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Message: <blockquote data-quote="seasong" data-source="post: 679362" data-attributes="member: 5137">So, here's my apology: I apologize. I sucked on this one. I sucked harder than incognito said - if I was planning a game session and this was what I'd come up with by the deadline, I would have cancelled.But I had to submit something, and at the deadline, that's what I had... and I would rather get ripped up than quit just because I had a bad day.I feel rotten about this win, too, because I think mythago should have won. His kraken wasn't terribly detailed, but I think that's at least partly because he was trying to keep his word count down. And while both entries were incomplete, mythago's wouldn't require a complete rewrite to make it good.I would like to make one point: for its length, it's good. I hate to say it, but for the level of detail that our fair and honest judge demands on NPCs, background, and motivation, I am not going to be able to keep it under 2,000 words. This one was an experiment, and I think it failed - the competitors have to play to the judge, and the judge likes detail.Now, let's get down to the brass tacks I'm sitting on.1. I should have simply written this as an extension of the last one. Assume that the PCs are on Uuhef's boat, and write up hooks for various reasons why Uuhef's crew would be interested in this job. If I treated it as a module, in fact, I could have drawn the fiend into the earlier scenario, as being involved in the thieves' guild that was trying to frame Johannsen. I would have, but I ran out of time when it occurred to me this morning and I had to leave it as an alternate.2. Summary, summary, summary! ARGH!3. The structure was weak. I built this around a single encounter, and while that may be good for some GMs, I prefer to stage multiple encounters in a scenario - I'm not sure why I went the opposite way with this one.4. Using the mirror on the kraken isn't obvious. It's a last ditch, desperate measure in a fight where there are few items on hand, and the history of the item will come back up. I should have made this more obvious (perhaps giving some flavor text the GM could read to the PCs that would seed the idea in their heads).5. I really should have had a list of "ways this could go" and the politics they would lead to. The fiend could become friend or foe, as could the cities, for example. I've been trying, with these IronDMs, to get better at writing scenarios for other people's use, and that means explaining more than I'm accustomed to.6. I should have explained this more: why is the kraken helping him? Because he has arranged for an easy meal for it! Simple as that, really - no one is expecting a kraken to happen by.A defense in my favor:I stand by not detailing the fiend. However, I should have explained his methods for preventing communication better. I tend to think of haste, counterspelling and dispel magic as almost standard villain affairs, and a few preparatory spells (anti-divination magics placed in the right areas) as good add-ons. In practice, he's unlikely to have to stop more than one or two attempts at a time. And as for why he wouldn't be joining the fight... well, that's WHY he enlisted the aid of the kraken.</blockquote>

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