Gamer Grrls

[Chaos_Kitten]

How do they show this expectation? I just can't picture anyone honestly saying, "Hey, why aren't you playing a sexed sorcereress or chainmail fighter chick?"

Do they always just "assume" your character is one of the above and act like such? Or is it something direct and verbal? Have any funny quotes to share?

I have no real advice on the matter though. One thought I had was that, maybe, you "should" tone down your characters if they are surprising everyone (that is, if the group in general is really inept about designing effective characters and yours is outshinning everyone else).

Actually I'm just playing an avariel fighter/ranger in a Forgotten Realms campaign. She had been curious about the world beyond her sheltered home and it works out since avariel are making more contact with the world at large.

She has leather armor but only very rarely wears it. She feels it impedes her ability to fly. She also wears light, lose clothing that also won't impede her ability to fly. It's one of the most important things to her.

She does have a charisma of fourteen. I wouldn't of bothered of putting it there if I didn't have a backstory reason behind it. She's incredibly short, that bothers her a lot and so she feels like she needs to "act" taller. So that means putting lots of ranks into intimidate. I also have a couple in diplomacy, but just because she is a winged elf after all and that stuns people a bit.

Out of game I've been told that, "Female characters should always dress sexy in games. It's what they do. It's entertaining for the rest of us". The first sessions they were also incredibly surprised I was actually effective and knew what I was doing in battle. They actually asked who wrote my character for me. I felt so offended. Also in game they feel this overwhelming need to revealing clothes in her bag. I wouldn't mind if it was just a funny part of the roleplaying dynamic of the group, but it feels like more than that with the out of game vibe.

I have been sticking with it and trying to make them see the errors of their ways. They are all college age guys and I thought they would know better, but I guess you do meet all types. Maybe one day the angelic chorus will sing and they will see the light. I'll wish upon a whole constellation that that day comes soon.

 

[Thanee]

Just tell them, that this behaviour offends you, and you will stop playing with them, if they cannot put it to rest and just see you at an equal level.

Bye
Thanee

 

[Piratecat]

Out of game I've been told that, "Female characters should always dress sexy in games. It's what they do. It's entertaining for the rest of us".

The technical name for this sort of behavior is "insensitive jackass." I'd recommend not being shy about min-maxing her for combat; it's hard to treat a person's character poorly when their PC can beat up your PC.

 

[Calico_Jack73]

Out of game I've been told that, "Female characters should always dress sexy in games. It's what they do. It's entertaining for the rest of us". The first sessions they were also incredibly surprised I was actually effective and knew what I was doing in battle. They actually asked who wrote my character for me. I felt so offended. Also in game they feel this overwhelming need to revealing clothes in her bag. I wouldn't mind if it was just a funny part of the roleplaying dynamic of the group, but it feels like more than that with the out of game vibe.

You REALLY need to leave that group. They sound VERY immature and need to do some growing up before you play with them again. You shouldn't have to tolerate that behavior. Is the DM involved with this behavior? If not then you could ask for the DM's help... XP penalties when those kind of remarks are made would work wonders. If the DM IS involved then all you can really do is leave and find a more female-friendly group.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I've had my share of female gamers simply playing or overplaying the stereotypes, kissing up (or trying to kiss up to) the GM like they need their hands held too. I think the problem with vaguely waving at what seems like to perhaps be a problem with the guys sometimes has it's root occassionally with the females themselves. That's not saying that I haven't played with excellent female players, just that for every wonderful player of ANY gender I've had I've had a couple of placeholders and just plain kick them to the door sorts...and you can't do that haphazardly with a lot of female gamers without risking sounding sexist or ticking off the below-the-belt-boys who are simply excited without merit that one of their fellow gamers wears a bra. I'd be a lot happier if more female gamers didn't resort to baby talk and cleavage-chick tricks at the table because it would make it a whole lot more about the game and not hormones.

I currently have only one woman in my gaming group (at one time I had three, but two moved away and my wife wasn't interested in my current campaign). The woman I have in my group now does the whole kissing up, batting eyelashes, flirting, bringing gifts and treats for me and my son, even sitting on my lap (or trying to). She's always sending me notes asking me to give her character special treatment, etc. She's a very attractive young woman, and as a I guy, I love the attention. BUT...she's had more characters die than any player I've ever had. I told her to "Keep bringin' those rice krispy treats, honey, but it ain't gonna work. Like everyone else, you have to earn those points the old fashioned gaming way. Hack, slash, loot, and run away when you have to." She pouts a lot....lol

 

[HiLiphNY]

Just chiming in. . .I'm the DM of a group with five players, two of whom are female. It's a great mix, and I think the group counts itself lucky. My wife ends up listening in on parts of the game, so al in all, it's a balanced and friendly environment.

 

[Ibram]

Though my group is currently all male we have had female players in the past (usualy the gf of a player). all but one had never RPed before, but after a few games they became good players. Two played Elven Druids, one was a Human Paladin and one was a human fighter. the best was the Human Paladin, she realy got into her character, the others never realy got into it but they still played along.

the subject of having them dress sexy never came up, or having them act sexy.

Once though while the party was inprisoned the female Paladin was offered "something" through the bars of her cell by a male guard. She griped the "something" tightly and pulled back until the guard gave her the keys to the cell.

 

[Mystery Man]

Will all enworld gamer grrls between the ages of 18-25 please post pictures of yourselves?

thanks.

 

[Cerubus Dark]

Will all enworld gamer grrls between the ages of 18-25 please post pictures of yourselves?

thanks.

lol, only those who are single need apply.

But really, if a guy acted like that in my games I would shoot him. As a guy, and DM I am lucky to have two female gamers in my group (both married, nuts out of luck there!) they are better players than the guys in my group. They tend to have better ideas (read: don't run in and attack the dragon head on)

tell them to grow the hell up and find a new group.

 

[maddman75]

Will all enworld gamer grrls between the ages of 18-25 please post pictures of yourselves?

thanks.

Yeah, the stalkers have forgotten who they are supposed to be drooling after.

My advice - tell them to cut the crap or quit the group. Life is to short to play crappy RPGs. Find a new group, or start your own. Or respond to sexual comments with intense character-on-character violence. If you're as good at min/maxing as you claim this should be amusing. At least in a chaotic sort of way. It won't solve the problem and you'll likely end up leaving the group anyway, but it could be cathartic.