Graywolf-ELM
Explorer
7 square inches of dress. Does that still qualify as dress? Or am I doing the math wrong?
GW
GW
X-PATH 2 : The Forge of F.U. (Completed 15 April 2005)
- Thread starter Capellan
- Start date
Raging Epistaxis
First Post
Ahh, it's good to be (my own) bossman. And to have such an excellent story to read.Peterson said:
Thanks, Capellan
Capellan
Explorer
5: Smoke on the Water
"Someone had themselves a big ol' barbecue." Floyd shoved half of a hamburger in his mouth and gestured at a large black-and-ash stain on the floor.
"Nothing gets past you, Junior Ranger." Bev snarked. Her temper was never the best when people were eating. Which was most of the time, with Floyd.
The group stood at the far end of the passageway, having followed it into a large stone hall. The chamber was easily fifty feet across, and close twice as long, with a beautiful vaulted ceiling that is supported by intricately-carved stone pillars. All of which was lost on the five of them, of course.
"They must have had some reason for doing it." Smith observed. He glanced around the hall and then pointed to what appeared to be a wide shaft in the centre of the floor. Sooty footprints led there from the remains of the fire, "Then they went down there."
"If we're going down, Bev should lead the way." Simon ignored his own advice and walked to the edge of the shaft. After peering in, he turned back and gave a thumbs up, "There are – bzzzzzzzzz - here, so we - bzzzzzzzzz - them."
"What did he say?" Smith frowned.
"Dunno." Floyd slurped at a Cherry Coke. "Couldn't hear him over that sudden loud 'buzzing' sound."
* * *
"Are you sure these are the right people for the job, sir? They don't seem very bright."
"Don't overestimate intelligence, Johnson. They say Trotsky was as smart as a whip, and all it got him was an ice pick through the head, courtesy of Joe Stalin. These boys are my ice pick."
* * *
"Funny lookin' things." Floyd poked one of the dead creatures with his toe, "Kinda remind me of a bat, crossed with a mosquito. 'course, the mosquitoes back home are a mite nastier. I been bit so many times back home, but these fellas never even touched me."
"Maybe they don't like fatty foods."
"Damn silly of 'em, then." Floyd slapped his belly and gave Beverly a contented smile, "Which reminds me, I'm feelin' kinda peckish. Anyone else want a deep-fried peanut butter sandwich?"
* * *
After progressing down the stairs and fighting off an attack from more of the 'mosquito-bats', the five adventurers found themselves in a series of natural caverns, quite different to the worked stone halls above. A stream cut across the cave floor, disappearing under a thick overhang of rock.
Fabio frowned,
"We should leave this place immediately."
"Something wrong?" Smith scanned the room, shotgun ready for trouble.
"Very. The lighting here is terrible."
"And there's no loot." Simon returned from ninja-ing every stalagmite and stalactite he could reach. "I had a quick look down the tunnels leading out of here and there didn't seem much difference between them."
They went left, following a dog-legged passage that opens into another wide stone cavern. This one had no stream, but the air was still damp, suggesting that more water flowed nearby.
"Some kind of wooden gate over there." Simon's eyesight was the best in the group, giving lie to the old tale that some things will send you blind.
"Means these caves must have been occupied by something intelligent." Smith moved slowly toward the gate, sweeping his shotgun back and forth to cover the cave, "At least up until fairly recently. Gate would've rotted away in this damp, without something looking after it."
As the Mormon spoke, the 'something' that cared for the gate became apparent.
What looked like a patch of rock suddenly moved, revealing a grey-scaled, lizard-like humanoid that had been standing statue-still against the cave wall. A wave of strong, musk-like stench suddenly emanated from the beast as it grabbed the gate and wrenched it wide open.
"Oh, gross." Bev wrinkled her nose at the foul smell that washes over them. Smith's reaction to it went unrecorded: he was too busy being mauled by a massive brown bear.
The enraged animal burst out of the now-open gate, roaring its frustration and charging the first person it saw. Its claws raked the Mormon's shoulders as it grasped him in a crushing body hug, fracturing one of his ribs. The beast then leaned its head down, teeth glinting as it readied to savage Smith's face, but the Mormon twisted his shotgun upwards and pulled the trigger, blowing away half of its jaw.
Simon was the first to react, leaping forward to plunge his rapier into the bear's side. Arms wrapped around the struggling Smith, the beast could do little to avoid the blow: blood fountained from the wound, and the bear shuddered with pain, grip relaxing just enough to allow Smith to slip free of its grasp.
Simon's quick response left him vulnerable to retaliation, however, and a second one of the lizard-like humanoids raced out of the darkness, clawing at the ninja as he coughed and staggered from its appalling odour.
The battle was merciless. The massive bear swiped at Fabio with its claws, knocking him from his feet, while its repulsive lizard-like handlers raked at the already wounded Smith with their hooked and mud-encrusted claws. The five humans retaliated with swords and shells; Floyd blasting a ragged hole clean through one of the humanoids, while Fabio hacked at the bear's claws from where he was sprawled on the ground.
Five against three could only end one way, however, and even with the advantage of an ambush, the lizard-things and their ursine pet were soon destroyed. Simon grimaced as he searched the corpses for loot,
"What are these things?"
"Devils." Floyd spoke with authority.
Bev raised her eyebrows,
"Really? I just thought they were stinky lizards of some kind. Man, they reeked."
Simon nodded,
"I nearly lost my lunch."
"Exactly,son." Floyd nodded, "Now that's what I call diabolical."
* * *
After discovering some ancient corpses in another cavern and looting them of everything that was still intact, the group pressed on into the complex. Then, from ahead of them came a deep noise, muffled but deep and powerful.
"What's that?" Floyd asked.
"Sounds like thunder." Smith frowned, "But continuous."
"It's a waterfall." Bev looked surprised when everyone stared at her, "What? We've been seeing streams all over the place. You didn't think of it?"
The young heiress proved correct: the next cavern contained a stream - narrow but deep and fas-running - that stretched the length of the chamber before plunging over a cliff-edge into darkness. Not far from the cliff was another tunnel entrance; the only other visible exit from the cave.
"Go check it out." Smith instructed Simon.
"Ninja!" the younger man agreed, making his way over to the tunnel. He peered in, then turned back and shouted something that went unheard over the roar of the water. Oblivious to this, he turned and walked down to the edge of the cliff.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
It's amazing how falling over a waterfall can add a few extra decibels to your voice.
"Someone had themselves a big ol' barbecue." Floyd shoved half of a hamburger in his mouth and gestured at a large black-and-ash stain on the floor.
"Nothing gets past you, Junior Ranger." Bev snarked. Her temper was never the best when people were eating. Which was most of the time, with Floyd.
The group stood at the far end of the passageway, having followed it into a large stone hall. The chamber was easily fifty feet across, and close twice as long, with a beautiful vaulted ceiling that is supported by intricately-carved stone pillars. All of which was lost on the five of them, of course.
"They must have had some reason for doing it." Smith observed. He glanced around the hall and then pointed to what appeared to be a wide shaft in the centre of the floor. Sooty footprints led there from the remains of the fire, "Then they went down there."
"If we're going down, Bev should lead the way." Simon ignored his own advice and walked to the edge of the shaft. After peering in, he turned back and gave a thumbs up, "There are – bzzzzzzzzz - here, so we - bzzzzzzzzz - them."
"What did he say?" Smith frowned.
"Dunno." Floyd slurped at a Cherry Coke. "Couldn't hear him over that sudden loud 'buzzing' sound."
* * *
"Are you sure these are the right people for the job, sir? They don't seem very bright."
"Don't overestimate intelligence, Johnson. They say Trotsky was as smart as a whip, and all it got him was an ice pick through the head, courtesy of Joe Stalin. These boys are my ice pick."
* * *
"Funny lookin' things." Floyd poked one of the dead creatures with his toe, "Kinda remind me of a bat, crossed with a mosquito. 'course, the mosquitoes back home are a mite nastier. I been bit so many times back home, but these fellas never even touched me."
"Maybe they don't like fatty foods."
"Damn silly of 'em, then." Floyd slapped his belly and gave Beverly a contented smile, "Which reminds me, I'm feelin' kinda peckish. Anyone else want a deep-fried peanut butter sandwich?"
* * *
After progressing down the stairs and fighting off an attack from more of the 'mosquito-bats', the five adventurers found themselves in a series of natural caverns, quite different to the worked stone halls above. A stream cut across the cave floor, disappearing under a thick overhang of rock.
Fabio frowned,
"We should leave this place immediately."
"Something wrong?" Smith scanned the room, shotgun ready for trouble.
"Very. The lighting here is terrible."
"And there's no loot." Simon returned from ninja-ing every stalagmite and stalactite he could reach. "I had a quick look down the tunnels leading out of here and there didn't seem much difference between them."
They went left, following a dog-legged passage that opens into another wide stone cavern. This one had no stream, but the air was still damp, suggesting that more water flowed nearby.
"Some kind of wooden gate over there." Simon's eyesight was the best in the group, giving lie to the old tale that some things will send you blind.
"Means these caves must have been occupied by something intelligent." Smith moved slowly toward the gate, sweeping his shotgun back and forth to cover the cave, "At least up until fairly recently. Gate would've rotted away in this damp, without something looking after it."
As the Mormon spoke, the 'something' that cared for the gate became apparent.
What looked like a patch of rock suddenly moved, revealing a grey-scaled, lizard-like humanoid that had been standing statue-still against the cave wall. A wave of strong, musk-like stench suddenly emanated from the beast as it grabbed the gate and wrenched it wide open.
"Oh, gross." Bev wrinkled her nose at the foul smell that washes over them. Smith's reaction to it went unrecorded: he was too busy being mauled by a massive brown bear.
The enraged animal burst out of the now-open gate, roaring its frustration and charging the first person it saw. Its claws raked the Mormon's shoulders as it grasped him in a crushing body hug, fracturing one of his ribs. The beast then leaned its head down, teeth glinting as it readied to savage Smith's face, but the Mormon twisted his shotgun upwards and pulled the trigger, blowing away half of its jaw.
Simon was the first to react, leaping forward to plunge his rapier into the bear's side. Arms wrapped around the struggling Smith, the beast could do little to avoid the blow: blood fountained from the wound, and the bear shuddered with pain, grip relaxing just enough to allow Smith to slip free of its grasp.
Simon's quick response left him vulnerable to retaliation, however, and a second one of the lizard-like humanoids raced out of the darkness, clawing at the ninja as he coughed and staggered from its appalling odour.
The battle was merciless. The massive bear swiped at Fabio with its claws, knocking him from his feet, while its repulsive lizard-like handlers raked at the already wounded Smith with their hooked and mud-encrusted claws. The five humans retaliated with swords and shells; Floyd blasting a ragged hole clean through one of the humanoids, while Fabio hacked at the bear's claws from where he was sprawled on the ground.
Five against three could only end one way, however, and even with the advantage of an ambush, the lizard-things and their ursine pet were soon destroyed. Simon grimaced as he searched the corpses for loot,
"What are these things?"
"Devils." Floyd spoke with authority.
Bev raised her eyebrows,
"Really? I just thought they were stinky lizards of some kind. Man, they reeked."
Simon nodded,
"I nearly lost my lunch."
"Exactly,son." Floyd nodded, "Now that's what I call diabolical."
* * *
After discovering some ancient corpses in another cavern and looting them of everything that was still intact, the group pressed on into the complex. Then, from ahead of them came a deep noise, muffled but deep and powerful.
"What's that?" Floyd asked.
"Sounds like thunder." Smith frowned, "But continuous."
"It's a waterfall." Bev looked surprised when everyone stared at her, "What? We've been seeing streams all over the place. You didn't think of it?"
The young heiress proved correct: the next cavern contained a stream - narrow but deep and fas-running - that stretched the length of the chamber before plunging over a cliff-edge into darkness. Not far from the cliff was another tunnel entrance; the only other visible exit from the cave.
"Go check it out." Smith instructed Simon.
"Ninja!" the younger man agreed, making his way over to the tunnel. He peered in, then turned back and shouted something that went unheard over the roar of the water. Oblivious to this, he turned and walked down to the edge of the cliff.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
It's amazing how falling over a waterfall can add a few extra decibels to your voice.
Plane Sailing
Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
Out of interest, does Fabio ever use his "inspire courage" ability (does he even *have* inspire courage?
Cheers
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