Relique du Madde
Adventurer
WARNING: This game is not for the easily offended. It will contain bizarre (and sometimes adult) situations, crude attempts at humor, adult themes, internet memes, satire, and BAD WRONG FUN. In short, this game is guaranteed to offend those with high standards of decency and might derailing itself in a magnificent train wreck while poking fun at comic book, super heroic, and reality tv motifs/tropes. In other words, it's going to be a hell of a game.
Two weeks ago.
My Tea Productions: New Hope City, California.
“I told you to pick our heroes by noon. It’s already Three o’clock. Thanks to all of your incompetence production has already been pushed back five hours.” Richard Diceman, the Producer of Salton City NEEDS a Hero, crossed his arms with displeasure. “Explain to me why I should not fire all of you...”
Richard Diceman’s first intern, a balding overweight man with bad hygiene, stood up from his seat. “Mr. Diceman, sir. You are a genius and I worship the ground you walk on and I want to have your baby… I mean if I was a girl I’d want to have your baby! You should keep me since I’d do anything for you, hell, I even bought your daughter Michelle a birthday present for you last week…”
“It’s son. I have a son, not a daughter. His name is Mitchell, not Michelle. Also, you bought Mitchell a copy of ‘Are you There God? It’s me, Margaret,’ and you put the present in my name. So because of your stupidity he is not talking to me. You are a worthless brown nosing idiot and you are fired, so get out of my office. Next.”
“But I…”
“You heard me, I said ‘next.’”
The second intern, a long blond-haired tan-skinned man, glanced down at the pile of pictures before him. He grinned as he picked up a picture of a Japanese girl dressed in a sailor suit. “Dude, you have to check her out, she’s totally your type. You should cast her….”
“Good job, Cory. You may stay.”
“Awesome, dude.”
“Next.”
The third intern, a freckled red haired man in his early twenties smiled confidently as he leaned back in his chair. “You wouldn’t fire me. I’m your brother.”
“As much as I love nepotism, I have to break the sad news to you: You were adopted. Mom and dad never liked you, and they purposely did not show up at you graduation and they purposely forgot about your 6th, 12th, 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays. You are also fired.”
“What?!?”
“You are deaf? Did I stutter? I said, and I repeat, you are fired. Next victim.”
The next intern placed a pill case onto the table and opened it. “You know, I didn’t want to bring this up, but I know a pharmacist who can hook you up with anything you want. No questions asked and no prescription needed.”
“I’ll give you a list. If you fail to deliver anything I place on it within 24 hours, you will not be allowed into this building. Is that clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Good. Now, Millie, since you are last, what do you have to say?”
Milly, a slender buxom mousy haired girl smiled nervously before saying, “I’m the daughter of a major studio exec. I’m pretty and he loves me more then his other children. If you fire me, you will be black listed and will never have a show on a major network within the United States again.”
Richard smirked, “Then you can stay.” After a brief moment he glanced to his ex-interns. “I want you losers to leave this building right now. Seriously, get out. If I see any of you on a security camera in ten minutes I’ll have you arrested for trespassing. Now, as for the rest of you, I want you to tack twenty of those photos onto the wall. It doesn’t matter who you choose, just place them on the wall. I’m going to do the same thing that all of you should have done hours ago.” Richard walked over to his dart board then grabbed five darts. “I’m going to let fate decide the remainder of our show’s cast...”
Last Wednesday..
My Tea Productions: New Hope City, California.
Emily Holland, the associate producer of Salton City NEEDS Heroes, walked into Richard Diceman’s office in a panicked manor. “Richard, we have a code red situation… The mayor wants to hand over our cast’s headquarters to another hero on Monday. He said that he could not wait two more weeks for production to start within his city. He needs a hero now!”
Richard crossed his arms in displeasure. “If he wants to play hard ball with me, then let him. Call our lawyers and we’ll sue that bastard’s city for breach of contract. Then we’ll ruin his and his city’s reputation and ensure the world’s greatest anarchist super villains come and rain havoc upon his worthless ball of alkaline dirt. Then let’s see if his populace will allow him to stay in office until the next election. When I’m done with him, he will wish he never brought upon Richard Diceman wrath!”
Emily frowned, “Richard, wouldn’t it be easier to contact our associates in Asia, Europe and Vancouver and arrange for our cast’s immediate arrival? If need be, I’ll notify the crew to film the scenes we are contractually obliged to film with Lady Lovecraft locally. I’m pretty sure that no one will know the difference.”
“Fine, but make sure our heroes are in Salton City on Monday by noon. I want you to pick them up personally, and resolve the issue dealing with their headquarters. I don’t care what you do; I just want you to insure that the Mayor chooses our super heroes. If our heroes are not in their lair by sundown on Monday, then you will be fired. Got that?”
“Yes, sir...”
“Good. Now get out of my office, I’m expecting my masseuse to arrive in 15 minutes... Tell the secretary to cancel all of my appointments for the next two hours.”
Today (Monday, March 2nd 2009).
Desert Flower Inn. Salton City, California.
Several days have passed since you received Emily Holland's package from My Tea Production and began your journey to California. Contained in the package was a brief note, plane tickets and instructions. You were not told where your final destination was going to be except that it was in California. Instead, you were told that each at each stop you would receive a package with further instructions and a ticket to the next location. You were also told not to disclose any information about the television series when you traveled, and that you were to pack lightly and only bring along any equipment you needed.
Late last night, after spending hours traveling traveling by plane, train, or automobile you arrived in Salton City and were given one last set of instructions:
1) Check in and rest at the Desert Flower Inn Motel.
2) At Noon walk across the street to Benny's Road House.
3) Ask for Emily.
Although you found yourself wishing against it, deep down, you know that Salton City was your final destination. From what you learned during the last few hours, you are not certain if you would had auditioned for the show if you knew where it was being filmed.
11:30 AM.
Across the street from the Desert Flower Inn you can see the Benny's Roadhouse's dilapidated wooded facade. From what you could tell, the establishment seems to be part biker-bar part steak-joint. In the half hour that passed since since the Benny's neon open sign turned on, the majority of the people who drove onto the business's parking lot appeared to be either bikers or truckers. That was before three black SUVs pulled into the parking lot, the occupants are four men and a single woman. Three of the men appear to be carrying what appear to be heavy cases.
The Cast
Blackrat - Sven Erik Erikkson, The Viking
Ginnel - Terrence Vance, Mr. TV
Halfrogman - Mikel "Michael" Styrzkwalski, The Ten-foot Pole
Jkason - Maxwell Freedman, Dord
Revielle - Michelle Anette Fox, The Rabid Fox
Shayuri - Keiko Ishimura, Kitsune
[sblock=OOC]
Each character has been in the Salton City since 8:00 pm the previous night (March 1st). None of the characters traveled on the same flight, train, bus, or taxi. However, it is possible that you may have spotted each other since you arrived at the motel.
It is assumed that each of your characters have filled out a non-disclosure agreement, although whether or not you actually stuck to it is up to you.
[/sblock]
Two weeks ago.
My Tea Productions: New Hope City, California.
“I told you to pick our heroes by noon. It’s already Three o’clock. Thanks to all of your incompetence production has already been pushed back five hours.” Richard Diceman, the Producer of Salton City NEEDS a Hero, crossed his arms with displeasure. “Explain to me why I should not fire all of you...”
Richard Diceman’s first intern, a balding overweight man with bad hygiene, stood up from his seat. “Mr. Diceman, sir. You are a genius and I worship the ground you walk on and I want to have your baby… I mean if I was a girl I’d want to have your baby! You should keep me since I’d do anything for you, hell, I even bought your daughter Michelle a birthday present for you last week…”
“It’s son. I have a son, not a daughter. His name is Mitchell, not Michelle. Also, you bought Mitchell a copy of ‘Are you There God? It’s me, Margaret,’ and you put the present in my name. So because of your stupidity he is not talking to me. You are a worthless brown nosing idiot and you are fired, so get out of my office. Next.”
“But I…”
“You heard me, I said ‘next.’”
The second intern, a long blond-haired tan-skinned man, glanced down at the pile of pictures before him. He grinned as he picked up a picture of a Japanese girl dressed in a sailor suit. “Dude, you have to check her out, she’s totally your type. You should cast her….”
“Good job, Cory. You may stay.”
“Awesome, dude.”
“Next.”
The third intern, a freckled red haired man in his early twenties smiled confidently as he leaned back in his chair. “You wouldn’t fire me. I’m your brother.”
“As much as I love nepotism, I have to break the sad news to you: You were adopted. Mom and dad never liked you, and they purposely did not show up at you graduation and they purposely forgot about your 6th, 12th, 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays. You are also fired.”
“What?!?”
“You are deaf? Did I stutter? I said, and I repeat, you are fired. Next victim.”
The next intern placed a pill case onto the table and opened it. “You know, I didn’t want to bring this up, but I know a pharmacist who can hook you up with anything you want. No questions asked and no prescription needed.”
“I’ll give you a list. If you fail to deliver anything I place on it within 24 hours, you will not be allowed into this building. Is that clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Good. Now, Millie, since you are last, what do you have to say?”
Milly, a slender buxom mousy haired girl smiled nervously before saying, “I’m the daughter of a major studio exec. I’m pretty and he loves me more then his other children. If you fire me, you will be black listed and will never have a show on a major network within the United States again.”
Richard smirked, “Then you can stay.” After a brief moment he glanced to his ex-interns. “I want you losers to leave this building right now. Seriously, get out. If I see any of you on a security camera in ten minutes I’ll have you arrested for trespassing. Now, as for the rest of you, I want you to tack twenty of those photos onto the wall. It doesn’t matter who you choose, just place them on the wall. I’m going to do the same thing that all of you should have done hours ago.” Richard walked over to his dart board then grabbed five darts. “I’m going to let fate decide the remainder of our show’s cast...”
Last Wednesday..
My Tea Productions: New Hope City, California.
Emily Holland, the associate producer of Salton City NEEDS Heroes, walked into Richard Diceman’s office in a panicked manor. “Richard, we have a code red situation… The mayor wants to hand over our cast’s headquarters to another hero on Monday. He said that he could not wait two more weeks for production to start within his city. He needs a hero now!”
Richard crossed his arms in displeasure. “If he wants to play hard ball with me, then let him. Call our lawyers and we’ll sue that bastard’s city for breach of contract. Then we’ll ruin his and his city’s reputation and ensure the world’s greatest anarchist super villains come and rain havoc upon his worthless ball of alkaline dirt. Then let’s see if his populace will allow him to stay in office until the next election. When I’m done with him, he will wish he never brought upon Richard Diceman wrath!”
Emily frowned, “Richard, wouldn’t it be easier to contact our associates in Asia, Europe and Vancouver and arrange for our cast’s immediate arrival? If need be, I’ll notify the crew to film the scenes we are contractually obliged to film with Lady Lovecraft locally. I’m pretty sure that no one will know the difference.”
“Fine, but make sure our heroes are in Salton City on Monday by noon. I want you to pick them up personally, and resolve the issue dealing with their headquarters. I don’t care what you do; I just want you to insure that the Mayor chooses our super heroes. If our heroes are not in their lair by sundown on Monday, then you will be fired. Got that?”
“Yes, sir...”
“Good. Now get out of my office, I’m expecting my masseuse to arrive in 15 minutes... Tell the secretary to cancel all of my appointments for the next two hours.”
Today (Monday, March 2nd 2009).
Desert Flower Inn. Salton City, California.
Several days have passed since you received Emily Holland's package from My Tea Production and began your journey to California. Contained in the package was a brief note, plane tickets and instructions. You were not told where your final destination was going to be except that it was in California. Instead, you were told that each at each stop you would receive a package with further instructions and a ticket to the next location. You were also told not to disclose any information about the television series when you traveled, and that you were to pack lightly and only bring along any equipment you needed.
Late last night, after spending hours traveling traveling by plane, train, or automobile you arrived in Salton City and were given one last set of instructions:
1) Check in and rest at the Desert Flower Inn Motel.
2) At Noon walk across the street to Benny's Road House.
3) Ask for Emily.
Although you found yourself wishing against it, deep down, you know that Salton City was your final destination. From what you learned during the last few hours, you are not certain if you would had auditioned for the show if you knew where it was being filmed.
11:30 AM.
Across the street from the Desert Flower Inn you can see the Benny's Roadhouse's dilapidated wooded facade. From what you could tell, the establishment seems to be part biker-bar part steak-joint. In the half hour that passed since since the Benny's neon open sign turned on, the majority of the people who drove onto the business's parking lot appeared to be either bikers or truckers. That was before three black SUVs pulled into the parking lot, the occupants are four men and a single woman. Three of the men appear to be carrying what appear to be heavy cases.
The Cast
Blackrat - Sven Erik Erikkson, The Viking
Ginnel - Terrence Vance, Mr. TV
Jkason - Maxwell Freedman, Dord
Shayuri - Keiko Ishimura, Kitsune
[sblock=OOC]
Each character has been in the Salton City since 8:00 pm the previous night (March 1st). None of the characters traveled on the same flight, train, bus, or taxi. However, it is possible that you may have spotted each other since you arrived at the motel.
It is assumed that each of your characters have filled out a non-disclosure agreement, although whether or not you actually stuck to it is up to you.
[/sblock]
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