NeMoren's Vault III: Return to the dungeon!

[Devis]

Devis wanders in. He's dressed in a fabulous silk robe, and towling his hair dry. Two enourmous slabs of bipedal muscle walk on either side of him. they're wearing T-shirts emblazoned with an image of Devis gyrating on a stage amid hundreds of lights and explosions. Scrawled across the shirts (in a font which was specifically chosen to appeal to the 16-25 year old female market) are the words "Devis Comes Alive!"

"Sorry, I'm late. Those tight leather trousers don't half make you sweaty"

He reaches into the pocket of his robe and pulls out a pair of ladies underwear. Red. With lace.

"Take this will you, Rocco. The damn things end up everywhere."

"Hey Jozan. How's it hanging? No wait. Scratch that. I don't wanna know.

Mialee. Loved the Pepsi thing.

Ma' nice work riding that little sled. I never knew you were that good horizontal. We should talk.

Nebbin. Glad to see those rumors weren't true.

So when do we start?"

 

[Nebin]

Sigh

Why don't y'all just go http://www.enworld.org/messageboards/showthread.php?s=&threadid=48

It was the first thing I posted here, I was readdy, I was prepared, I was a frillen BOY SCOUT !!!!!

Speaking of which Hey Lidda, snookums do you still have the Dirty Girl Scout outfit hmmmmmm

What rumors ? My sweet Tater and I always use "Pertection" !

 

[Kazak]

A big white limo pulls up, and Kazak steps out. He's wearing a white fur coat, sunglasses and enough bling-bling to sink a small ship. His album "AnvilRap" blares out of the car.

"Didn't win a thing at the Grammy's. I'm telling ye, they've got something against dwarves!

"Hey Devis, good to see ye. I take it no award luck for ye either?"

Kazak quickly changes into his usual dungeon attire, and resumes his position at the tunnel mouth.

 

[Hennet]

Exodus International?

Devis, good to see you again. Did you do something with you're hair, you look a little different...maybe it's just the dungeon lighting?

Anyway, we're all rested, let's go champion the oppressed!

 

[Devis]

Hey Buckles. Lookin' good. Nah, I'm the same Devis I always was. Or maybe more of one of me, but less of another.

Hell, I've been on tour. I dunno. Is this Cleveland?

 

[Piratecat]

And.... ACTION!

Down in the pit, the armor clatters into pieces under the combined assault of Hennet's summoned fiend and Naull's flaming sphere. The smell of scorched metal rises from the darkness; climbing out with Hennet's help, Vadania gets a glimpse of the armor's demise before her head passes through the permanent darkness. Up above, Perea the Bear and Alhandra both wait for her to climb to safety.

From down the corridor, Jozan arrives, panting slightly from the run. Regdar saunters behind him, still shaking bottles of wine to see if any of them are partially full. It's amazing how quickly people can move in a crisis; it seems like there was no one at this end of the corridor at the start of combat.

A claw slaps onto the floor from out of the pit. The demon pulls his head up and glares at Alhandra. "Donnn't liike her!" it hisses, turning to look at Hennet. "All deeaaad down there. No blood to sup, no flesh to lick. Nexxt time I want meat!" then, shimmering, it disappears in a burst of brimstone.

At this same moment, Mialee, Lidda, Kazak and Krusk are getting into position at the end of a tunnel. They can see humanoids on the other side of a natural chasm in the floor. Now, all they have to do to start their plan is make sure everyone knows it, and give the word....

 

[Devis]

Devis shakes his head. He'd been working out a particularly difficult chord progression in the room with the statue. He stops to knead the stiffness from his elegant fingers, and the sound of screams puctures his tonal revere.

Wake, soldier, wake, thy war-horse waits
To bear thee to the battle back;
Thou slumberest at a foeman’s gates,—
Thy dog would break thy bivouac;
Thy plume is trailing in the dust
And thy red falchion gathering rust.

 

[Devis]

Which translates into: PC, I'm hauling my leather clad bottom down the corridor towards the sound of the screams.

 

[Lidda]

Mialee was going to levitate me so I could do something about this collapsing ceiling trap, and then Krusk and Kazak were going to let loose the dogs of war on the goblinoids across the little ditch.

At least I think that was the plan.

We'll see.

 

[Piratecat]

Lidda, you're pretty sure that you've successfully disarmed that ceiling trap. By cutting the rope but pinning it taut, it won't yank out the linchpin any more when it gets pulled. If this deadfall falls, it won't be your fault.

Hey, it's fun floating up there! All bouncy and supportive.