Ry's guide to being an Evil Overlord

[Pbartender]

If I ever talk to the hero (on the phone or whatnot), I will not taunt him. Instead, I will offer him a job as my ethics advisor. I will take his advise at first, letting him think that he is having a genuine impact upon me. But all the while I will be secretly undermining his efforts. I shall make sure he feels the full weight of the lives hurt because of his, "poor advise." I will then instruct him in the ways of running a true evil empire. If it takes, I will make sure to get his hands dirty so that he will be to ashamed to rise up agaist me. If it does not, then I will put infront of him numberous temptations. When he succumbs to one of them, I will have him publicly tried and executed.

No, no, no. Try it again, and this time... with feeling...

"If I ever talk to to the hero, I will not taunt him. I will have my guards shoot him in the back, while his attention is on me."

"If I ever talk to the hero on the phone (or whatnot), I will not taunt him. I will continue the conversation cordially, until the line trace goes through. Then call in an airstrike that blows him to smithereens, while his attention is on me."

 

[Ry]

"If the hero ever calls me, he will get my secretary, who will tell him to please hold while she gets me out of a meeting, until the trace goes through. The hold music is elevator versions of tunes by Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys."

 

[F5]

"If the hero ever calls me, he will get my secretary, who will tell him to please hold while she gets me out of a meeting, until the trace goes through. The hold music is elevator versions of tunes by Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys."

OK, evil's great, and all, but now you've gone too far...

*shudder*

 

[dmccoy1693]

The hold music is elevator versions of tunes by Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys."

OMG!!! You, Sir, are EVIL.

 

[Halivar]

Does anyone know what the male version of a mistress is called? We want to be equal opportunity here.

NO WOMEN! They will inevitably fall for the hero, and betray me at a moment's notice. Henchmen, OTOH, almost never fall for the beautiful heroine. Don't know why, they just never do.

 

[Terraism]

NO WOMEN! They will inevitably fall for the hero, and betray me at a moment's notice. Henchmen, OTOH, almost never fall for the beautiful heroine. Don't know why, they just never do.

Except in romantic fantasy. But then, that's because they're all secretly decent folks at heart who wish they were in a fulfilling relationship. Therefore, as part of the Evil Overload Program, it's important to ensure your minions have roots in the community/family ties/etc. to keep them grounded in the status quo. Benefits are good. Costly, but if Henchman #8675309 has his wife and children provided for while in your service, he's going to think twice about chucking it.

 

[KenSeg]

I will post on Ebay that the pebble of power that is my one weakness is for sale, under an assumed name of course. I will collect the top bid and then send my assasins of doom to kill not only the top bidder but all other bidders as well.

-KenSeg
gaming since 1978

 

[Ry]

Except in romantic fantasy. But then, that's because they're all secretly decent folks at heart who wish they were in a fulfilling relationship. Therefore, as part of the Evil Overload Program, it's important to ensure your minions have roots in the community/family ties/etc. to keep them grounded in the status quo. Benefits are good. Costly, but if Henchman #8675309 has his wife and children provided for while in your service, he's going to think twice about chucking it.

You see, that's what I'm talking about. Get the social psychology right, and you're kinder, gentler, more persuasive Evil Overlord.

The best rebellions are the ones that never happen in the first place.

 

[Halivar]

and then send my assasins of doom

Tsk. Tsk. "Assassins of Doom?" I think you need a new Marketing Overlord, because you're in desperate need of rebranding.

Might I suggest, "Emergency Preemptive Triage Team"?

Therefore, as part of the Evil Overload Program, it's important to ensure your minions have roots in the community/family ties/etc. to keep them grounded in the status quo. Benefits are good. Costly, but if Henchman #8675309 has his wife and children provided for while in your service, he's going to think twice about chucking it.

You've convinced me. Where do I sign up, oh Great One?

EDIT: Oh, I thought you said "wife provided for him," as if every henchmen gets an evil villainess (as deadly as she is beautiful, of course) as part of the benefits package. Now that would be compelling.

 

[Intrope]

Tsk. Tsk. "Assassins of Doom?" I think you need a new Marketing Overlord, because you're in desperate need of rebranding.

Might I suggest, "Emergency Preemptive Triage Team"?

How about 'Trouble Consultants'?