 feet in the air when he turns to me and says</p><p> </p><p>And he says to me “Knock, knock.”</p><p> </p><p>And I say “Who’s there?”</p><p> </p><p>And he says “Dispel magic.”</p><p> </p><p>And I say “Dispel magic who?”</p><p> </p><p>And he says “Dis spell you’re using to fly is magic, isn’t it?” </p><p> </p><p>You should have seen the look on my face as I fell. Worse, you should have seen the look on my face when his ring of feather fall yanked him up out of my arms as I fell.</p><p> </p><p>We had one of those brief tussles wherein the villain (who is plummeting) tries to hold on the hero (who is not). Opposed grapples, I lost.</p><p> </p><p>Last thing I remember him quipping was “Gravity is a harsh mistress.”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sialia, post: 1342751, member: 1025"] Interlude while we wait: The idea of a bard who can’t sing all that well is actually borrowed from a character Piratecat played in someone else’s campaign. (still plays?) That character tells awful jokes as his primary form of bardly performance. I kid you not. He’s also a fairly important cleric and the party leader. Anyway, I always thought the puns and one liners were cute but kind of goofy until the day I guest played the monster for that campaign. I had just ruthlessly slaughtered Kidcthulhu’s character (and another player’s character, too--although I didn’t know that that character was wearing a ring of regeneration), and their deaths had been those completely unreasonable kind of deaths where the PC never has a chance to do anything or see it coming before winding up at neg 40 (or something), because I’m pretty efficient when I’m evil. So I decided to be less efficient and gloat over Piratecat’s bard’s death in classic movie villain style, not so much because I was feeling charitable as feeling cocky. I was using a fly spell at the time, and Piratecat’s character had a known weakness for being unable to cast clerical spells when not in contact with the ground. So I hoisted him up and carried him above his troops. My plan was to gut him in front of all his comrades and rain his entrails down upon them. And so we fly upwards for a round or so to get into position. We’re about 200 feet in the air when he turns to me and says And he says to me “Knock, knock.” And I say “Who’s there?” And he says “Dispel magic.” And I say “Dispel magic who?” And he says “Dis spell you’re using to fly is magic, isn’t it?” You should have seen the look on my face as I fell. Worse, you should have seen the look on my face when his ring of feather fall yanked him up out of my arms as I fell. We had one of those brief tussles wherein the villain (who is plummeting) tries to hold on the hero (who is not). Opposed grapples, I lost. Last thing I remember him quipping was “Gravity is a harsh mistress.” [/QUOTE]
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