The Decidedly Un-Friendly Guide to Nicholaus Dennoncourt
((Because I couldn't resist and I would hope his player knows that he is loved and that I dont' mean a word of it. Jack on the other hand...
))
Nich? Oh, Nich's fine. A great guy. Of course, you might find that you affection for him grows in direct proportion to how much you happen to like, say...snakes. If you happen to have a fondness for the wriggly little, rock-dwelling beasties, you two should get along just fine.
I suppose the worst that can be said about Nich is that he's a vampire. No, wait. That's a lie. I'm pretty sure it gets steadily worse from there. You see, it's not enough that he's a soulless, blood-sucking leech whose very existance depends on the deaths of countless others. No, then he has to go out and be insufferably -smug- about it. You know what I'm talking about. That expression that just makes you want to go up and punch it. That doesn't make him too different from other vampires, I suppose. On my life...I will hand a gold piece to the first person who can come up to me and prove that they've seen two vampires together, each with likely close to a millenia under their belt, who do anything other than loaf around and melodramatically threaten each other. Not that I'm complaining about that. Please, if that's what you ancient horrors want to do with your time, be my guest. I'll even scare up a few rats for you to suck on so you don't have to get up from your easy chairs.
And yes, Nich is unendingly sweet. -Unbelievably- thoughtful. It helps, of course, if you happen to be an attractive woman. He will bend over backward so far you'll be surprised that he ever went through rigor mortis. If you do not fall in the 'attractive female' category, however, you may be slightly out of luck. He'll certainly be civil, of course. He'll even go so far as to refrain from visibly groping your wife right in front of you. Well. Most of the time. You see, he can't really be blamed if he chats up a lovely lady or two that might be quite obviously spoken for. After all, he's obviously so much more charming, more clever, and more of a man than you are...well, can you really deny your woman the honor of being schmoozed over by such a class act? Watch gentleman. Take notes. Becaue if you dont' happen to feel much like playing along, you'll likely find yourself on the recieving end of doe-eyed crocodile tears the likes of which you wouldn't -believe-.
"I'd be your friend, Jack. You just aren't willing to look past the fact that I'm a stinking, bloodsucking husk who had the audacity to put his fangs to the better half of your soul to save what passes for his life. Woe is I. I'm certain it has nothing to do with the fact that you'd be a perfectly amiable person were I not constantly trying to verbally get into your wife's drawers!"
Pfff!
((Because I couldn't resist and I would hope his player knows that he is loved and that I dont' mean a word of it. Jack on the other hand...
))Nich? Oh, Nich's fine. A great guy. Of course, you might find that you affection for him grows in direct proportion to how much you happen to like, say...snakes. If you happen to have a fondness for the wriggly little, rock-dwelling beasties, you two should get along just fine.
I suppose the worst that can be said about Nich is that he's a vampire. No, wait. That's a lie. I'm pretty sure it gets steadily worse from there. You see, it's not enough that he's a soulless, blood-sucking leech whose very existance depends on the deaths of countless others. No, then he has to go out and be insufferably -smug- about it. You know what I'm talking about. That expression that just makes you want to go up and punch it. That doesn't make him too different from other vampires, I suppose. On my life...I will hand a gold piece to the first person who can come up to me and prove that they've seen two vampires together, each with likely close to a millenia under their belt, who do anything other than loaf around and melodramatically threaten each other. Not that I'm complaining about that. Please, if that's what you ancient horrors want to do with your time, be my guest. I'll even scare up a few rats for you to suck on so you don't have to get up from your easy chairs.
And yes, Nich is unendingly sweet. -Unbelievably- thoughtful. It helps, of course, if you happen to be an attractive woman. He will bend over backward so far you'll be surprised that he ever went through rigor mortis. If you do not fall in the 'attractive female' category, however, you may be slightly out of luck. He'll certainly be civil, of course. He'll even go so far as to refrain from visibly groping your wife right in front of you. Well. Most of the time. You see, he can't really be blamed if he chats up a lovely lady or two that might be quite obviously spoken for. After all, he's obviously so much more charming, more clever, and more of a man than you are...well, can you really deny your woman the honor of being schmoozed over by such a class act? Watch gentleman. Take notes. Becaue if you dont' happen to feel much like playing along, you'll likely find yourself on the recieving end of doe-eyed crocodile tears the likes of which you wouldn't -believe-.
"I'd be your friend, Jack. You just aren't willing to look past the fact that I'm a stinking, bloodsucking husk who had the audacity to put his fangs to the better half of your soul to save what passes for his life. Woe is I. I'm certain it has nothing to do with the fact that you'd be a perfectly amiable person were I not constantly trying to verbally get into your wife's drawers!"
Pfff!
