Wulf Ratbane
Adventurer
ROUND ONE, MATCH FOUR JUDGEMENT (Nemmerle vs Mythago)
Excessive mucus is too difficult an ingredient for Round One?
If I’d simply said, “A plague” or “A curse” or “An uncomfortable disease,” would that have made things easier? I certainly didn’t expect this ingredient to throw a wrench into anyone’s entry—though of course, as we all know, there’s always got to be ONE ingredient that does that. I had a feeling that, even if this ingredient didn’t end up being the spoiler, it was bound to stick out like a sore thumb. As a player, I’d probably have been in the same boat—grab those other five ingredients and run, yes—but what about the excessive mucus?
So here comes nemm’s entry, humming along at a nice pace not seen since the heyday of Tolstoy (or Steven King, if that’s more your style). Seriously, though I kid, I was having a good time with his entry, and in fact had almost finished it when suddenly the brakes locked up.
Where was the Ivory Tower?
Where was the Excessive Mucus?
For that matter, though not an ingredient, where was “Sevelin Goes Alone?” I kept looking for a section detailing how this key plot twist would play out. I wasn’t expecting it to be summed up in two sentences at the end that were really nothing more than an apology for a failed plot hook. We’ve all failed to set the hook in our players before—you could have gotten away with leaving that assumption unspoken instead of hyping it up and then undelivering. This is a criticism but not, technically, a flaw, other than leaving the judge a bit bothered; this judge aspires to a higher level of judgment than letting such capricious whims sway the judgment.
There are other criticisms of nemm’s entry. He’s crafted here the kind of entry he, as the judge, loves to see. Fluffy. Lots of backstory. Lots of help for the DM. A micro-setting, observed from many angles. While I respect nemm sticking to his guns and not pandering to the judge, per se, I was very up front about what I’d be looking for: solid use of ingredients. This judge is not distracted by bells and whistles when ingredient use is not solid and cohesive.
Strangely enough, in both entries, it was the covered bridge that stood out in the most vivid detail, though neither of them really used it as a central theme. So many good stories revolve around the covered bridge (Sleepy Hollow and a fantastic Poe short story called “Never Bet the Devil Your Head” leap to mind) I expected more emphasis on this ingredient. Which was not to say it wasn’t used well. Nemm has the edge here, as his description of the multiple bridges (many dilapidated or inhabited by hostiles) leading into the jungle island is very good. At the same time, mythago’s marble gargoyles were a very, very cool image.
Both also used well the Reluctant Rakshasa. They are about equal here, though I note that nemm’s rakshasa goes from reluctantly good back to reluctantly evil. I have a little more pathos for mythago’s rakshasa, who reluctantly becomes the Local Hero.
Mythago’s Senseless Bickering is a great use of an ingredient. Though generally speaking I crack down hard on curses without explanations (for which I’ll fault him in a moment on the excessive mucus) I found his senseless bickering curse to be very, very interesting. I experienced a brief “Huh?” moment when his entry suggested that the original heroes and the rakshasa had mutually slain each other (how often has that ever happened, given the D&D ruleset?) but the later explanation as to what happened to the survivors is deliciously wicked. I wish we’d been given a bit more of this.
Neither competitor used the Ivory Tower as expected, in the sense of a place of academic learning. Neither used it particularly well, either. I give the edge to mythago, not simply because he took more time to detail the tower, but also because the image he did give us was very cool—I love the idea of the tower being made, literally, from the tusks of elephants hunted down by the rakshasa himself.
But the curse of the Excessive Mucus. I hate it. I just don’t get it. I also don’t understand why the rakshasa built the covered bridge, and then (conveniently) set air elementals to kill anyone who bypasses the bridge, or why the gargoyles on the bridge care whether anyone is wearing armor. Huh?, huh?, and huh? again. Many judges have said before that any use of an ancient or inexplicable curse was grounds for immediate disqualification. I didn’t mention that up front, but I can tell you this: I hate it.
Overall, the Excessive Mucus seemed blatantly shoe-horned into this entry, utterly without wit or style. The Excessive Mucus is here, simply because it HAS to be. And that’s a big no-no.
But for all that, is nemm’s use of the Excessive Mucus any better? A temple to Juiblex? It’s both remarkably cliché and amazingly out of place at the same time. Again, it’s here just because it HAS to be.
Was the Excessive Mucus really so difficult to incorporate that both competitors would handle it so poorly?
I feel as if it’s time to make my decision and once again, as I come to the conclusion of this judgement, my mind hasn’t finished doing the math yet. I do know one thing—once again we have one key ingredient poorly used. This time it’s poorly used by both competitors. Against any other entry that used the ingredient properly, they’d both lose.
In this case, I toss it out.
Neither Ivory Tower is a strong element. Mythago used it more vividly, and nemm’s entry was slightly weak as well (it seems almost forgotten).
Neither Covered Bridge is a strong element. Nemm’s bridges are more evocative; Mythago’s bridge, is borderline weak.
I give nemm the clear edge with the local hero (who is so central to the adventure that nemm found it necessary to account for the fact that he may actually complete it himself). Despite that, Mythago’s use wasn’t weak.
Mythago takes the lead with his Senseless Bickering. Nemm’s entry, indeed, has bickering, but it seems to me it’s actually bickering with a point—whether or not to back Sevelin and topple the pasha. Mythago’s bickering is cooler and, more to the point, “more senseless.”
Which leaves only the Reluctant Rakshasa. While I do admit I have more pathos for mythago’s kitty, nemm’s is more fleshed out and more central to the adventure.
Now that I have reached this point, and reviewed both again, neither really seems to wow me with ingredient use that is both integral and interesting. So, I find myself asking: Which entry is really more of an adventure?
Well, nemm’s seems more playable.
But is it fair to give the round to nemm simply because he threw more words at an overall poor use of ingredients? Lots of words that ultimately don’t have anything to do with an adventure that is meant to be built around these six ingredients?
I’ve flip-flopped on this decision many times in the span of moments. Even as I type this, I don’t know which name is going to escape my fingertips. I very, very reluctantly award this round to
Once again, were I an advancing competitor, I would look to this judgment as a warning, not an indication of a successful approach.
Excessive mucus is too difficult an ingredient for Round One?
If I’d simply said, “A plague” or “A curse” or “An uncomfortable disease,” would that have made things easier? I certainly didn’t expect this ingredient to throw a wrench into anyone’s entry—though of course, as we all know, there’s always got to be ONE ingredient that does that. I had a feeling that, even if this ingredient didn’t end up being the spoiler, it was bound to stick out like a sore thumb. As a player, I’d probably have been in the same boat—grab those other five ingredients and run, yes—but what about the excessive mucus?
So here comes nemm’s entry, humming along at a nice pace not seen since the heyday of Tolstoy (or Steven King, if that’s more your style). Seriously, though I kid, I was having a good time with his entry, and in fact had almost finished it when suddenly the brakes locked up.
Where was the Ivory Tower?
Where was the Excessive Mucus?
For that matter, though not an ingredient, where was “Sevelin Goes Alone?” I kept looking for a section detailing how this key plot twist would play out. I wasn’t expecting it to be summed up in two sentences at the end that were really nothing more than an apology for a failed plot hook. We’ve all failed to set the hook in our players before—you could have gotten away with leaving that assumption unspoken instead of hyping it up and then undelivering. This is a criticism but not, technically, a flaw, other than leaving the judge a bit bothered; this judge aspires to a higher level of judgment than letting such capricious whims sway the judgment.
There are other criticisms of nemm’s entry. He’s crafted here the kind of entry he, as the judge, loves to see. Fluffy. Lots of backstory. Lots of help for the DM. A micro-setting, observed from many angles. While I respect nemm sticking to his guns and not pandering to the judge, per se, I was very up front about what I’d be looking for: solid use of ingredients. This judge is not distracted by bells and whistles when ingredient use is not solid and cohesive.
Strangely enough, in both entries, it was the covered bridge that stood out in the most vivid detail, though neither of them really used it as a central theme. So many good stories revolve around the covered bridge (Sleepy Hollow and a fantastic Poe short story called “Never Bet the Devil Your Head” leap to mind) I expected more emphasis on this ingredient. Which was not to say it wasn’t used well. Nemm has the edge here, as his description of the multiple bridges (many dilapidated or inhabited by hostiles) leading into the jungle island is very good. At the same time, mythago’s marble gargoyles were a very, very cool image.
Both also used well the Reluctant Rakshasa. They are about equal here, though I note that nemm’s rakshasa goes from reluctantly good back to reluctantly evil. I have a little more pathos for mythago’s rakshasa, who reluctantly becomes the Local Hero.
Mythago’s Senseless Bickering is a great use of an ingredient. Though generally speaking I crack down hard on curses without explanations (for which I’ll fault him in a moment on the excessive mucus) I found his senseless bickering curse to be very, very interesting. I experienced a brief “Huh?” moment when his entry suggested that the original heroes and the rakshasa had mutually slain each other (how often has that ever happened, given the D&D ruleset?) but the later explanation as to what happened to the survivors is deliciously wicked. I wish we’d been given a bit more of this.
Neither competitor used the Ivory Tower as expected, in the sense of a place of academic learning. Neither used it particularly well, either. I give the edge to mythago, not simply because he took more time to detail the tower, but also because the image he did give us was very cool—I love the idea of the tower being made, literally, from the tusks of elephants hunted down by the rakshasa himself.
But the curse of the Excessive Mucus. I hate it. I just don’t get it. I also don’t understand why the rakshasa built the covered bridge, and then (conveniently) set air elementals to kill anyone who bypasses the bridge, or why the gargoyles on the bridge care whether anyone is wearing armor. Huh?, huh?, and huh? again. Many judges have said before that any use of an ancient or inexplicable curse was grounds for immediate disqualification. I didn’t mention that up front, but I can tell you this: I hate it.
Overall, the Excessive Mucus seemed blatantly shoe-horned into this entry, utterly without wit or style. The Excessive Mucus is here, simply because it HAS to be. And that’s a big no-no.
But for all that, is nemm’s use of the Excessive Mucus any better? A temple to Juiblex? It’s both remarkably cliché and amazingly out of place at the same time. Again, it’s here just because it HAS to be.
Was the Excessive Mucus really so difficult to incorporate that both competitors would handle it so poorly?
I feel as if it’s time to make my decision and once again, as I come to the conclusion of this judgement, my mind hasn’t finished doing the math yet. I do know one thing—once again we have one key ingredient poorly used. This time it’s poorly used by both competitors. Against any other entry that used the ingredient properly, they’d both lose.
In this case, I toss it out.
Neither Ivory Tower is a strong element. Mythago used it more vividly, and nemm’s entry was slightly weak as well (it seems almost forgotten).
Neither Covered Bridge is a strong element. Nemm’s bridges are more evocative; Mythago’s bridge, is borderline weak.
I give nemm the clear edge with the local hero (who is so central to the adventure that nemm found it necessary to account for the fact that he may actually complete it himself). Despite that, Mythago’s use wasn’t weak.
Mythago takes the lead with his Senseless Bickering. Nemm’s entry, indeed, has bickering, but it seems to me it’s actually bickering with a point—whether or not to back Sevelin and topple the pasha. Mythago’s bickering is cooler and, more to the point, “more senseless.”
Which leaves only the Reluctant Rakshasa. While I do admit I have more pathos for mythago’s kitty, nemm’s is more fleshed out and more central to the adventure.
Now that I have reached this point, and reviewed both again, neither really seems to wow me with ingredient use that is both integral and interesting. So, I find myself asking: Which entry is really more of an adventure?
Well, nemm’s seems more playable.
But is it fair to give the round to nemm simply because he threw more words at an overall poor use of ingredients? Lots of words that ultimately don’t have anything to do with an adventure that is meant to be built around these six ingredients?
I’ve flip-flopped on this decision many times in the span of moments. Even as I type this, I don’t know which name is going to escape my fingertips. I very, very reluctantly award this round to
nemmerle. There simply isn’t enough for the PCs to do in mythago’s entry; so in effect, YES, nemmerle has managed to disguise the poor taste of his ingredients in shovels-full of sticky-sweet nothingness.
Once again, were I an advancing competitor, I would look to this judgment as a warning, not an indication of a successful approach.
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I'm sure most of his judgments and work on this will be accomplished during the week. It's safe to assume Wulf will slow down during the weekends. 
