WOTC Tools Anonymous

[Ashrem Bayle]

Hello. My name is Ashrem Bayle, and I am Wizards of the Coast's little b*tch. They slap me, and I call them "Daddy".

For my wife and I's first anniversery, I have requested the three revised core books as my gift.

*pauses a moment while everyone nods in understanding then sits*

 

[The Sigil]

*stands up*

Originally posted by Olgar
"Please tell me I'm not alone, and if there's any hope for a cure -- perhaps a 12-step program?"

There is in fact a 12-step program. Unfortunately for you, the cure is worse than the disease... the 12-step program may be found in the Earthdawn role-playing game.

*notices blank stares from rest of audience*

Umm... er.... Earthdawn... you know, a FASA RPG? Hello?

*sighs*

Well, as long as we can hook you on "d20" and not "WotC" you should be in good shape. It's progress, at any rate... instead of being completely enslaved by one company, you can be enslaved by multiple companies... giving you a wider range of options...

Wow, my voice must have filled the room... it had to, because everyone got up and left to make room for it.

*waits for drum kick before realizing the drummer left, too*

Right, um, I'll just wait here then for you, shall I, sir...

Yes. Um...

*sits down*

--The Sigil

 

[HellHound]

We once would have considered joining a twelve step group...

Step 1 is admitting to yourself and a higher power that you are out of control.

But the problem with this is the whole plan is to STOP. I don't WANT to stop, thank you very much.

I am an addict.

And I love it.

 

[WanderingMonster]

Step 1 is admitting to yourself and a higher power that you are out of control.

Oh! Okay. So like Gruumsh, or Pelor...can it be a demigod, or does it have to be of at least intermediate deity status?

 

[Dinkeldog]

*Here's what my roommate would say*

Hello, I'm a WOTC Tool... I love D&D, but only WOTC D&D. I refuse to buy or look at any book not published by WOTC. It doesn't matter how crappy the WOTC book is, or how awesome the other book is, I won't buy it. It doesn't matter to me if the creatures in the Monsternomicon or the Creatures Compendium are ten times better than the ones in Monster Manual II. I won't buy them or look at them.

Dude, you thought Monsternomicon and the Creature Compendiums were better than MMII? Only one creature from the Creature Compendiums made it to actual play in games I've DM'ed or played, while I've used quite a few from MMII.

 

[doctorjeff98]

I too am a tool/addict whatever you want to call it. I've been hooked since the late seventies. Instead of curing me, each new version of the game draws me in deeper. I even collected D&D comic books, coloring books, choose your own adventure books, and loved the cartoon. Should I ever grow up?

 

[John Crichton]

* stands *

I'm no tool. I have gone way beyond that at this point. I am a 30th Level Purchaser of d20 materials, dice and other gaming nick-nacks. Occassionally I go into a period where my buying dies down. Then I wake up in a cold sweat, walk out to my front porch and wonder why I have a shipment sitting there containing 3 new rulebooks.

It's hard to sleep these days. People look at me funny and address me as "sir" from time to time. On weekends I gather a group of similar-minded folks and we sit down and take out our aggressions on creatures of indescribable evil and malice. The leader walks thru the crowd like a shadow watching the rest as they go to task. It's almost like church.

At the beginning of every day we die and at the end of every session we are reborn. It has become much more than an addiction. It is a way of life. We can stop anytime, really. But nobody wants to....

* sits *