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How to tell someone not to come back.
- Thread starter Summer-Knight925
- Start date
Deuce Traveler
Adventurer
While you're out, I'll take a woman, too. Attractive, age 21-45ish.
yeah, that's just a good general policy.
In 15 years of gaming I can count the number of gamers I've had to kick on one hand. But in those circumstances it was extreme, ie hitting on another players wife IRL, truly odious personal habits, etc.
Most of time time with something like
a. staying off the internet.
I engage them more. some peoples attention spans are different then others. I've found something as simple as often turning to a player and saying "so what does your character think about that? Anything to say?" often brings players attention around and keeps them focused. IMO its also just good GM'ing. Some people are more outgoing then others and thus more likely to speak up and become involved. But since we're there to tell a story about CHARACTERS and not the PLAYERS giving some players an extra bit of attention and nudge now and then can lead very satisfying results.
a-1.
Dont assume because someone is an experienced role player that they are vocal about interacting. Sometimes this is not the case and very good gamers can wind up being lost because you didnt reach out to them sometimes.
a-2.
Some people are not comfortable talking over others. If you have several very vocal players who interact alot then sometimes less vocal players can be left by the wayside because they arent jumping in. The bigger the group the more likely this is to happen.
B. Takes too long.
Maybe he just doesnt know the rules or his character that well? Its a GM's job to teach the game. Try sitting him down after a session and going over a few instances where it took him a while to decide and see if clarifying a few rules doesnt help.
B-1.
Many people who dont know the rules dont want to look stupid in front of a table full of people who do know the rules.
Always remember this. Asking someone in front of the whole group if they get it usually doesnt help. The people who need help wont say so right after someone else said they get it fine. They dont want to look dumb.
Occassionaly run a 2 minute refresher before a session, bringing up options that players arent using.
And if someone seems to be having trouble talk to them alone about it.
Most of time time with something like
a. staying off the internet.
I engage them more. some peoples attention spans are different then others. I've found something as simple as often turning to a player and saying "so what does your character think about that? Anything to say?" often brings players attention around and keeps them focused. IMO its also just good GM'ing. Some people are more outgoing then others and thus more likely to speak up and become involved. But since we're there to tell a story about CHARACTERS and not the PLAYERS giving some players an extra bit of attention and nudge now and then can lead very satisfying results.
a-1.
Dont assume because someone is an experienced role player that they are vocal about interacting. Sometimes this is not the case and very good gamers can wind up being lost because you didnt reach out to them sometimes.
a-2.
Some people are not comfortable talking over others. If you have several very vocal players who interact alot then sometimes less vocal players can be left by the wayside because they arent jumping in. The bigger the group the more likely this is to happen.
B. Takes too long.
Maybe he just doesnt know the rules or his character that well? Its a GM's job to teach the game. Try sitting him down after a session and going over a few instances where it took him a while to decide and see if clarifying a few rules doesnt help.
B-1.
Many people who dont know the rules dont want to look stupid in front of a table full of people who do know the rules.
Always remember this. Asking someone in front of the whole group if they get it usually doesnt help. The people who need help wont say so right after someone else said they get it fine. They dont want to look dumb.
Occassionaly run a 2 minute refresher before a session, bringing up options that players arent using.
And if someone seems to be having trouble talk to them alone about it.
Maul
Explorer
Every time I have had to boot someone it was never pretty.
Most times because they have made friends with other people in the group so when they get the boot, they start their own game and then invite the current players to their place to play.
It helps if its a UNANIMOUS decision to send that cruddy player "the way of the dinosaur".
Its just an awkward scenario all the way around.
Most times because they have made friends with other people in the group so when they get the boot, they start their own game and then invite the current players to their place to play.
It helps if its a UNANIMOUS decision to send that cruddy player "the way of the dinosaur".
Its just an awkward scenario all the way around.
Unfortunately, I've been in the situation of dis-inviting several people over the past few years--I've seen everything from terrible hygiene issues to playing WoW on the laptop at the table to blatant/creepy sexual advances. Even in groups where I'm not the GM, I usually get the task because I don't have a problem telling people the way it is.
When it gets to the point that a player is on the fence, I'll chat with that player (either in person or email, doesn't seem to matter). I'll ask questions about the undesirable behavior and ask why they did it--if they're being a jerk, they know it. The typical response is an apology, a mending of the ways, and the issue is never a problem again.
On the other hand... If they get defensive or jump into an obviously rehearsed diatribe (i.e., they either don't see a problem or have no intention to change the behavior), I'll bring the situation before the other players and we decide whether or not to keep them. Then it's as simple as, "Hey Bob, the group has talked about it and it's not cool. We're all here to have fun, but this behavior is unacceptable. We're not playing with you next week. Good luck finding a group that's a fit for you!"
To me, it's very important to phrase it so that it's clear that you are making a decision to not play with the offending party based on the behavior. Some people just have a disconnect between cause and effect. The five geek social fallacies are applicable here.
When it gets to the point that a player is on the fence, I'll chat with that player (either in person or email, doesn't seem to matter). I'll ask questions about the undesirable behavior and ask why they did it--if they're being a jerk, they know it. The typical response is an apology, a mending of the ways, and the issue is never a problem again.
On the other hand... If they get defensive or jump into an obviously rehearsed diatribe (i.e., they either don't see a problem or have no intention to change the behavior), I'll bring the situation before the other players and we decide whether or not to keep them. Then it's as simple as, "Hey Bob, the group has talked about it and it's not cool. We're all here to have fun, but this behavior is unacceptable. We're not playing with you next week. Good luck finding a group that's a fit for you!"
To me, it's very important to phrase it so that it's clear that you are making a decision to not play with the offending party based on the behavior. Some people just have a disconnect between cause and effect. The five geek social fallacies are applicable here.
