Need help creating a stand up comedy routine in a fantasy setting

[Hand of Evil]

Oh, something I saw on Booze Traveller (Travel Channel show) that would make bards very entertaining in a tavern, drinking songs and drinking games. The songs are normally short, you see them more in Europe and Oktoberfest. Games are just that, where the bard directs the game and helps sell drinks in a tavern.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"Whenever, I go adventuring into mountains high or dungeons deep. I always make sure that I take a 6'5, 350lb Berserker to have my back.....

I don't know what I would do without my mother-in-law."







Edit: making the joke more FRPGish.

 

[Eltab]

The Past, The Present, and The Future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A Sage walked into a bar. And said, "I have GOT to get my glasses fixed !"

I'm in a good place right now. Not because of my emotions. Because I'm at -insert name of tavern here- !

A ventriloquist doing something ripped off from Jeff Dunham and the cranky old guy.

Another drinking game that sells product (we hope):
Bard plays lines from "I Drink Alone" while barmaids carry bottles of the named liquor around the room.
One example: I hooked up with my old friend Jack Daniels, and his partner Jimmy Beam. And we drink alone, yeah, with nobody else...

In a low-class dive, the entertainment is doing material based on common stereotypes of lords, ladies, orcs, elves, and whoever else will never be found in THIS bar.

 

[DeltaEcho]

Hi guys!

I'm a DM who is currently running a Pathfinder / 3.5 RPG (set in the Forgotten Realms however) and my party's getting ready to enter Waterdeep.

I thought it might be fun if one of the taverns had a bard delivering a stand up comedy routine and I need help coming up with some world appropriate jokes. I'm really struggling with this. Can anyone help?

Why do dwarfs fear squirrels?
because their nuts are closer to the ground,