WotC_PeterS: Magic Items

[Set]

Other random items;

Scabbard of Green Edges - for when you want your new magic sword to match your green tunic

Scarab of Rejection - this creepy looking bug amulet causes the wearer to automatically fail any social rolls to improve someone's reaction

Gloves of Spider Climbing - these silk gloves allow the wearer to climb spiders

Tome of Misunderstanding - causes the reader to suffer the curse of babel, receiving all spoken, written or telepathic communication as something completely different

Wings of Dying - much like wings of flying, but they only work once, causing the user to rise at a rate of 90' per round for 10 rounds, before becoming non-magical

Pipes of the Brewers - the strange and shrill noise produced by these pipes attracts drunks from all around. If they ever reach the user, they will beat him mercilessly for producing such a headache-inducing racket.

Buttock of the Titans - nobody knows what this is, but it's really big and for a creature with no sense of smell makes a handy pillow

Manual of Bodily Wealth - the reader of this tome can pull copper pieces out of his ears (and other orifices), but the process is painful

Horseshoes of Greed - the horse who wears these develops a fascination with hoarding wealth (generally by eating it) and will run off if ever left untethered with saddlebags full of loot

 

[JohnSnow]

Having just done my laundry yesterday, I actually think the aforementioned "Bag of Folding" actually sounds pretty useful.

It doesn't help an adventurer much, but in "the real world" that'd be awfully convenient.

(Off-Topic: What about a knapsack that kept a bard's clothes always clean, pressed and ready to wear...could be handy...)

I liked the "One Letter Off" items. Very clever.

 

[Zaruthustran]

"Commemorative Plate Armor" for the win.

 

[Lurker37]

Just Another User, I think you've underestimated just how nasty a cursed item a hat of holding really could be.

Sure, there's the 'Who turned out the lights?' version: the wearer put the hat on, it slides down to their shoulders and their head is now in a pocket dimension, like poking your head into a portable hole. The hat can be safely and easily removed.

But there's also the 'Now what do I do?' version, the hat doesn't stop at the wearer's shoulders. It falls to the ground where their feet were. Their entire body is now in the pocket dimension, sharing it with everyone else who's ever been unfortunate enough to try the hat on. The portal back out is only open when someone is being captured by the hat. Some of these hats may even have ways to prevent death from hunger, thirst or asphyxiation.

Finally, the 'Ewwwww!' version. Take the 'Who turned out the lights?' version, but when the hat stops at the hapless wearer's shoulders, the portal closes. This last one probably isn't allowed in 4E, given the removal of save-or-die effects.

 

[Doug McCrae]

*1 Longsword

Heward's Mighty Organ

Periapt of Proof against Particularly Potent Poison

Dust of Wryness

Dust of Sarcasm

Cloak of Arachnophobia

Belt of Flumph Strength

Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location

Staff of Interior Decoration

Rod of Flailing Wildly

Ring of Winking

Girdle of Homosexuality/Lesbianism

 

[Lonely Tylenol]

*1 Longsword

Heward's Mighty Organ

Periapt of Proof against Particularly Potent Poison

Dust of Wryness

Dust of Sarcasm

Cloak of Arachnophobia

Belt of Flumph Strength

Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location

Staff of Interior Decoration

Rod of Flailing Wildly

Ring of Winking

Girdle of Homosexuality/Lesbianism

Hey there. Nice girdle.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

The Book of Literacy wins it for me.

On a slightly related note, the Robe of Useless Items actually existed in 2E. There is an entry for it in the Encyclopedia Magica.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Set]

*1 Longsword

Nice!

Heward's Mighty Organ

But does it make music? And wow, my mind just went to a bad place...

Dust of Wryness

Awesome!

Rod of Flailing Wildly

This is me, pretending I can fight.


New options;

Eyes of Arrow Catching. At least it won't hurt.

Pants of Bashing. Hippy-hippy SLAM ATTACK!

Slippers of Cold Resistance. Your feet never get cold. The rest of you? Well, uh...

Rod of Splenda. Shaking this rod over food makes it taste better, or perhaps chalky.

Rod of Dithering. Pointing this rod at someone as a standard action causes them to lose their next action.

Immovable Rod. Once created, this rod can't be moved. There is no command word to turn this effect off.

Periapt of Fzoul Rotting. This gem causes uncurable Mummy Rot in any character named Fzoul. Since that persons death, it's been a paperweight.

Mace of Brood. This mace can impregnate any female struck. On a critical hit, it can impregnate a male.

Restraining Spoon. A touch attack with this spoon can pin any target of your own size class or smaller.

Hammer, Dwarven Thrower. This hammer throws angry Dwarves at the target, generally using any Dwarf holding the hammer as ammunition. (It falls in the square of origin, while the Dwarf flies into the target.)

Arrow of Slayer. This arrow has it's own soundtrack, but rarely hits.

Fun Blade. This sword looks like a long sword, but acts as a dagger for all particulars (ease of use, damage, etc.). It does extra damage to lawful people and curmudgeons. When swung overhead vigorously, it causes lightning to flash down, thunder to smash and the user to appear much larger and stronger, while his hair whips around in sudden winds. His voice becomes deep and booming.

 

[davethegame]

From his white-board of ever-naming .

On the Cubicle Whiteboard: Bad Magic Item Names
Posted By: WotC_PeterS, 2/13/2008 8:42:45 AM

Robe of Useless Items

Axe of Frosty Shakes

Deck of 1 or 2 Things

Vote for your favorite and I'll give the author of that item a cookie!​

Robe of Useless Items was one of our favorite items from the 2e Magic Item Compendiums, right up there with "Omelette of the Planes"

Axe of Frosty Shakes reminds me of the popular magic item "Milkshake That Brings All the Boys to the Yard"

Deck of 1 or 2 things made me laugh out loud.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Manual of Bodily Wealth - the reader of this tome can pull copper pieces out of his ears (and other orifices), but the process is painful

Horseshoes of Greed - the horse who wears these develops a fascination with hoarding wealth (generally by eating it) and will run off if ever left untethered with saddlebags full of loot

These two items together would be dangerous...and disgusting.

Arrow of Slayer. This arrow has it's own soundtrack, but rarely hits.

Oh, that's bad...just bad...