Comfort withcross gender characters based on your gender

[ccs]

While GMing (for about 35 years...) I have the impression that, the more time passes, the more players are comfortable with roleplaying characters of their opposite gender... and they roleplay them well, independently from their player gender.

What? The older the player gets the more real life XP they have to draw on & this somehow helps them? Shocking!

 

[redrick]

What? The older the player gets the more real life XP they have to draw on & this somehow helps them? Shocking!

My experience is that millennials feel very comfortable role playing characters whose gender does not match their own, and seem to navigate the "challenge" or lack thereof quite well.

 

[ccs]

Odd, when you think about it, that a person might be better able to properly portray an alien than a girl, but such is life.

Well, you'll get a lot less crap playing an alien....

 

[ccs]

Err, no. I don't have any problem with players who are not good at cross-gender play but who really try to and who love playing as someone else. I'd gladly help them to avoid the most basic mistakes.

What I do mean is players who *only* play the opposite gender to have an imaginary, sexy doll with no personality at all and who only exists to imaginarily look hot, have sex (optional, depending on the age of the player) and maybe kill some monsters.

That's what I meant with "sexy lamp". Okay, it is a sexy robot lamp with a sword, but hey, basic principle.

What if I make a character of the same gender as mine with those exact traits?

 

[Thomas Bowman]

Err, no. I don't have any problem with players who are not good at cross-gender play but who really try to and who love playing as someone else. I'd gladly help them to avoid the most basic mistakes.

What I do mean is players who *only* play the opposite gender to have an imaginary, sexy doll with no personality at all and who only exists to imaginarily look hot, have sex (optional, depending on the age of the player) and maybe kill some monsters.

That's what I meant with "sexy lamp". Okay, it is a sexy robot lamp with a sword, but hey, basic principle.

I would think just the opposite, if I was playing a female character, I think she would mostly be interested in is killing monsters and collecting treasure, maybe building a kingdom, and raising an army at high level. I think that after a while, I would just forget the shape of my character, and seek to make her the most powerful character that I can as a player. As for romance, if I were to do that realistically it would be with a man, as most women would be romantically inclined with men, and if she was a lesbian, well I would just forget that she is a woman and play her as a man, but what would be the point of that? You see I myself am not attracted to other men, but most women are, and it is that part that I would find it hard to get right, either I might overcompensate and make her overly interested in the opposite gender, or I would make her only interested in fighting and in accumulating treasure. Most dungeons a D&D character would go through don't involve having sex or romantic interests. I feel that real women and girls are the most qualified to play female characters, because it is in their nature. Trouble is, most women I know aren't into playing role playing games, so if their are any female characters to play, then male players end up playing them, they are second best to a woman playing them in my opinion.

It is a fantasy role playing game, now lets imagine a realistic reaction to an unrealistic situation. Say for instance I were playing a male fighter, and after drinking the wrong potion, he was knocked unconscious and woke up as a beautiful female character, still a fighter, but about 6 inches shorter, a bit thinner.

The first problem, from a practical standpoint is that my armor no longer fits, it is too big on me, what am I going to do about that? Not only that my undergarments are also a few sizes too big. I look down at my new body and perhaps I scream, and the moment that high pitched voice comes out of my throat, I regret it. I start taking off my armor, and I tighten various fittings on my undergarments, and I cover up various body parts with the loose clothing I have available, take my sack of coins, and exit the dungeon. I put a hood over my head and I shuffle to the nearest town to purchase new clothes and equipment, dragging my ill-fitting armor behind me.

My first encounter is with the town guard who wants to know who I am and what is my business in town. The town guard is male, and I look down at myself and see a fetching 20 something woman, and lets say my character's name was Derek, I try to think of an answer for him. One possible answer is I could say my name is Derek and I was magically transformed into a woman, but I'm not sure I could live that down, and I do not want to draw any unnecessary male attention to myself, So I think of a boring unremarkable female name so I tell him my name is Susan, and that I am looking to buy some clothes, and I make up some story about a fire and how all of my clothes went up in flames, so I need to buy some replacements. The town guard lets me in. I hobble down the street because my male boots are too big and I got blisters on my heels and toes. I remove my boots and start walking around bare foot. unfortunately the streets are not well suited for walking around barefoot on, as their is horse dung in many places, some of the rocks are sharp, and my brand new female feet are a bit soft and uncalloused. I try to avoid looking at any men, and I keep my head down trying to avoid any eye contact, not only to avoid any unwanted attention, but to keep any hormones within me from stirring any feelings, as I don't want this new identity, I did not choose it, and I would be dreadfully fearful of any emotions of sexual attractions that might be stirring within me. therefore I try not to look at anyone, and I shuffle into a shop in my bare feet, I tell the clothier that I need some new clothes, nothing too fancy, just practical.

I put on some clothes, and the female shape of my body is revealed, so I try some baggier clothes, The proprietor says he thinks that outfit is too large for me, and if I want it adjusted. I say yes, and he starts measuring me. I suck in my breath and close my eyes. Hormones, those darn hormones, I slap myself across the face just to distract myself, after about half an hour the proprietor comes back with the adjusted outfit and asks me to try it on. It fits loosely. I pay the man, and I walk out the door, now for some boots...

 

[Lylandra]

What if I make a character of the same gender as mine with those exact traits?

Good question! To be honest, I've never seen someone playing a male character who was playing a sexy doll that was clearly meant as imaginary turn-on first and foremost. Or who was solely portraying toxic stereotypes. I guess I'd have a harder time spotting these stereotypes as well.

Now I guess I'd find them obnoxious, but slightly less troubling. Because 1) there is a difference whether you are playing a character matching your own characteristic and 2) unless the player is homosexual, the character is most likely not created and played to be an imaginary sexy doll *for the player* but rather as an opportunity to heavily flirt around with NPCs or other PCs. One is more objectifying than the other.

 

[Lylandra]

I would think just the opposite, if I was playing a female character, I think she would mostly be interested in is killing monsters and collecting treasure, maybe building a kingdom, and raising an army at high level. I think that after a while, I would just forget the shape of my character, and seek to make her the most powerful character that I can as a player. As for romance, if I were to do that realistically it would be with a man, as most women would be romantically inclined with men, and if she was a lesbian, well I would just forget that she is a woman and play her as a man, but what would be the point of that? You see I myself am not attracted to other men, but most women are, and it is that part that I would find it hard to get right, either I might overcompensate and make her overly interested in the opposite gender, or I would make her only interested in fighting and in accumulating treasure. Most dungeons a D&D character would go through don't involve having sex or romantic interests. I feel that real women and girls are the most qualified to play female characters, because it is in their nature. Trouble is, most women I know aren't into playing role playing games, so if their are any female characters to play, then male players end up playing them, they are second best to a woman playing them in my opinion.

It is a fantasy role playing game, now lets imagine a realistic reaction to an unrealistic situation. Say for instance I were playing a male fighter, and after drinking the wrong potion, he was knocked unconscious and woke up as a beautiful female character, still a fighter, but about 6 inches shorter, a bit thinner.
-snip, long story -

That's fine. There are people with different opinions in this thread, but your idea sounds like a standard adventuring woman who doesn't have much interest in carousing or romance.

If you don't feel comfortable playing romance with a cross-gendered character, no problem. Especially if you're not used to cross-gendered characters. As a guideline, if you were trying to portray a hetero woman, I'd say think about what kind of guys or what kind of behavior would be attractive to her. That might depend on her personality, but also her culture and background. (currently playing a character who stems from a culture that practices polyandry, so it can get weird)

For your story, now this is something that might happen (hello 2e girdle!), and parts of it aren't too far off. Truth is, a magical sex change doesn't automatically change your sexual orientation. Hormones don't trigger attraction, but they can amplify any message the brain is shooting off when you're looking at someone. And neither would most hetero women feel attraction towards 80-95% of all men out there.

Your man-turned-woman fighter wouldn't know about this, so having him fear to feel attraction towards someone he's usually not interested in isn't too far off I guess. Also, no one runs around barefoot with blisters You can just bandage your feet with these masses of excess cloth.

Also... "Sorry sir, I'm actually a guy who drank the wrong potion" sounds like quite an easy way to stop unwanted advances. Mhm...

 

[TheSword]

I play female characters probably 50% of the time. Mainly inspired by classic tropes, I have had a lot of fun playing variants of an Aes Sedai style character, using Druid, Oracle of Flame, and Wizard at various times over the years. All to great success. I’m currently playing an elven swashbuckling fighter/rogue and loving it.

I don’t see that playing a female character means you need to have romance elements to your characters storyline (any more so than a male character) nor do I feel a burning desire to work maternal instinct into the character. I play them for fun and make sure they contribute to the party.

 

[Bagpuss]

Good question! To be honest, I've never seen someone playing a male character who was playing a sexy doll that was clearly meant as imaginary turn-on first and foremost. Or who was solely portraying toxic stereotypes. I guess I'd have a harder time spotting these stereotypes as well.

You've never seen a Conan or Bond like character?

Now I guess I'd find them obnoxious, but slightly less troubling. Because 1) there is a difference whether you are playing a character matching your own characteristic and 2) unless the player is homosexual, the character is most likely not created and played to be an imaginary sexy doll *for the player* but rather as an opportunity to heavily flirt around with NPCs or other PCs. One is more objectifying than the other.

Not getting this whole "imaginary sexy doll" idea. Since the player doesn't get to have sex with his own character, even imaginary sex. At worst he'll be having sex with imaginary NPCs while imagining himself in the body of a female character.

I'm trying to understand how playing a female character as a male would ever work as a sexy doll idea?

 

[Lanefan]

I've been pondering a question along these lines, for weeks now, following discussions on EN World, in other threads before this one, mainly the epic thread on harassment, with a side of MToF. I see a LOT of EN World participants who default to the "truth emerges from no-holds-barred debate" model, some relative of the adversarial system of plaintiff and defendant, without even considering techniques such as "could you provide an example or two?" or "how are you using that word?" or "why is that important to you"?.

I'm not sure it's rooted in the plaintiff/defendant adversariality (is that a word?) where there's an aggressor and a defender, but more in the parliamentary adversariality where there's two or more vaguely-equal sides squaring off.

If the basics of human decency are so innately universal and obvious...

...then why do so many nations, and states/provinces within nations, have different laws? Why are so many of them STILL revising their legal codes and/or judicial precedents? Why do people drive on the right side of the road in some places, and the left side of the roads in others - isn't it *obvious* which one is correct?

The basics are covered by the laws of pretty much all nations. It's the refinements that get argued over; along with how those basic laws are or are not always fairly and evenly applied or seen/perceived to be fairly and evenly applied - see the recent harrassment threads for examples both good and bad.

Which side of the road to drive on is a refinement on top of the the basic (and universal) common sense bit that says all the cars going in the same direction will be on the same side of the road.

I lack your confidence in the universality of behavioral norms among players.

There's a vague universality, I think, to expected norms of behavior among players. The variance - and it's a wide one - comes in how rigidly those expectations are accepted/adhered to/enforced.

Lan-"the cynic in me says we'd all be better off if the western world's legal system hadn't been built by - and for the benefit of - lawyers"-efan