Gamer Grrls
This might get a tad long. It's basically my history with female gamers. I won't pull any punches to look good for the ladies. I'll come right out and admit my biases against female gamers (sorta).
Okay, I admit it ... The only female gamers I knew for the first 5 years of my gaming career were either significant others with no real interest other than doing something with their boyfriend, or close relatives in 'family games' who played with their cousins or whatever just because it was something to do with the family. They never put in the effort and I definitely became biased against them as they usually made it impossible to really get into character for any length of time. Hence I preferred not to play with girls as a teenager (and I wonder why I didn't date more).
Then I met some serious female gamers, and my opinion changed for a while. Unfortunately I made the decision to get romantically involved with one such gamer. We had a wonderful, and totally dysfunctional, 6 week romance that ended in a horrible breakup and me basically getting tossed from my gaming group (as she wasn't comfortable attending the same games, and the GM was more interested in scoring with her than gaming with me). So ... I got a little biased again.
A couple of years ago one of my players asked if his long time girlfriend could get into the game. She wanted to see what it was that he liked about role playing. I wasn't very optimistic about it, but I agreed to let her in. The guy in question is typically the most involved role player in my group (collecting books and actively learning rules), and typically plays some of the most well-rounded and interesting characters at the table. Unfortunately that has changed for him of late. His girlfriend's gritty, yet wholly feminine, character stole the show in the last campaign I ran. And her character in my current campaign is threatening to do the same. It seems he has a little friendly competition. (Actually, I know that he is quite proud of her for doing so well in the hobby. I think they genuinely enjoy sharing the experience.)
Playing a character, and thinking like that character, seems to be second nature for her. She has absolutely no desire to really learn the rules of the game in depth, although she gets the basics of "roll this die and add this modifier". And that's okay. I don't mind doing the math for my players (male and female), especially when they keep me entertained with such great character portrayals.
My bias is gone. This one girl, who most likely gets into character better than I ever have, has single handedly destroyed virtually every juvenile misconception and fear I had about female gamers in the past. I can't thank her enough for that.
Okay, I admit it ... The only female gamers I knew for the first 5 years of my gaming career were either significant others with no real interest other than doing something with their boyfriend, or close relatives in 'family games' who played with their cousins or whatever just because it was something to do with the family. They never put in the effort and I definitely became biased against them as they usually made it impossible to really get into character for any length of time. Hence I preferred not to play with girls as a teenager (and I wonder why I didn't date more).
Then I met some serious female gamers, and my opinion changed for a while. Unfortunately I made the decision to get romantically involved with one such gamer. We had a wonderful, and totally dysfunctional, 6 week romance that ended in a horrible breakup and me basically getting tossed from my gaming group (as she wasn't comfortable attending the same games, and the GM was more interested in scoring with her than gaming with me). So ... I got a little biased again.
A couple of years ago one of my players asked if his long time girlfriend could get into the game. She wanted to see what it was that he liked about role playing. I wasn't very optimistic about it, but I agreed to let her in. The guy in question is typically the most involved role player in my group (collecting books and actively learning rules), and typically plays some of the most well-rounded and interesting characters at the table. Unfortunately that has changed for him of late. His girlfriend's gritty, yet wholly feminine, character stole the show in the last campaign I ran. And her character in my current campaign is threatening to do the same. It seems he has a little friendly competition. (Actually, I know that he is quite proud of her for doing so well in the hobby. I think they genuinely enjoy sharing the experience.)
Playing a character, and thinking like that character, seems to be second nature for her. She has absolutely no desire to really learn the rules of the game in depth, although she gets the basics of "roll this die and add this modifier". And that's okay. I don't mind doing the math for my players (male and female), especially when they keep me entertained with such great character portrayals.
My bias is gone. This one girl, who most likely gets into character better than I ever have, has single handedly destroyed virtually every juvenile misconception and fear I had about female gamers in the past. I can't thank her enough for that.
SpottyJungleCat
First Post
I'd like to put in the point of veiw of the opposite side of the fence. For as long as i can remember we have had girl and boy gamers in and out of our games on a regular basis. Though most are fantastic to game with I should point out the exceptions to explain the while we are the majority the sexism coming from the female gamer side is alive and well.
One girl I know was abusive to a player (male) who opted to play a female character, she (this is even before starting the campaign) berated him as not being capable of understanding the female mindset and when I allowed it she called him severally derogative (owing to his sexuality and gender) names and boy did i cop some abuse for letting the so called "abberation" happen. there was no complaints from the other gamer grrl in the group and the boys.
Another incident occured while i was playing, a friend invited his girlfriend along to the group and she proceeded to play. No problems there and all was fine for a few weeks of once a week gaming. The 'girlfriend' was doing some cool chractrer gaming and getting quite involved. Then it started that she would flirt with the (IMHO - Weak Minded) DM and start things going her own way. This caused problems not only for us, but the player whose girlfriend she was supposed to be was becoming noticably jealous. We had a grrl to grrl chat about the whole situation and after she ran off with the DM. My friend was crushed and we lost a good DM.
One girl I know was abusive to a player (male) who opted to play a female character, she (this is even before starting the campaign) berated him as not being capable of understanding the female mindset and when I allowed it she called him severally derogative (owing to his sexuality and gender) names and boy did i cop some abuse for letting the so called "abberation" happen. there was no complaints from the other gamer grrl in the group and the boys.
Another incident occured while i was playing, a friend invited his girlfriend along to the group and she proceeded to play. No problems there and all was fine for a few weeks of once a week gaming. The 'girlfriend' was doing some cool chractrer gaming and getting quite involved. Then it started that she would flirt with the (IMHO - Weak Minded) DM and start things going her own way. This caused problems not only for us, but the player whose girlfriend she was supposed to be was becoming noticably jealous. We had a grrl to grrl chat about the whole situation and after she ran off with the DM. My friend was crushed and we lost a good DM.
Calico_Jack73
First Post
Sounds like bad players. I love the female player in my group (okay, love may be too strong a word... she's married to one of my other players) because she routinely comes up with the most creative ideas for her character compared to the rest. She is also one of my best role players... she seems to thrive during the non-combat periods when most of my male players start to nod off. Where in Virginia are you? You can join my group any day.
ironmani
First Post
Bah, I never get bored reading other peoples posts. But I think you answered your own question right there thou. Its only some of the people you have delt with. These type of males usally are the ones who play nypho female characters. I had a guy I gamed with whom was playing a female half elf ranger. He showed us his pic for her. Uh...dude, bowstrings dont count as clothing. He was constantly trying to use his beauty the same way a cehap town whore does.Chaos_Kitten said:Don't get me wrong. I'm not up on my soapbox glaring at the male population as a whole. I've just had some very frustrating experiences of this nature. I just wonder if anyone else has and just how they dealt with it.
Thanks for seeing this through and not getting horribly bored with my rambling.
Our DM finally told him that they hate elves in this part of the world. He settled down after that. ::: shakes head ::: Its guys like that who chase the good female gamers, such as your self, away from the game.... LurkerFreak
First Post
Make sure they are all playing characters with the same gender as the player. Then as the guys if they are all running around bear chested and wearing a loin cloth. If they say "No", give them the same misguided treatment they have given you.
Snoweel
First Post
Chaos_Kitten said:
LOOLOLOL!!!1!!
YUO SOUND LIKE TEH BIGGEST MUNCHKIN EVAR LOLOLOL !EVERBODY NOWS MONKYE GRIP IS BROKEN AND SAVAGE SPESES TEMPLATE ARE FOR POWARGAMERS YOU PROLLY DO'NT NO ANYTHINK ABOUT ROLEPLAYIG YUO JUST HACK N SLACH LOL
AND ANYWAY GIRL'S SHOULD ONLY PLAY CLERICS AND SORCERS WHO EVER HERD OF A WOMEN WHO WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGT A ORC ANYWAY LOL
Hypersmurf
Moderatarrrrh...
Snoweel said:
Do behave, hmm?
-Hyp.
(Moderator)
Piratecat
Sesquipedalian
This problem isn't endemic to the game; I think you just need to get your players used to what women act like in the real world. The game I played in last night has a female DM, 3 male and 5 female players. If anyone expected a PC to act like a sexpot, they'd be laughed away from the gaming table.
