Chain Lightning
First Post
96.) The worst role-player and most annoying person in the
group rolls up a Paladin.
group rolls up a Paladin.
You know you need a new group when...
- Thread starter DM with a vengence
- Start date
jgbrowning
Hero
worst
97. Your group wants to play a party of four bards. Who dress up as fantasy monsters and wear mime paint.
joe b.
97. Your group wants to play a party of four bards. Who dress up as fantasy monsters and wear mime paint.
joe b.
bloodymage
House Ruler
Munchkin defined
I'm looking at reason number 98 right now.
98) Monk 20
Str 40
Dex 90
Con 90
Int 60
Wis 90
Cha 50
Saves:
Fort +211
Ref +205
Will +241
I'm looking at reason number 98 right now.
98) Monk 20
Str 40
Dex 90
Con 90
Int 60
Wis 90
Cha 50
Saves:
Fort +211
Ref +205
Will +241
Dakhran the Dark
First Post
101) ...one of your players mumbles words like "kill" and "rifle" when the other players pick on his gnome's name ("Yuro Nal") or his choice in familiars (with a name like that, never pick a weasel).
102) ...another of your players brings in a Shadowdancer named Zippy Longstocking, with pigtails and sock puppets on each hand...
103) ...yet another player mumbles about poisoning anyone who refuses to pronounce the character name "Laurana" properly...
104) ...same player carries a Circle of Protection: Black, and two White mana cards, in order to protect herself from real life "evil spells"...
105) ...same player again systematically stalks every male in the group, one by one, and even the most desperate and horny gamer in the group ends up in so much fear for his life that he has a court-ordered injunction placed on her to keep her a minimum of 50' away...
...but enough of the real life bitterness. Here's a few humorous ones...
106) ...when your DM talks about the game he ran at home, which involved Planescape, the god Raistlin (having actually won against Takhisis in his game), and a PACK of Tarrasques...
107) ...when an evil character takes out the entire party in one fell swoop by opening a Folding Boat to the largest size, while the party is in a cramped cavern corridor, and then laughing as everyone takes more than 50 points of damage and EVERY SINGLE PERSON fails a System Shock and dies, even the three or four characters who have 98% or above chance to succeed...
108) ...when your DM says, "okay, you didn't let me take a smoke break, you now see 50 feral halflings, and all of them want to eat you...", and then proceeds to rack up a TPK to assuage his nic-fit...
...okay, maybe there still some bitter there...
109) ...when your DM says, "Okay dudes, I'm too stoned for dice, we're playing the game diceless"...
110) ...when a player argues about exactly how long it would take to travel from the dungeon back to the inn, citing that it took x amount to travel there, factoring in the weather, season, and terrain, mumbles and flips through books, while the rest of the players literally bang their heads against the wall screaming...
111) ...when a player tries to sneak up on a dragon sleeping off a meal, which then prompts the dragon to lazily charm him and tell him to leave, which then prompts the notoriously cowardly character who followed him to CHARGE FORWARD and STRIKE MIGHTILY WITH LIGHTNING...just to see it wash off the dragon's magical resistance, and STILL tries to engage it BY HIMSELF in combat...
...still bitter...is it any wonder why I need a stiff belt of liquor before every game anymore? Which leads me to...
112) ...when gaming with your current crew requires that you drink at least three shots of Jagermeister in order to retain your sanity...
102) ...another of your players brings in a Shadowdancer named Zippy Longstocking, with pigtails and sock puppets on each hand...
103) ...yet another player mumbles about poisoning anyone who refuses to pronounce the character name "Laurana" properly...
104) ...same player carries a Circle of Protection: Black, and two White mana cards, in order to protect herself from real life "evil spells"...
105) ...same player again systematically stalks every male in the group, one by one, and even the most desperate and horny gamer in the group ends up in so much fear for his life that he has a court-ordered injunction placed on her to keep her a minimum of 50' away...
...but enough of the real life bitterness. Here's a few humorous ones...
106) ...when your DM talks about the game he ran at home, which involved Planescape, the god Raistlin (having actually won against Takhisis in his game), and a PACK of Tarrasques...
107) ...when an evil character takes out the entire party in one fell swoop by opening a Folding Boat to the largest size, while the party is in a cramped cavern corridor, and then laughing as everyone takes more than 50 points of damage and EVERY SINGLE PERSON fails a System Shock and dies, even the three or four characters who have 98% or above chance to succeed...
108) ...when your DM says, "okay, you didn't let me take a smoke break, you now see 50 feral halflings, and all of them want to eat you...", and then proceeds to rack up a TPK to assuage his nic-fit...
...okay, maybe there still some bitter there...
109) ...when your DM says, "Okay dudes, I'm too stoned for dice, we're playing the game diceless"...
110) ...when a player argues about exactly how long it would take to travel from the dungeon back to the inn, citing that it took x amount to travel there, factoring in the weather, season, and terrain, mumbles and flips through books, while the rest of the players literally bang their heads against the wall screaming...
111) ...when a player tries to sneak up on a dragon sleeping off a meal, which then prompts the dragon to lazily charm him and tell him to leave, which then prompts the notoriously cowardly character who followed him to CHARGE FORWARD and STRIKE MIGHTILY WITH LIGHTNING...just to see it wash off the dragon's magical resistance, and STILL tries to engage it BY HIMSELF in combat...
...still bitter...is it any wonder why I need a stiff belt of liquor before every game anymore? Which leads me to...
112) ...when gaming with your current crew requires that you drink at least three shots of Jagermeister in order to retain your sanity...
Pylar
First Post
113) When you are half way through Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil and you discover that one of the players is reading the module
114) (Same Campaign) When the Lawful-Good Cleric of We Jas's only reason for being is to raise more undead
115) (Same Campaign) When the Bard-Druid character starts complaining about why he can't wield his rapier...and shapeshift
115) (Same Campaign) When you've TPKed the party for the third time, they keep insisting about coming back
116) (Same Campaign) When you realize that being covered in rubbing alcohol after repeated paper cuts would be more enjoyable
....do I really need to go on??
114) (Same Campaign) When the Lawful-Good Cleric of We Jas's only reason for being is to raise more undead
115) (Same Campaign) When the Bard-Druid character starts complaining about why he can't wield his rapier...and shapeshift
115) (Same Campaign) When you've TPKed the party for the third time, they keep insisting about coming back
116) (Same Campaign) When you realize that being covered in rubbing alcohol after repeated paper cuts would be more enjoyable
....do I really need to go on??
bloodymage
House Ruler
Munchkin re-defined
OK. I got that #98 a little wrong. Looking at this player's sheet a little more closely, I see scattered around that this is a multiclassed character to the tune of:
#98 (revisited):
Monk20/Rogue20/Fighter20/Wizard20/Cleric20/Adept20!
The guy says he actually played this monstrosity!
OK. I got that #98 a little wrong. Looking at this player's sheet a little more closely, I see scattered around that this is a multiclassed character to the tune of:
#98 (revisited):
Monk20/Rogue20/Fighter20/Wizard20/Cleric20/Adept20!
The guy says he actually played this monstrosity!
Last edited:
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