Yet Another Benefit of Playing D&D: Dealing with Problem Board Members

[Einan]

I work for a non-profit. We are about to get a new Board president and the staff is in an uproar. She's autocratic, opinionated and very aristocratic, which irks our staff, which is most definitely more free form and free spirited. So there will be blood, it seems.

Until... A colleague and I sat the staff down and gave them the training on how to deal with aristocratic types effectively and efficiently. Now they're ready to deal with her to produce the best possible results.

And where did I learn how to do this? Most of my information came from eight years of DMing D&D and dealing with different PC types at the table.

Thanks Dungeons & Dragons!

 

[roguerouge]

So... what were your suggestions?

 

[kenobi65]

So... what were your suggestions?

Kill her and take her stuff?

Identify who in the group has the best Diplomacy score, and have that person lead the Diplomacy check, with everyone else trying to assist?

 

[Einan]

First, never make her feel out of the loop. Include her on all discussions, even if they don't interest or include her.

Second, always be unfailingly polite. Not in a sucking up fashion, but in a very respectful manner. She's southern aristocrat and you must approach her in the proper manner.

Third, If you disagree with her, always be sure to ask her opinion first. Then respectfully say, I disagree, and here's why. After you've stated your case, then focus on places where you agree and work from there.

Fourth, if you have an idea that you think she'll immediately be opposed to, start small. Insinutate the idea slowly into the conversation over the previous week. Make her believe that it's her idea and let her take credit for it.

Fifth and last, never, ever give her cause to believe that she's been left out of the loop or ignored. Her ideas are valid, even if ultimately we do not use them.

Those were the basic advice we gave. So far I've tried them out and they seem to be working well. She's basically a good person, just a little different managerial style than we're used to dealing with in our Board President.

Einan

 

[Clueless]

Sounds like a good approach - and some of those suggested ways of dealing with others aren't valid just for southern old money. "Her ideas are valid, even if ultimately we do not use them." applies across the board. Give her some time to get familiar with and trust you, and vice versa, and I'm sure all will settle in nicely.

Edit: Heh - wow, you're local to me. Nice to meet ya!

 

[Einan]

Hello! I keep meaning to get a NC Gameday, but I keep missing it.

Einan

 

[mmadsen]

And where did I learn how to do this? Most of my information came from eight years of DMing D&D and dealing with different PC types at the table.

I dare say that most DMs don't learn those same diplomatic lessons from D&D.

 

[Einan]

Which is really too bad. One of the main DMing skills I know of is the ability to bring several separate personalities to a table and create for each of them a rewarding, fun experience. This ought to be easily transferable to dealing with differing personalities in real life as well as at the table. For me, at least, it has been useful.

 

[sckeener]

First, never make her feel out of the loop. Include her on all discussions, even if they don't interest or include her.

Second, always be unfailingly polite. Not in a sucking up fashion, but in a very respectful manner. She's southern aristocrat and you must approach her in the proper manner.

Third, If you disagree with her, always be sure to ask her opinion first. Then respectfully say, I disagree, and here's why. After you've stated your case, then focus on places where you agree and work from there.

Fourth, if you have an idea that you think she'll immediately be opposed to, start small. Insinutate the idea slowly into the conversation over the previous week. Make her believe that it's her idea and let her take credit for it.

Fifth and last, never, ever give her cause to believe that she's been left out of the loop or ignored. Her ideas are valid, even if ultimately we do not use them.

I could have used some of these when I was handed an accountant manager with no IT background who oversaw the reduction of our group from 60 IT support staff to 15. One employee had a heart attack and another was put on heart medicine under her rule. I developed ergo issues related to stress....it took me awhile to figure out what was causing it...I'd go to work fine and end the day with claws for hands. It wasn't until I had a phone call from her that I realized it was stress. Now I can tell when I am stressed...I can feel the changes in my hands...I take more breaks now...

I must admit though when I read the subject I thought this was going to be a story about real life gaming. I remember an ex-DM of mine doing real life gaming. She was a VP out in CA for an electronics company. One day I got to play. She flew in to Houston to have a diner meeting and I got to tag along as a diner date. She handed me bios of everyone that was going to be at the diner and I was to memorize them. I knew their names (with pictures), birthdays, spouses, kids, what schools they went to, their professional history, and other personal tidbits. She coached me on what we were going to say and what we were going to stay away from....it was sweet...it seemed like a typical diner date for her...but for me it seemed like a political RPG...

 

[Einan]

She coached me on what we were going to say and what we were going to stay away from....it was sweet...it seemed like a typical diner date for her...but for me it seemed like a political RPG...

Throw in that half of them had fangs and you've got Vampire: the Masquerade!