Writing my first adventure - feedback greatly appreciated

[ArgonGlow]

Well, lets to do this thing. I have been working an adventure for quite a while now, and think that I've got the first part to a point where it is presentable enough to share. I'm quite nervous posting this as English isn't my first language and since this is my first adventure. I know I'm new on these forums, but I hope some of you are willing to look over what I've been working on. Any feedback is welcome; though obvious things like the maps not being final and the grammatical error are not what I'm trying to get out of this. Hope you can give me your thoughts on the design, word use, descriptions etc. That said, when in doubt, put it down below.

This is part one of the adventure. Players start at 1st level. If bits seem over explained it is because I am targeting new DMs. There are a lot more handholds and in depth sections planned as part of the introduction. There might be some background info that is missing from npcs or locations, please let me know. I've got most of those written down for the introduction and separate in depth section, but I still might have glanced over some things.

Here goes nothing: https://drive.google.com/file/d/11E6iZgX0JOBf-eeeG8FUKErgfEuLV_OX/view?usp=sharing

 

[ccs]

1) What's the actual reward from Trent?
A "fitting reward" is mentioned when the PCs are summoned, but I've yet to meet a player who wouldn't bring that up once talking to Trent.

2) Wether or not the PCs are from the city or not, regardless of their classes/backgrounds, you should make it crystal clear that they each know Trent & vice versa. Otherwise you get: "Why is this guy recruiting us, random strangers, for a sensitive job? Especially when he already has Paladins available. If it were a that much of a problem, wouldn't one of the Pallies get involved??"

3) Looting crates in the Redshields outpost. For ex; area 3c
Sure, players may well do this. But as the whole point of the adventure concerns trying to stop people stealing others goods/supplies/etc.... If you're trying to explain things to new DMs you might want to point this out.

 

[ArgonGlow]

Hi, and thank you. And all good points. This is the stuff I'm looking for.

1. correct, there is a defined reward for the task, and that info should be brought forward to when they meet.

2. This is indeed a point of clarification, some of this is handled in the introduction section (WIP). The idea is, as you say, that either the characters know Trent or another characters is the middle man between Trent and them; "I've got someone I trust who'd be willing to help." That idea. The reason that that the Paladins aren't involved is that they see them coming from a mile away, so I think that 'why not the paladins' is covered, but the 'why this collection of strangers' needs to be reinforced as you say.

3. Added a section for this in the second warehouse, oversight of me to not bring it up earlier at the first warehouse. Good catch .