Living with low expectations?

[sabrinathecat]

One of my tenants just returned custody of an apartment to me.
Wow.
I have cleaned up worse, but never from a tenant I chose.
Even allowing for the fact that small children were there, they treated my place like a slum. They made me look like a slum-lord.
Atrocious, Disgusting, and disgraceful. I had to ask him how he could live like this. He blamed his wife. Damn, you've got two hands. You've got a bucket and sponge.
Carpet that is supposed to last 10-15 they wrecked in 5. Never replaced a light-bulb. (only about 6 of 20 bulbs work). They've destroyed the garbage disposal. The refrigerator has had all the handles and internal pieces broken (and thrown away). Oh, all the batteries are gone from the smoke detectors, of course. And they managed to break a window. "Oh, it was like that when we moved in. See, it's on the outside." I have pictures of everything from when they moved it. I pointed that out. "Oh no, it was there. I thought you knew." Oh, the front door is broken (there's nothing for the dead-bolt and knob to anchor to). The wife said he broke it one night when he was mad. He said the wood was already split when they moved in. Yeah. Right.

Well, this is going to take a few weeks.
Not touching anything there in the dark (one light switch was covered in grime and grease--yuck I can still feel it on my fingers, and I've used soap and dish soap)

Now, the topic I propose to discuss: How could someone live like that? If you move into a place, and everything is nice, freshly painted, new flooring, new light fixtures, clean, shiny, clean, refurbished, clean... How do you let it get this bad? You saw what it was like. You lived in it. You know what it can be... How, and more importantly WHY, would you let it devolve that far. This was nothing like what I saw last spring when I made an annual inspection, so most of this is from the last 6-9 months.
What is the mindset?
Is is: "I don't care; it's not my property=it's not my problem; I just live here"?
Is it "This is what I'm used to, so that's what I expect, even if someone shows me better"?
Is it "I'm not happy unless I can see cooking grease on all the walls"?
Is it "I don't value my self, so I deserve to live in muck"?
Is it "I don't have a problem with this."?

Something else?

Thoughts?
Opinions?

 

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

One of my tenants just returned custody of an apartment to me.
Wow.
I have cleaned up worse, but never from a tenant I chose.
Even allowing for the fact that small children were there, they treated my place like a slum. They made me look like a slum-lord.
Atrocious, Disgusting, and disgraceful. I had to ask him how he could live like this. He blamed his wife. Damn, you've got two hands. You've got a bucket and sponge.
Carpet that is supposed to last 10-15 they wrecked in 5. Never replaced a light-bulb. (only about 6 of 20 bulbs work). They've destroyed the garbage disposal. The refrigerator has had all the handles and internal pieces broken (and thrown away). Oh, all the batteries are gone from the smoke detectors, of course. And they managed to break a window. "Oh, it was like that when we moved in. See, it's on the outside." I have pictures of everything from when they moved it. I pointed that out. "Oh no, it was there. I thought you knew." Oh, the front door is broken (there's nothing for the dead-bolt and knob to anchor to). The wife said he broke it one night when he was mad. He said the wood was already split when they moved in. Yeah. Right.

Well, this is going to take a few weeks.
Not touching anything there in the dark (one light switch was covered in grime and grease--yuck I can still feel it on my fingers, and I've used soap and dish soap)

That sounds pretty bad. I'm assuming you will be using their security deposit to fix the place up, right?

Now, the topic I propose to discuss: How could someone live like that? If you move into a place, and everything is nice, freshly painted, new flooring, new light fixtures, clean, shiny, clean, refurbished, clean... How do you let it get this bad? You saw what it was like. You lived in it. You know what it can be... How, and more importantly WHY, would you let it devolve that far. This was nothing like what I saw last spring when I made an annual inspection, so most of this is from the last 6-9 months.
What is the mindset?
Is is: "I don't care; it's not my property=it's not my problem; I just live here"?
Is it "This is what I'm used to, so that's what I expect, even if someone shows me better"?
Is it "I'm not happy unless I can see cooking grease on all the walls"?
Is it "I don't value my self, so I deserve to live in muck"?
Is it "I don't have a problem with this."?

Something else?

Thoughts?
Opinions?

It can be one, none, or a mixture of several of them. In my line of work, I've dealt with clients that are very poor to obscenely wealthy. I've seen million dollar homes look like they belonged in the worst ghetto in town. It's amazing how some people live.

 

[Kramodlog]

It's pretty easy to live in a dirty place, it just doesn't have to botter you.

 

[Elf Witch]

I think there are a lot of reasons for this to happen.

Some people are just slobs and don't care.

But judging from the fact that six months ago things were not as bad I would guess that with these people some kind of stress arose in their lives making them feel overwhelmed or depressed. They maybe having marriage problems and both were letting resentment stop them from behaving like adults.

Then of course mental illness can be an issue, it is with hoarding.

I do think a lot of renters do develop the idea that it is not theirs so why care. I personally don't get that I am a renter and I want my home to look nice.

 

[sabrinathecat]

Oh, the marriage fell apart, no question. But that's only part of the equation.
Sad thing is that this guy has been cleaning for the last 2 weeks, and it is still this bad.
The terrible part is that no matter what happens, the kids in the family suffer.


On a lighter note, I've noticed that the renters having the most money trouble are almost always the ones who move out leaving the most loose change on the floor, or in cupboards, or what-not. Guess that's part of the poor-money-management skills.

 

[Janx]

It's a lack of respect for the home. Not just as your property, but as the place this family shared.

I live in a 30-year old neighborhood (in houston, that's old). The houses aren't run down, but we're not nice and new like all the other subdivisions that have now popped up in the last 5-10 years around us.

The yack-hole renter across the street who apparently lost his old house to financial issues has said such awesome things as "I would never buy a house in this subdivision" implying he'd get something better. Meanwhile, he's got the nice car with shiny rims, his wife babysits children in the front driveway, and he parks his trailer for work (appliance installer) on his lawn overnight.

I'm expecting a jesus toilet shrine to pop up in the flowerbed any week now. Heck, with the cars they got and the rap booming from them, I expect them to be drug dealers or something.

These people are so dang low class trailer park, they don't even know it.

So I see a lack of respect for where he is, and for the level of quality we actually have. Ain't like we expect manicured lawns. Just keep the music down and the lawn clear.

 

[Kramodlog]

I can understand the level of music, but the lawn is really none of your business. Cut or uncut, it really has no impact on your quality life.

And rap music = drug dealer? That kind of stereotype, really?

 

[Janx]

I can understand the level of music, but the lawn is really none of your business. Cut or uncut, it really has no impact on your quality life.

And rap music = drug dealer? That kind of stereotype, really?

It's against the deed restrictions to have the grass too long, or to park vehicles on the lawn (like trailers). Our neighborhood never had strong enforcement anyway, but its gotten more lax. The lawn police don't seem to send out nasty grams anymore. The result is, it looks like crap. And when neighbors are trying to sell their house, it makes potential buyers think our neighborhood is fricking GunsPoint (where every other persons IS a drug dealer or gang member).

the way the guy parks it also means he is driving over the curb for his house and his neighbors (and part of their lawn), so he is also at actual risk of causing damage to stuff he don't own.


And yeah, white guy, listening to rap at high volume, spends all his money on his ride, missing teeth = ghetto = drug dealer stereotype. I doubt he actually is a drug dealer, but he is likely clueless as to the stereotype he portrays.

There is a balance between "it's my property I can do whatever I want" and "everybody's house has to conform to exacting standards"

Since this guy doesn't even OWN the property, he has fewer rights than anybody in the whole dispute.

I am all for cutting out the sub-division approval board for color of paint, siding, and all that crap. But that's under the expectation that people maintain a reasonable minimal appearance of quality (like mowing the lawn, not leaving actual garbage on the lawn, and not parking ginormous trailers that cause accidents around them or lawn damage to others).

 

[WayneLigon]

Oh, the marriage fell apart, no question. But that's only part of the equation.

It might be all that's needed. Depression is a major factor in a lot of things like this, because it eats at your self respect. When you have no self-respect, it's almost impossible to have respect for anything else, including stuff that belongs to other people.

This dovetails into depression's favorite cousin, despair. Once things get so bad (and that level is different for everyone), you stop bothering because you see no way the situation will ever be fixed.

Or it could be simple petulance mixed with those. Maybe his wife did all those tidy-up things and without her to do them, on some level he refuses to because he thinks if it gets left long enough, she'll come back to do them. Rationality be damned.

He probably does need some minor therapy, especially if the kids are toddlers and he's having to do all that craziness at the same time.

That would be if the cleaning and such was the only thing. The thing with the window and the door, though? That puts you right back on 'This place isn't mine, so fuggit' territory.

Maybe three sight inspections a year along with the annual close-in inspection.

 

[Kramodlog]

And yeah, white guy,

What does my ethnicity have do with the stereotype you mentioned?

listening to rap at high volume, spends all his money on his ride, missing teeth

Seems like rednecks to me.

There is a balance between "it's my property I can do whatever I want" and "everybody's house has to conform to exacting standards"

Since this guy doesn't even OWN the property, he has fewer rights than anybody in the whole dispute.

I am all for cutting out the sub-division approval board for color of paint, siding, and all that crap. But that's under the expectation that people maintain a reasonable minimal appearance of quality (like mowing the lawn, not leaving actual garbage on the lawn, and not parking ginormous trailers that cause accidents around them or lawn damage to others).

Appearances are relative. I think an uncut lawn gives a more rural aspect that suburbia desperately needs. I'm not sure why other people should have a say on the appearance of my private property or what I store on/in it as long as it does not pause any danger.