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Your character does WHAT?!!!

Kesh

First Post
Daniel Knight said:
Player 1: Sigh… I jump back in and fish his body out. What items did he have?

(Player 3 hands Player 2 a new character sheet)

LOL! I think I would have fallen out of my chair at that statement. :D

As for myself, the only story I can relate is... myself.

Okay, I'll admit it wasn't a good plan. But I still say the DM didn't describe the situation quite right...

Anyway, we were running "The Burning Plague" and silly me set off the Thunderstone trap. Afterwards, we wandered down a long corridor to a closed door. We figured anything in the dungeon had been alerted to our presence, so we had two choices: go back and try another way, or open the door and deal with whatever's there. I decided the best thing to do was just go through the door, since we were bound to run into a mess eventually, and the group agreed.

So, I opened the door. The DM said there was a room with many tables, and kobolds behind the tables. A foul-smelling pot was stewing in a corner. And the kobolds all had crossbows & were looking right at me.

I (playing a monk) decided the only way to deal with this was to rush right in and try to take down at least one of the kobolds. (Later the DM said that wasn't very lawful... I thought that standing there while they got ready to fight was a good way to get killed.)

Unfortunately, either he had failed to describe it properly or I simply misunderstood what he said. Turns out the kobolds were standing behind tables which were turned on their sides to be used as shields, and they had crossbows which were armed and aimed at the doorway. He rolled lots of dice and I think I had a dozen bolts in my chest before I even took a step. :D
 

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Old One

First Post
Over my 20 years of DMing, I have seen lots of boneheaded moves, but one really sticks out in my head...

The Scene: The PCs have pursued some bad guys through a gate trying to retrieve a magic item known as the Gem of the Planes. They have ended up in a primordial world where a small group of elves is attempting to hold out against savage lizardmen who use dinosaur mounts and can call upon magic from strange "rune-sticks".

During the encounter just prior to the boneheaded move, the PCs had cornered a badly wounded lizardman shaman, who had broken a rune-stick over his knee, causing a small explosion of magical energy that wounded several party members.

The Action: During the "climactic battle", the PCs get very lucky and take out most of the bad guys in short order, including the head lizardman shaman who bears a large rune-stick carved with many symbols. One of the players, who is playing a barbarian warrior, picks up the rune-stick and says, "I break it over my knee!"

All of the other players look at him with shock and horror reflected in their faces. Wanting to give him a chance to repent, I said, "What do you do?"

He replied, "I break it over my knee!"

The Result: The resultant release of stored magical energy did 20d6 damage at ground zero (no save), 20d6 within 5' (save for 1/2), 10d6 to those from 5' to 10' (save for 1/2) and 5d6 to those from 10' to 20' (save for 1/2). I rolled very high on the damage roll at ground zero (IIRC it was about 85 points) - totally tearing the PC apart. The blast almost killed several of the rest of the party (knocking several to low negs) and destroyed a number of magic items due to failed saves (2E rules).

The Aftermath: Needless to say, the rest of the party wanted to strangle him!

Old One
 

Sammael99

First Post
Tsyr said:
I could give you any number of these...

In last nights game, I was running an ongoing epic campaign. Through a fluke accident destroying an ancient artifact, the characters were hurled through dimensions, and wound up on modern-day earth.

The player playing a dwarf was walking down the "strange, hard-packed path with the yellow line" and saw a "large, metal carrige, but without horses drawing it, moving toward him at twice the clip he had ever seen one move before".

Dwarves responce?

"I grab my axe and charge it!"

And boy, did he ever...

Never used a D30 for damage before...

That's not stupid ! That's good roleplaying ;)
 

Omegium

First Post
Watch out for puppets

You walk into the residence of the evil mages. You see some puppets, resembling some of the leading elves of this city. A lot of strange looking magic things lay around it, and in front of it are a couple of needles....

Player: I destroy the puppets

(this was the player who later would play the bard Forsaken one told of in page 2)
 

Umbran

Mod Squad
Staff member
Supporter
Let's see...

The party enters an ancient abandoned elven city. The buildings are still intact, skeletons lie in the streets. In the center of town, the party finds a gazebo-like stucture. Within it, they find a heatless blue flame burning, with no apparent fuel source. The party paladin attempts to sense evil powers, and get's knocked on his butt by the response. Definite, palpable evil there.

The party rogue is curious about the heatless quality. He tried to burn a stick in the flame. Nothing happens. The skewers a bit of dried meat from his rations on the stick, and "cooks" it in the flame. No apparent change in the meat. He then eats it....

Leadin to a line that became immortal in the gaming group - "Don't eat the evil beef jerky!"

Different campaign, same player: "Don't worry! They couldn't trap all the doors in the place!" Boom!

And, my own personal boneheaded manuver - the party is deep underground, in drow territory. They have just had a major fight with some spidery things, and are healing up and curing poison. A couple of the party are in really bad shape. We can fix 'em up if we have some peace and quiet for a while. The party elven ranger (played by myself) was not injured much, and takes a decent hiding place one room back, to watch for enemies sneaking up.

Lo and behold, a troop of 8 drow, walking in two columns (by gear it looks like 4 fighters leading 4 clerics), comes down the corridor. The ranger knows that reinforcements are at least 3 rounds away. Does he cry the alarm and retreat? No. To this day I don't know why, but I chose to attack. Did I at least lie in wait to get at the backs of the last pair of spellcasters? No. I jump out and do a frontal assault on the armored fighters.

This ranger should have died. By all accounts, this was a boneheaded manuver, and this DM was not shy of killing us even when we weren't stupid. He also didn't fudge dice rolls, which is what saved my bacon....
 

Dream

First Post
This is soooo funny!!!

Just a short post to say thanks to everybody for sharing their experiences!!

THANK YOU!!!
 

birdboy2000

First Post
A friend of mine was on a mission to steal from an important government official. Instead of feigning innocence when caught, he pulled a dagger to a guard's throat and had to shovel horse manure for a day.
An ogre my party once combated was spinning around at a high rate when triple-teamed, allowing an attack of oppurtunity for both of us. He was an easy kill.
 

Cyronax

Explorer
Chivalry is dead (RttToEE spoilers!!!)

The party:

9th lvl NG Dwarven Druid: Kelec the Mossbeard (Cha. 4); Kelec was an ugly piece of *%#%. His Cha = a dretch demon.
6th/1st/1st lvl TN Human Rogue/Aristocrat/Ranger: Garreth Steele
7th/1st lvl LN Human Diviner/Loremaster: Astaldo (had a pseudodragon familiar)
5th lvl LG Azer Fighter: Izerack (NPC) -- considered a PC by the group. He became part of the group as the other two players left.

The adventure: a modified Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil

Well the party had shrunken due to the departure of our sorcerer and witch/rogue. The remnant party had entered the Temple of All-Consumption with two other fairly capable NPCs which were both immediately killed by the dragon lairing south of the Gate guard post.

Well as the party was engaging the dungeon chambers south of the Gate guard post (having opted to leave the Earth Temple for later), the party finally manages to rescue Astaldo and his familiar (Astaldo was acutally a mid-adventure replacement for our party's other rogue) who had been used by D'Gran for divining the movements of the other forces of the ToAC. IMC D'Gran was a much more political figure than the book presented. In fact, thanks to his enslavement of Astaldo, he realized that the party had enough potential to unravel the current players in the Crater Ridge Mines. He didn't think they were a match for his cunning however. His long term goal was to become a favorite of the doomdreamers. He wanted to use the PCs to eliminate the Earth Temple without the other Temples or the doomdreamers knowing his part. The female halfling barbarian (unlike the module's entry) was still very loyal to this fiendish oni.

D'Gran had only allowed Astaldo to scry for him under the watchful eyes of his half-orc and human female wizards (the names escape me since I don't have the RttToEE in front of me). Astaldo only knew that D'Gran looked somewhat like a gaunt ogre with blue skin, horns, and large fiendish wings.

Anyway, the party rescues Astaldo with the help of Astaldo's previously escaped dragon familiar, and the group procedes into D'Gran's lair. D'Gran had ordered his more powerful minions to areas away from the party's path, and the ogre mage left only a handful of low level human and gnoll guards to torture a pair of prisoners: a beautiful human woman name Tesla and a rather crude halfling barbarian. Tesla was none other than D'Gran in disguise (I had just finished reading Journey to the West, and I loved how the demons always seemed to trick the 4 travellers with stupid disguies.......anyway it worked this time too).

The party quickly defeated the cannon fodder D'Gran had left for them, and they freed Tesla and the halfling. The party grew to grow tired of the halfling woman, but they stayed their hand because Tesla convincingly played the part of the victimized damsel, all the while saying that the halfling had had it even worse than she. She alluded to a few graphic abuses that I'm sure you all can get the gist of without me relaying them here.....:( .

The party fell for it. They were a canny group mind you, but D'Gran was even able to fool Garreth, who was usually more than a capable judge of a person's character. I really played the half-fiend for all he was worth, and the party eventually ended up taking the two freed "prisoners" northward with the plan of helping Tesla right a certain wrong. She told the party that the reason she was given to D'Gran was that she had recently discovered that her father was an Earth Temple cleric who helped run a front in a city near the ToAC (my campaign wasn't on Greyahwk.....). Anyway, the story was much more complex than that, but needless to say the PCs believed her enough to bring her along. The halfling barbarian actually pretended to hate Tesla and the party's suspicion was turned to the halfling most of the time......D'Gran had planned that as well.

Well, Astaldo, being a diviner, suggested that the party rest and prepar for the assault on the Earth Temple. The other PCs readily agreed, and Kelec used a stone shape spell to seal them into a previously "conquered" room where in they could rest safely. They had used this tactic numerous times over the course of the campaign, and the party considered this a habit. As the (weakened) PCs rested, Astaldo began casting a scry spell with the wording "I want to see the monster D'Gran." Now this got me nervous....the party trapped in a sealed off chamber (which was not airtight.......hence D'Gran knew he could escape using gaseous form if necessary). To make matters worse, the sealed off area was only 10' by 20.'

I called a time out, saying that since I've never used a scry spell during gameplay before (the truth actually), that I needed to consult the books. Well I knew what was going to happen....I was stalling thinking of a way for D'Gran to counter a scry spell, so that the party would have a less tense showdown with the demon-ogre. At the time I couldn't think of any. When D'Gran realized what was happening, he immediately began preparing his tactics and secretly motioned to the halfling to be ready at a moment's notice.

Well as Astaldo's scry spell began to take effect, he just saw an aerial picture picture of the party (with Tesla sitting demurely against a wall not too far off). He refocused, and was greeted with the same image. He began to realize something was wrong all the while Garreth saw Tesla with an annoyed look on her face, slowly rise and simply shrug in exasperation saying "I guess this won't work" (upon which time the halfling barbarian drew her weapon).

Tesla transformed into D'Gran and the battle began. The outcome of which, I'm sorry to say, I as the DM fudged a few dice rolls (namely the damage Izerack, an azer, took from a cone of cold spell) and D'Gran's final concentration check that he needed to make in order to cast gaseous form to escape. It was the most tense D&D battle I'd ever run......the entire party was almost wiped out, and with it a few great characters. I usually don't pull punches, but I knew that our group only had a few more days to play together given that we probably wouldn't see each other much less be on the same continent again. We were all playing the campaign in Beijing, China (all of us American college students studying Chinese).

D'Gran, missing his concentration check, was killed from a blow fired from Garreth's sneak attack (improved invisibility wand), and Izerack lived for that day at least (he died at the hands of one of D'Gran's hill giant minions. His grave being a sealed off cyst within the ToAC itself thanks to Kelec's stone shape spell). The campaign ended a session after killing D'Gran (pretty much after the party laid their companion Izearack to rest), due to my imminent departure from Beijing to return to the States. That campaign ended up being the longest and most high level campaign I've ever run.

Anyway, I thought I'd share......


Cheers,
C.I.D. (Cyronax the Ice Devil)


"Look, listen that's a perfectly fine place for one's familiar to be stored......"
 
Last edited:

My party is going through RttToEE and the rogue finds the Miller's house unlocked. He goes in and sees blood splattered on the walls with strange insane runes traced in charcoal and blood. He then sets fire to the place and dances around outside as it burns to the ground.
He was quite lucky to escape from Burne and Rufus's castle in one piece.

A few days later, he decides to come back with the rest of the party (4th level) and take out some repressed anger on them.

One Fireball, Lightening Bolt, Stinking Cloud and +2 Battleaxe later over half the party is dead.

In another adventure the party was exploring a deserted castle when this clawed toothy spiked tail thing (think Alien from Aliens) drops out of the ceiling and takes a chunk out of the Psiwarrior. The party manages to take it out but suffer major damage. A few rooms later they find a little girl (think Newt from Aliens) cowering in the corner, the genius party fighter says.
"It could be a demon, I'll check." WHACK!

The fighter killed the girl, and then seeing what he had done the rest of the party hit him with everything they got.

One huge fight seen later, the party, minus its fighter and low on hitpoints realizes that it's in the middle of a dangerous dungeon complex filled with unknown and deadly monsters, and that it just made a lot of noise...

Aliens:4
Party: 1
 

nameless

First Post
This didn't result in total party annihilation (yet), but was far more boneheaded than I thought possible.

We were playing an L5R game, and around the local village, farms had been catching fire at night. By chance, we found the cause was some demonic-looking thing wielding a glowing red sword (L5R is as low-magic as they come). The first thing it does is cast some combination mirror-image and invisibility spell. I knew it was an invisibility spell because my character had an opponent use it on him in the previous session. Anyways, my berserker got a lucky roll and felled the thing in one mighty blow.

The body disintegrated, but the sword remained. Someone lit a torch, and I suspected it was a Shadowlands (read, evil) artifact. I made my roll with flying colors, and realized it was the Bloodsword Hate. I was the only player who knew what a bloodsword was, and the only character to do the same. They are major evil artifacts with a special purpose and the intelligence to carry it out. This one desired hate and caused it in everyone around. I explained to the other people that this was a powerful evil artifact, far more powerful than any mortal, let alone one of us. If I haven't imprinted the gravity of the situation, this thing is about as powerfil and evil as the One Ring.

While discussing what to do about it, the guy who lit the torch says, "I pick it up."

-nameless
 

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