Star Wars: Birthplace

[LostSoul]

You know, I'm not a particular fan of the screenplay style you're using...but I like the story so far.

Thanks.

I wasn't sure how the screenplay style would go over. But I'm having fun doing it, for now. I'm hoping that eventually I'll have some kind of hybrid style that's easy to read and packs the visual punch.

But the only way to get there is to keep practicing, so back to Notepad for me...

 

[LostSoul]

You all meet in a bar...

EXT. NALDAR CITY - DAY

Raynor is walking down one of the beautiful streets of Naldar City. Lush, landscaped vegetation is all around him. He is wearing a bright smile. He stops to pick up an old woman's fallen purse, then continues on his way.

His comlink starts beeping, and Raynor answers it.

RAYNOR: "Hello?"

CUT TO:​

INT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - DAY

Padre Agos is on the other end of the comlink. He is eating small morsels of food on toothpicks.

PADRE AGOS: "Raynor Onass. How's life treating you?"

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR CITY - DAY

RAYNOR: "Not too bad, Agos, not too bad at all. What's up?"

PADRE AGOS: "I've got a business proposition for you."

RAYNOR: "Really... I could use some work. What is it?"

PADRE AGOS: "Come by my place in an hour and we'll talk. Are you still hanging around that fetching spacer - what was her name..."

RAYNOR: "Ah, Lita. Yeah, I can get in touch with her."

PADRE AGOS: "Good, good. Bring her by as well."

RAYNOR: "No problem. I'll see you in an hour then."

PADRE AGOS: "An hour. Goodbye."

Raynor switches off his comlink. Still holding it, he presses a series of buttons and holds it up to his ear.

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR STARPORT - DAY

Lita Moren, dressed in thick gearhead's coveralls, is on top of her light freighter, the OUTLAW STAR. She is fiddling around in an open panel with a hydrospanner. She pushes too hard on the tool and an arc of electricity jumps out of the panel and bites at her hand. She drops her hydrospanner and shakes her hand, making a face. Just as she does so, her comlink starts to beep.

LITA: "Hello?"

RAYNOR: (via comlink) "Hey Lita, how's it going?"

LITA: "Raynor. Not bad."

RAYNOR: (via comlink) "So, are you free today?"

LITA: "Why? I'm not going on a date with you, I already told you that."

RAYNOR: (via comlink) "Hey, nothing like that, we're friends. As a friend, I got you some work."

LITA: "What kind of work?"

RAYNOR: (via comlink) "Just meet me at Padre Agos' place in an hour."

LITA: "Wait, what's this about?"

RAYNOR: (via comlink) "Just meet me. Come on, what else is there to do with the Empire blockading the planet? Unless you want to go out and get a couple of drinks..."

LITA: "Okay, okay, I'll meet you there. An hour?"

RAYNOR: (via comlink) "Yep."

LITA: "Okay."

Lita switches off her comlink and wipes her grease-covered hands on her coveralls.

WIPE TO:​

EXT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - EVENING

The sun is casting long shadows down the street. A BARABEL bouncer, barely fitting into his tight black tuxedo, is putting out a series of metal posts. As he places them down, a velvet laser leaps between them.

Above him, a neon hologram that reads "Desire" flickers to life.

INT. PADRE AGOS NIGHTCLUB - EVENING

Raynor Onass and Lita Moren enter the nightclub. It is still as empty as when we saw it earlier in the day, sporting the same clientele. Six-Four is sitting alone at the bar, nursing a drink.

In a booth near the back office, Padre Agos stands up and snuffs out a cigarette. He waves Raynor and Lita toward him.

PADRE AGOS: "Six-Four! You'll want to hear this too."

Six-Four downs his drink and follows the others into the back office.

INT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - OFFICE - EVENING

Padre Agos sits behind his desk. Raynor and Lita take seats. Six-Four stands near the door.

PADRE AGOS: "I'm glad you could all meet me here. Lita, you look well... better than I remember." His eyes linger on her body for a moment too long. She stares back at him, and Padre Agos casts his look down. "Uh.. yes. No doubt you are all wondering why I asked you here."

Raynor leans in.

PADRE AGOS: "Raynor, you're here because you are a relative unknown - so far - without attachments. That means I can trust you. Lita, I need you because... well, actually, I need your ship. And a pilot. And Six-Four - well - I assume everyone here knows what you do, and do well."

Six-Four nods.

PADRE AGOS: "I have recently come into possession of a valuable piece of information-" he pauses for effect - "a data disk that has a list of every Imperial agent operating on Naldar and their safehouses." He smiles. "Naturally, many parties are going to want a piece of this."

SIX-FOUR: "I'll bet."

PADRE AGOS: "I want to keep myself out of the spotlight, as it were, as much as possible. I don't want anyone to know what I've got." He pauses. "I want you to set up a deal with any interested party. I want you to get no less than twenty-five thousand for my troubles. And passage off-planet. That's were you come in, my dear Lita."

LITA: (shrugs) "Okay."

RAYNOR: "That all sounds great, Padre. But there's one thing you forgot to mention - payment. What are we going to get from all this?"

PADRE AGOS: "That is entirely up to you. You can work whatever kind of deal you want, with whomever you wish. As long as I get my twenty-five, you can keep the rest."

RAYNOR: "I can work with that."

The office door opens and everyone turns to look. The camera focuses on a feminine figure leaning on the doorway, backlit in the smoky air. This beauty is MIA ENDIVE, Padre Agos' mistress and a nightclub singer of some small fame. She is dressed in a slinky evening gown, which, being the middle of the day, would be strange on anyone else, but she pulls it off.

Mia crawls onto Agos like a cat, pawing at him playfully. She makes burning eye-contact with Raynor. His eyes open wide and he tilts his head slightly.

MIA: (to Padre Agos, while keeping her eyes locked on Raynor) "So, papa, gonna introduce me to your friends?"

PADRE AGOS: "Ah, Mia. These are some... business associates of mine. We were just finishing up a deal-"

MIA: "Lovely." She finally turns her eyes away from Raynor, to Padre Agos. "So... about that new dress for my set tonight..."

PADRE AGOS: (rolls his eyes) "Not once do you come back here just to see me."

Mia laughs, a playful sort of sound, with a hint of force behind it.

MIA: "Don't you want me to look my best? I'm sure the reviewers won't notice your star attraction in one of last-season's outfits."

Padre Agos reaches into his desk and hands Mia a credit stick. Mia stands up, and Padre Agos pats her behind.

PADRE AGOS: "Now, I'm sorry, my dear, but we have to finish here."

MIA: "You'll probably want to do it soon." She points her thumb over her shoulder, toward the bar. "You've got some more 'business associates' waiting for you."

The camera follows Padre Agos' look. Walking toward the office, we see Quick Nines, a gaggle of goons, and their boss, THE FIXER.

The Fixer - this is how he known; anyone who might have known his name, if he ever had one, has been in the grave for a long time - is physically unimposing, but something about him makes the hair on our arms and the back of our necks stand up. He's dressed in a pristine white suit that washes out his pale complexion, making his skin look grey. The only bit of colour on him is a black ascot and a black silk band around his fedora.

The Fixer whispers something into Quick Nines' ear. His whispering is like the chittering of a thousand beetles feeding in a charnel pit.

QUICK NINES: "The Fixer asks if you're doing business behind his back."

RAYNOR: "Oh, no, just some friends having a talk."

QUICK NINES: "Good."

Six-Four looks over Quick Nines' cybernetic hands, eyes, and the twin heavy blaster pistols slung low on his hips. He scoffs. Quick Nines catches his eyes and the two of them lock stares.

RAYNOR: "Well, Padre, I guess we're about done here..."

PADRE AGOS: "Yes; I'll get in touch with you in time."

Raynor and Lita get up and move to the door. Quick Nines steps out of the way, and they walk out. Six-Four follows, holding his look with Quick Nines as he passes him.

 

[LostSoul]

Dark alleys & goons...

The first appearance of the dreaded GOON (level 2 Thugs), in which Six-Four shows his bloodthirsty side. Every good bounty hunter needs one.

---

EXT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - EVENING

Raynor, Lita, and Six-Four stand near the entrance to the nightclub. Two inconspicuous GOONS are talking in the background.

RAYNOR: (to Lita) "So, what do you think?"

LITA: "Doesn't sound so bad. Who is that Fixer guy?"

RAYNOR: "He's a legend hoods are taught to fear. That cyborg, Quick Nines, he's his bodyguard."

LITA: "You think they are involved in this job?"

RAYNOR: "Doubt it."

SIX-FOUR: "I guess I'm working with you two. Who do you want to pawn this data disk off to?"

LITA: "We could try General Bem Dios."

SIX-FOUR: "I don't think we want to go to any officials."

RAYNOR: "We could try House Lyden. They've got a reputation for supporting mercenaries who work for Naldar against the Empire."

SIX-FOUR: "That sounds good with me." He looks around. "Well, you guys call me when you need me."

Six-Four walks off. Raynor has a look around.

RAYNOR: "Uh... Six-Four..."

Raynor catches up with him.

RAYNOR: "Hey - don't look - I think we've got a tail."

SIX-FOUR: "Already? Damn. I figured they would have waited a few hours at least."

RAYNOR: "Let's draw them out."

Lita walks over to them.

LITA: "Hey guys, I think we're being watched."

RAYNOR: "Let's head to one of those dark back-alleys that you see in the holo-vids."

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR CITY - DARK ALLEY - EVENING

The three humans are walking through the outskirts of Naldar City. Low-rise apartment buildings line the streets. A MAG-TRAM speeds by overhead on stilts of iron, kicking up dust and trash. They turn down an unoccupied street, covered in shadow by the mag-tram line.

Raynor MELTS into the shadow. Six-Four and Lita keep walking.

The two Goons come into frame. There is faint chatter coming from a comlink on GOON #2.

GOON #1: "Hey, what happened to the other guy?"

GOON #2: "Who cares. We'll just keep on the other two."

There is a CLICK of a pistol being cocked, and Raynor steps out of the shadow with his blaster to the back of GOON #1's head.

RAYNOR: "We don't take too kindly to being followed."

When Raynor steps out, Six-Four and Lita spin around, weapons drawn.

RAYNOR: (to the Goon) "What are you doing?"

GOON #1: "Uh... you know, just going for a walk on a nice day..." His hand moves slowly to his breast pocket.

SIX-FOUR: "Anyone ever tell you it's dangerous to go down dark alleys? You could end up dead."

GOON #1: "Don't shoot, come on, please..." His hand keeps moving towards his breast pocket.

RAYNOR: "You better stop that-"

Lita FIRES off a warning bolt that misses Goon #1's head by inches. He panics, and moves for his pistol. Raynor snaps off a shot that catches the thug's hand, BLOWING it apart. Goon #1 collapses to the ground, clutching the smouldering stump.

GOON #1: (screaming) "Ow, my hand, my hand, you shot off my hand!" His eyes roll into the back of his head and he passes out.

GOON #2: (looking at his friend) "Don't shoot, we were just going for a walk..." He moves his hand to a hidden comlink in his ear.

Six-Four gets tired of this and fires a bolt that hits Goon #2 right between the eyes. Blood SPRAYS out the back of his head and he falls, wisps of smoke snaking out of his skull.

LITA: "Did you really have to kill him?"

SIX-FOUR: "Trust me, he's better off dead. He was a real bastard - murderer, rapist."

RAYNOR: "Should we off the other one?"

SIX-FOUR: "Just let an ambulance come pick him up." He holsters his pistol and begins rifling through the fallen thug's pockets. He pulls out a comlink and the chatter on it, previously muffled, becomes clear. Everyone stops to listen.

PADRE AGOS: (via comlink) "I think that wraps up our business. I'll see you later."

QUICK NINES: (via comlink) "Yep."

We hear the sound of a door opening and closing. Then silence for a moment.

QUICK NINES: (via comlink) "Do you think he's got it?"

Another voice comes through. It sounds like ground glass and the bite of cold on sensitive teeth.

THE FIXER: (via comlink) "Yes." A pause. "What are you doing about Raynor and his friends?"

QUICK NINES: (via comlink) "They're being taken care of." He laughs, a tinny sound. We hear the sound of chairs moving, then static as Six-Four turns off the comlink.

RAYNOR: "Quick Nines was behind this."

SIX-FOUR: "Not a real big deductive leap there."

LITA: "Do you think that they might be following Agos?"

RAYNOR: "I guess I'll give him a call and find out." He pulls out his comlink and turns a dial.

PADRE AGOS: (via comlink) "Hello?" There is a roaring sound, as if he is in a speeder with the windows down.

RAYNOR: "Hey Agos, just calling to see how you're doing."

PADRE AGOS: "Not bad. Is there a problem?"

RAYNOR: "Oh no, no problem." He lowers his voice to a whisper. "We think you might be followed." He raises his voice. "Just wanted to check up on things." He lowers his voice again. "If you're in trouble, say 'no'."

PADRE AGOS: (via comlink) He laughs. "No - I mean, yes - er, Raynor, it's nice that you are taking an interest in my safety, but I can take care of myself. Let me assure you, I am in no danger right now."

RAYNOR: "You're sure?"

PADRE AGOS: "Yes, yes. Now give me a call when you have gathered the cash."

The comlink switches off. Raynor looks around, from the faceless corpse to the Goon crunched up in the fetal position.

RAYNOR: "We better get out of here. Everyone cool with going to House Lyden?"

Lita and Six-Four nod.

 

[Artellan]

Cool story so far. That Quick Nines guy seems like a cool enemy, with his cybernetic enhancements and everything - too bad we already know that Raynor toasts him with a blast to the eye!
I like the descriptions of the city and the overall gritty feel of the campaign. The characters are rather interesting as well. Although I can hardly wait to see them get into a really challenging fight.

 

[LostSoul]

A deal is struck

EXT. NALDAR CITY CENTRE - HOUSE LYDEN - EVENING

The camera moves through the centre of Naldar City. Governmental and commercial buildings rise up thousands of feet into the sky. The massive pyramid of NALDAR COUNCIL HALL dwarfs all of them. HOUSE LYDEN stands in the shadow of it, a thin tower that buzzes with speeder traffic.

INT. HOUSE LYDEN - MAIN FOYER - EVENING

The main foyer of House Lyden is a wide, circular, open area. The centre of the foyer is taken up by a shower of water that falls with a slight, soothing roar from somewhere up above. Men and women, mostly human, walk through the foyer, almost every one wearing the uniform of the House.

Raynor saunters up to the main desk. A RECEPTION DROID, a thin spindle of silver embedded into the desk, moves its dozen thin arms across a computer panel. It greets him in a tinny female voice.

RECEPTION DROID: "Greetings sir, how may I help you today?"

RAYNOR: "Tell Nat Lodon that Raynor Onass is here."

RECEPTION DROID: "Is she expecting you, sir?"

RAYNOR: "Uh... yeah."

The droid whirs and hits a few buttons with its arms.

RECEPTION DROID: "She will be with you in a moment, sir."

The group waits a few minutes, then Nat Lodon appears. She is wearing her blue House Lyden uniform. Her bold stride is mirrored by the click-clack sound of her boots on the polished marble floor.

She stops before Raynor, cocks her hips, and crosses her arms. She grins.

NAT LODON: "Raynor Onass. What are you doing here?"

RAYNOR: "Hello Nat - you look as good as ever. I love a woman in uniform."

Nat rolls her eyes.

RAYNOR: "I'm just here to say hi, see what you're up to, pay my respects to a good friend."

NAT LODON: (smirking) "That's real sweet, Raynor. Too bad it's . So, why are you really here?"

RAYNOR: (smiles) "We've got something that your boss might want to see."

NAT LODON: "You mean Patria Lyden, don't you? Wow, you've really moved up in the world. Let me see what I can do. She's a busy woman, so you might have to wait a few hours."

RAYNOR: "As long as you're here to keep me company, I won't mind."

NAT LODON: (smiling, to Lita and Six-Four) "How do you guys put up with him?"

SIX-FOUR: (deadpan) "Shoot at him when he gets too annoying."

NAT LODON: (nods) "Yeah, that'd do it. Alright, wait here. I'll tell you how it goes."

Nat leaves the same way she comes in.

SIX-FOUR: (to Lita) "Are there any women on this planet he hasn't slept with?"

RAYNOR: "Yet. Hasn't slept with yet."

LITA: "Well, he hasn't slept with me."

RAYNOR: "Yet. Hasn't slept with me yet."

Lita scoffs and shakes her head.

LITA: "Remind me to sterilize your cabin when we get back to the ship."

CUT TO:​

INT. HOUSE LYDEN - PATRIA LYDEN'S GREETING HALL - EVENING

The setting sun spills red and pink through long, narrow windows and onto a marble floor. Stately pillars hold up a cavernous roof covered in shadow. The hall is large, open, and empty - save for Raynor, Six-Four, and Lita.

PATRIA LYDEN, ruler of House Lyden, walks silently into frame, flanked by two armed HUSCARLS. She is a woman of some sixty years, thin, motherly lines etching her face, giving it an air of compassion and care. She wears her hair under a small, simple black cap, which complements her stark white gown.

Lita and Raynor bow as Patria approaches.

PATRIA LYDEN: "Please, please, no such formalities, gentlebeings." She waves her two Huscarls off. "I am Patria Lyden. I assume you are Raynor Onass, and you Lita Moren?" Raynor and Lita nod. She turns to Six-Four. "I am sorry, but I am not familiar with your companion."

SIX-FOUR: "They call me Six-Four, ma'am."

PATRIA LYDEN: "Ah. A pleasure, all of you. I am sorry that I had to put our meeting off for so long - I was occupied with other commitments." She walks slowly to the window and stares out at Naldar City, bustling with preparation for the night. She sits down on a stone bench. "Now - I am told you have something of great importance to discuss?"

RAYNOR: (clearing his throat) "Yes, your... uh, my... um. Yes. We have a listing of Imperial agents and their safehouses here on Naldar."

Patria's eyes light up. She stands and rests her hand on Raynor's arm.

PATRIA LYDEN: "You have this? May I see it?"

RAYNOR: "Well, we don't have it with us... but we have it close by." Patria relaxes and sits back down.

PATRIA LYDEN: "I assume you will want some compensation for the delivery of something so valuable to Naldar?"

RAYNOR: "Uh... yes." Patria's look tells Raynor that he's going to have to start off the negotiation first. "We were thinking of fifty-thousand."

PATRIA LYDEN: "I understand that this information is quite useful, but you must understand that we are taking some risk in this deal - the veracity of the information, its relevance, and any time that has passed may invalidate it. I am willing to offer thirty-five."

Raynor looks to Lita and Six-Four, who both nod.

RAYNOR: "That sounds good."

PATRIA LYDEN: "Excellent! Let me gather the funds." She leaves.

SIX-FOUR: "With Padre Agos' cut, we'll clear a cool ten-thousand on this deal."

LITA: "That would be enough for me..."

SIX-FOUR: "Yeah, well, not enough for me, but we're splitting it three ways."

Patria returns with her Huscarls, one of whom is carrying a silver platter. On the platter rest a dozen credit cylinders, thin and black.

Patria Lyden picks up one and is about to swipe a datacard through it.

RAYNOR: "Actually... can we get one with ten-thousand and another with the rest?"

PATRIA LYDEN: "Certainly." She swipes two of the cylinders. "These are encoded with the appropriate amount of funds. When you deliver the information, we will activate the cylinders and you may use them as you wish."

RAYNOR: "Thank you, your grace."

PATRIA LYDEN: "Thank you. You are doing both Naldar and House Lyden - and me, personally - a great service."

Raynor, Six-Four, and Lita bow and leave.

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR CITY - HOUSE LYDEN - NIGHT

The sun has set behind the towers of the metropolis. The traffic in front of House Lyden has cleared out.

Raynor pulls out a comlink and twists a dial.

PADRE AGOS: (via comlink) "Hello?"

RAYNOR: "Hey Agos, we got your cash for you!"

PADRE AGOS: (via comlink) "Excellent. Meet me at the Naldar City Economy Motel, off of exit 803. Keys will be waiting for you under the name Papa Soga. I'll be there within the hour."

RAYNOR: (nods) "Okay."

Raynor switches off the comlink.

FADE TO BLACK...

 

[LostSoul]

Back to the beginning...

In a shadowy, grainy segment, we see Quick Nines as we first saw him - bursting through the motel door. The screen flashes to black and shows a few frames from the opening scene, which are intercut with blackness and the sounds of combat:

A) An extreme close-up on a BLASTER shooting a streak of green fire.

B) Six-Four DIVING behind a table.

C) The window SHATTERING into a million tiny shards.

D) Lita ROLLING out of the fog.

E) In slow motion, Quick Nines' cybernetic eye EXPLODING in a fine mist of blood and molten steel.

The screen is black for a second and then we FADE TO:

INT. SEEDY MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

The seedy motel room is just like we left it. Raynor and Lita are attempting to give the room a presentable face. Six-Four is in the bathroom, and we can hear the sounds of him scraping the flesh off of Quick Nines' cybernetics.

SIX-FOUR: "So - you think the Fixer bugged this place?"

LITA: (lifting up a cushion, then recoiling) "Not unless this mystery stain is some new high-tech bio-bug." She turns to Raynor. "Raynor, maybe you should try Agos again."

Raynor turns a dial on his comlink; once again, he gets only static.

RAYNOR: "Maybe he's just late."

SIX-FOUR: (deadpan, as always) "You're probably right. And Quick Nines just picking this one seedy motel room out of all the seedy motel rooms in all the world - that's just coincidence.

RAYNOR: "Hey, well, this is a nice planet, rich, lots of cash. Maybe there aren't that many seedy motels."

SIX-FOUR: "I guess you would know."

RAYNOR: (smiles) "I always show a lady a good time."

SIX-FOUR: "I'm sure you do - you just don't spend much money."

Lita's comlink starts to beep. A red light flashes on top.

LITA: "As stimulating as this conversation is, I'm going to take this call outside."

Lita steps into the parking lot. In the distance, we can see Quick Nines' AIRSPEEDER - deep-green and built for brute strength.

LITA: "Hello?"

VOICE: (weak, sobbing) "Lita?"

LITA: "Cyda? What's wrong?"

CYDA: "Lita, it's... just come down here."

LITA: "What's wrong? What happened?"

CYDA: (shaky) "I... I can't... just, please, come down here."

LITA: "Okay, don't worry, I'll be there soon."

CYDA: "Oh please... hurry..."

LITA: "Okay, okay."

Lita switches off the comlink and steps back into the motel.

LITA: "Hey guys... I've got to go check on a friend."

RAYNOR: "Something wrong?"

LITA: "I hope not." She grabs Quick Nines' speeder keycard. "I'll be back soon."

RAYNOR: "I guess we'll wait here, in case Agos shows up."

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR CITY - NIGHT

Lita flies through the dark streets of Naldar City in Quick Nines' speeder. Her face is lit up by streetlights flashing by like the thoughts in her head.

She hits the throttle and the speeder GROWLS in response, racing away.

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR UNIVERSITY - CAMPUS - NIGHT

Lita pulls up in her speeder. In the background, a pair of NALDAR MILITIAMEN stand guard.

Lita hops out of the speeder and hurries towards Professor Quel Liam's office.

CUT TO:​

INT. ANCIENT ASTRO-ARCHAEOLOGY - NIGHT

A fluorescent light FLICKERS on and off, casting the reception room in a pale green. Cyda's desk sits unoccupied, papers strewn all around it.

Lita enters cautiously, her cape blowing behind her in the wind. Her hand rests on her blaster.

LITA: (cautiously) "Cyda?"

We hear whimpering coming from under the desk. Lita goes around it and finds Cyda rolled up in a ball underneath. When she sees Lita, she leaps up and throws her arms around her, her body shaking in sobs.

CYDA: "Oh, Lita... you're here..."

Lita gently pries Cyda off of her.

LITA: "Cyda, what happened here? Where is the Professor?"

CYDA: "A man -" she shudders while saying this - "came to see him. Dressed all in black." She covers her face with her hands.

LITA: "Who was he? What did he look like?"

CYDA: (through her hands) "He... he seemed tall, but - I don't think he was. It was more like - like everything. Like he was everything in the world, standing there. I couldn't take my eyes off of his - those horrible, red-rimmed eyes!" She sobs loudly, making a mewling sound like an animal caught in a trap.

LITA: "What... what did he want?"

CYDA: "I don't know. He said something, I think - maybe nothing. But I just - I couldn't move, couldn't do anything. Even when the professor was screaming -" she closes her eyes and shakes - "I - I was stuck. I hid under my desk, didn't watch him leave, and I've been under there for the past four hours. It was all I could do to call you."

LITA: "What happened to the Professor?"

Lita gets up and moves to the office.

The door is slightly ajar, and Lita cautiously pushes it open, revealing black inside. She flicks on a glow rod and scans her light across the room, uncovering reams of torn-up papers and books. A desk lies overturned in the middle of the room.

Then the light falls on Quel Liam.

LITA: "Holy mother space..."

Professor Quel Liam has been PINNED to the wall in an "X" by the remains of his portable computer. Blood covers his arms and collects in a pool on the ground. His head is down against his chest, which does not rise.

Lita drops the glow-rod and rushes over to the Professor.

LITA: "Quel..."

She grabs at one of the plastic stakes and begins to pull it out. Quel Liam's head suddenly jerks to life and he turns to look at her. His face is thick with shadow, his eyes two black pits.

He screams. It sounds like the end of the world.

LITA: "Professor, professor, it's me, it's Lita, it's going to be okay, I'll get you down from here..."

In the background, we hear a SHRIEK. Lita turns to see Cyda, who is staring at Quel Liam.

LITA: "Cyda, calm down. Call an ambulance. He's still alive."

Cyda stands motionless.

LITA: "CYDA!"

Cyda snaps back to life and picks up a comlink on her desk. Lita turns back to Quel Liam.

LITA: "It's going to be okay..."

Quel Liam's screams have quieted down to a pitiful moaning. He mumbles something.

QUEL LIAM: "The man in black... pain... death... fear... the Bogan." His eyes open wide and he stares at Lita. "The translation - he has it - he seeks it..." Quel Liam collapses back into unconsciousness.

Lita cradles his head and stares into empty space. Her brow is furrowed, her eyes are wide, and her jaw is set. Her nostrils flare as she breathes in deep, hard breaths.

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - NIGHT

A repulsorlift ambulance is parked near Lita's (Quick Nines') speeder. Two PARAMEDICS are loading Quel Liam and the gurney he lies on into the back. An oxygen mask covers his face, IV lines are plugged into his veins, and a heart-rate monitor beeps rapidly. Lita stands next to him with her arms folded defensively.

Quel Liam reaches out to grasp Lita's arm. She is pulled down by his sudden strength.

QUEL LIAM: "Lita... beware - the man in black!"

We close in on Lita's shaken face, as we WIPE TO:

EXT. SEEDY MOTEL - NIGHT

Lita pulls up in Quick Nines speeder. She gets out slowly and slams the door shut.

 

[Artellan]

Well done. The whole scene at the university (astro-archaeology - cool!) was extremely spooky. That poor professor - 'PINNED to the wall in an "X" by the remains of his portable computer'. Yikes. If I were the PCs, I'd be scared, since they're obviously going to have to go up against the dude that did that, sooner or later.

 

[LostSoul]

Mia and Envy

INT. SEEDY MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Lita enters. Raynor and Six-Four are watching a holo-vid - a low-budget, pro-Imperial Clone Wars flick that is focused on the clone troopers.

CLONE TROOPER: (on holo-vid) "Sir, the Jedi are leading a force of droids through the city! They mean to raze it to the ground and kill every man, woman, and child!"

Raynor flicks off the holo-vid and turns to look at Lita.

RAYNOR: "Lita - you look like you flew too close to a supernova. What happened?"

LITA: "I don't want to talk about it." She pauses. "Any luck with Agos?"

SIX-FOUR: "Nope. But we did figure out what these mystery stains are. You don't want to know."

Lita shakes her head.

LITA: "So what are we going to do? How are we supposed to find Agos now? I guess the Fixer has him."

RAYNOR: "Well, there's one person who knows." Lita and Six-Four look at him expectantly. "Mia. His girlfriend. Remember?"

SIX-FOUR: "I don't easily forget legs like that." He stands up and cocks his blaster. "So, what are we waiting for?"

WIPE TO:​

EXT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

A small line has formed outside the nightclub. A bright neon hologram that reads "Desire" flickers above their heads.

INT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

The nightclub is packed. All the tables are taken, the bar is lined with people, and others mill in the spaces between. An almost excited fatalism hangs over the crowd - the anxious sense of waiting for the inevitable, filling the time in-between with as much pleasure as possible. The hammer of the Empire hangs over these people, who are the steel to be tried.

The club is dark, brightened only by the ambient floor lighting and the faux-candles on the tables. A beat begins, slowly, somewhere in the darkness of the stage. The crowd quiets for the show.

A spotlight flares into being, giving life to Mia Endive, who walks sensuously to the microphone. She belts out a lonely song. As she sings, it is apparent that this nightclub - this place called Desire - must have been named after her.

Raynor, Six-Four, and Lita are standing in the middle of a stream of people. Each holds a drink. A WAITRESS walks by with a full tray. Raynor leans in and turns on the charm.

RAYNOR: "Hey baby, is there any chance we can see Mia tonight?"

The Waitress shifts her weight and holds the tray with two hands.

WAITRESS: "What do I look like, her booking agent?"

Raynor smiles and takes a drink off the tray. He leaves a sizable tip.

RAYNOR: "Just be sure to let her know that Raynor Onass would like to talk to her."

The Waitress smiles, nods, and leaves, braving the wall of people.

CUT TO:​

INT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

Mia has finished her set and the crowd has thinned out somewhat. The band continues to play soothing jazz. The Waitress approaches, this time without a tray and with a much better attitude.

WAITRESS: "I told Mia you wanted to see her. She's in her dressing room, at the back."

RAYNOR: "Thanks, baby."

CUT TO:​

INT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - MIA ENDIVE'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Mia's dressing room is small but sparse. She has some tasteful pieces of abstract art and photography hanging on the walls. A holo-screen, showing a stylized flight of swans and a series of pictograms, cuts off one corner of the room. Mia is sitting with her legs crossed before a bright mirror, taking off her make-up with a small laser-pen.

Raynor enters, followed closely by Six-Four. The bounty hunter can't seem to take his eyes off Mia's legs. Lita remains in the back with her arms crossed.

Mia doesn't look up.

MIA: "Raynor Onass. I had a feeling you'd come by to see me. I didn't think it would be so soon, but..."

RAYNOR: "I would have come sooner if I'd known you were here."

MIA: "Well, I'm flattered. I didn't think I was that great a crooner."

RAYNOR: "You're not."

Mia looks up and puts down her laser-pen. She stands up and steps behind the holo-screen, and begins to undress.

MIA: "So, what are you here for?"

RAYNOR: "We came to see Padre Agos."

MIA: "He's not here tonight."

SIX-FOUR: (straining to get a better look) "I never would have guessed."

RAYNOR: (jabbing Six-Four) "We thought you might know where he is."

MIA: "I have no idea. He left just after you and the Fixer."

RAYNOR: "You have no idea where he is? It's important. He might be in danger."

MIA: (getting dressed) "Really? I hope it has nothing to do with your business."

RAYNOR: "Oh, no. We just need to talk to him."

MIA: "I'm sorry, I really can't help you out."

She comes out from the holo-screen, dressed in a trendy clubbing outfit, and sits down before the mirror. She takes a pouch from a drawer and pours a small quantity of spice onto a glassy platter, which forms into a line of its own accord.

RAYNOR: "Still with the spice, Mia? I hoped you had kicked it."

MIA: "A girl's got to have her vices. Keeps her interesting." She snorts a line of spice and makes a face, then rubs her nose. "I'll tell Agos you came by when I see him." She traces her finger in the residue left over, and rubs it into her gums. "It was nice seeing you again, Raynor."

Raynor looks at the platter and sees the letters "5 nv" left on it. He nods.

RAYNOR: "It was good seeing you again. I'll try to come by more often."

MIA: "You do that."

Raynor leaves, and Lita follows him. Six-Four lingers a second longer, then leaves.

CUT TO:​

EXT. PADRE AGOS' NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

SIX-FOUR: "Well, that was a bust. A nice bust - and nicer legs - but we still have no idea where Agos is."

RAYNOR: "I think I've got a lead. There's an after-hours club called 'Envy' in the warehouse district. We'll probably have more luck there."

SIX-FOUR: "I think you could have gotten lucky with Mia. There's no need to go clubbing."

RAYNOR: "She left me a message. I think she wants to meet us there at five."

LITA: "Ah. The place was probably bugged."

SIX-FOUR: "I wouldn't mind looking in on that dressing room."

LITA: "Can't you just concentrate for one second?"

SIX-FOUR: "Just point out the bad guys. Then I'll show you concentration."

WIPE TO:​

EXT. ENVY AFTER-HOURS CLUB - NIGHT

Envy is a new after-hours club in a recently-emptied warehouse. The music is almost deafening, even from outside. The back door is open and smoke billows out into the pre-dawn air. Club kids huddle around each other in small groups by the door, sharing smokes and taking a moment to relax.

Raynor, Six-Four, and Lita walk up to the CASHIER'S booth. Two large human DOORMEN flank them. Both have scanners.

CASHIER: "Cover is 5 credits."

Raynor pays the cover.

CASHIER: "Uh... no illicit substances or... weapons. You can check them here."

RAYNOR: "No thanks, I'll just drop them off." He takes Lita's pistol, and Six-Four hands him his.

Raynor heads back to the speeder.

SIX-FOUR: "Hang on."

Six-Four takes out a vibro-knife and hands it to Raynor. Raynor turns to leave.

SIX-FOUR: "Wait a second..."

Six-Four pulls out a grenade and tosses it on the pile of weapons cradled in Raynor's arms.

RAYNOR: "That it?"

Six-Four reaches into his boot and pulls out a knife.

SIX-FOUR: "That's it." He turnst to the cashier. "Any problems with armour?"

CASHIER: "No, that's fine, it's all the rage these days."

Six-Four shrugs and submits to the Doormen's scanners. After he comes up clean, they wave him in.

INT. ENVY AFTER-HOURS CLUB - NIGHT

Pounding music is all we can hear. Flashing lasers and holograms make it difficult to make out anything in the club. We see some club kids dancing, but most of Envy's patrons line the walls and sit in the booths, trying to communicate with each other.

Raynor has a look around.

SIX-FOUR: (to Lita) "Want to dance?"

LITA: "What?"

SIX-FOUR: "Nevermind!"

LITA: "I can't hear you; it's too loud in here!"

SIX-FOUR: "What?"

Raynor pokes Six-Four. He's looking off in the distance.

RAYNOR: "I think I see Mia. You guys watch my back." He heads off into the smoke and darkness of the club. Six-Four and Lita take up flanking positions, covering the whole room.

The camera follows Raynor as he walks to a booth in the corner. Mia is sitting there, smoking, all leg. Her hair is up in a fan around her head. She exhales a cloud of pink smoke and waves Raynor over.

RAYNOR: "Hello Mia. Haven't seen this much of you for a long time."

Mia shakes her head and points at her ear. She leans into him, and we do an extreme close-up on her lips (coloured a pale shade of blue) a millimetre away from Raynor's ear.

MIA: "You'll have to speak up," she breathes.

RAYNOR: "So, I take it you know what Agos has been up to?"

MIA: "There isn't much about him I don't know. I know about the data disk and that you've worked out some kind of deal."

RAYNOR: "Then you know where he is?"

She leans back, and looks at Raynor, studying him; then she leans back in.

MIA: "Maybe I do, and maybe I don't. How do I know I can trust you?"

Mia leans back and her eyes narrow, a smirk forming on her face. She feigns a eureka look and moves into Raynor, kissing him hard. Raynor reciprocates.

When the kiss is finished, she leans back into him.

MIA: "Okay, I can trust you. Here's the deal: I want whatever you worked out with Agos, just in case something's happened to him, and passage off-planet for both of us."

RAYNOR: "You got it. Twenty-five thousand and a ride."

MIA: (nods) "Agos stashed the disk in the office of a droidworks factory over by exit 803. He's probably been picked up by the Fixer; I bet they're there right now, working him over. You'll want to hurry; I doubt he has much time left."

RAYNOR: "Thanks, Mia."

MIA: "No problem. I just hope the next time I see you there isn't so much business to take care of."

RAYNOR: "You can count on it."

Raynor leans back, then pauses for a moment.

RAYNOR: "One more thing."

Raynor kisses Mia passionately.

When the two finish, Raynor winks at Mia and stands up. He moves back through the fog to Lita.

Lita sees him coming, at points at Six-Four. The bounty hunter is watching a young woman, lost in them music, dancing topless. Raynor shakes his head a smiles, and Lita holds up her hands as if to say, "What did you expect?"

CUT TO:​

EXT. ENVY AFTER-HOURS CLUB - NIGHT

The group exits the club and walks towards their speeder.

RAYNOR: "NICE JOB," he shouts, then catches himself, starting again in a normal volume. "Nice job watching my back."

Six-Four shrugs.

SIX-FOUR: "I didn't think you were in too much trouble. Mia weighs what - a buck ten, twenty at most? I'm sure you could take her if something went down."

Raynor laughs.

RAYNOR: "Okay, here's the deal: Agos hid the disk at a droidworks factory. He's probably been grabbed by the Fixer, so we should expect some trouble."

SIX-FOUR: "Good." He reaches into the speeder and pulls out his pistol. "I'm all about trouble."

CUT TO:​

EXT. NALDAR CITY - NIGHT

Lita is piloting Quick Nines' airspeeder into the city. The traffic is light and she guns the engine, weaving in and out of traffic. Six-Four is in the back seat, rolling slightly, inspecting Quick Nines' remaining cybernetic eye. Raynor is sitting in the passenger seat, gripping the "oh poodu" handle.

RAYNOR: "You know, Lita, you could slow down just a little..."

Lita gives Raynor a look and smiles. Then she coaxes a little more speed out of her new toy and misses a large cargo hauler by inches.

RAYNOR: "Okay, I'll be quiet."

A comlink in the back beeps. Everyone looks around, surprised. Six-Four looks at the pile of equipment next to him and digs out a chrome comlink.

SIX-FOUR: "Looks like Quick Nines was popular."

RAYNOR: "Give me that."

Raynor flicks on the comlink.

RAYNOR: (doing his best Quick Nines impression) "Hello?"

VOICE: "Hey Quick Nines. The Fixer wants to know if the job's done."

RAYNOR: "Uh-huh."

VOICE: "So, no problems then?"

RAYNOR: "Uh-uh."

VOICE: "Not even Six-Four?"

RAYNOR: "Uh-uh."

VOICE: "Good. I guess we'll see you here soon then."

RAYNOR: "Yep."

VOICE: "Okay."

The comlink switches off. Everyone looks at Raynor, who smiles and shrugs - until Lita pulls another stunt, sending him grasping for the handle again.

 

[LostSoul]

A few notes about that last installment:

Playing out the Bluff where Raynor acted as Quick Nines was pretty cool. I tried to force him to say more than just one line - without breaking character as the goon who called him. As it was, I don't think I called for a Bluff check. Very funny scene.

I had the scene with Mia planned out in advance, and it worked well. Raynor threw in that kiss at the end, a very nice touch.

Next: Wrapping up Episode I.

 

[LostSoul]

The Droidworks factory and "To be continued..."

EXT. DROIDWORKS FACTORY - NIGHT

The droidworks factory is a massive building that would be considered squat if it didn't rise nearly one-thousand feet into the air. Smoke and green gas rise from exterior vents.

The Fixer and his men are already here. Six GOONS are hanging around a speeder, blocking the front entrance. Others are prowling about in the background. About a thousand feet up, more speeders are parked at platforms near the top of the building.

Lita slows down her speeder to a crawl and the engine purrs as she moves by. Some of the Goons wave to Quick Nines' speeder.

RAYNOR: "Park it around the back."

SIX-FOUR: "Maybe one of those platforms up there where nobody's watching."

Lita nods and the speeder shoots up hundreds of feet in seconds. She docks it next to a small grated platform. Everyone debarks.

LITA: "Alright, let's get inside before anyone sees us."

Six-Four pulls out a security kit from his belt. He shows it off for a second, getting flattering looks from Lita and Raynor, and then plugs it into the door's scomp-link. He plays with the kit and the door control, and the door flies open.

The interior of the mill is cast in a dark-red dusk, the kind that might fall at the end of the world. Industrial droids the size of houses are still at work, venting gases in high-pitched screams. Catwalks overlook all the equipment and the smelting pits a thousand feet down, the air sweltering even from up here.

Most of the catwalks link up in the middle of the mill where the Controller's Office stands on stilts of steel.

Lita and Six-Four look around cautiously, blasters ready, while Raynor strides over to a terminal.

LITA: "What are you doing?"

RAYNOR: "I'm going to see if I can get some blueprints of this place. I don't want to get lost on those catwalks trying to get to the office. Come on, give me a hand."

Lita and Six-Four help him at the terminal. Soon the screen displays a 3-D picture that rotates around. A red path lines the quickest route to the office.

RAYNOR: "See, that wasn't too hard." He keeps working.

LITA: "What are you doing now?"

RAYNOR: "See this exit - from the office to the roof? I'm thinking that we can slip out that way if things go bad. I'll trigger all the doors to lock down, and leave that one exit open."

SIX-FOUR: "Well, you better do it quickly..."

Six-Four nods over to a group of six GOONS, who have just arrived. Raynor stands up from the terminal.

GOON: "Hey. I guess you guys came in with Quick Nines."

RAYNOR: "Yep."

GOON: "Well, where is he? The Fixer wants to see him."

RAYNOR: "He already went up."

GOON: "Okay." He looks at the computer screen and sees the rotating 3-D blueprint with a path leading to the Controller's Office lit in red. He shrugs, and the Goons leave.

Raynor smiles.

LITA: "Phew. I thought we were dead there."

RAYNOR: "You need to learn to trust me."

LITA: "Just hurry up, will you?"

CUT TO:​

INT. DROIDWORKS FACTORY - CATWALK - NIGHT

The group is on a catwalk, heading to the office. They are darting between droids, taking cover from a group of four GOONS on a platform across a great drop.

They all crouch down behind one of the droids. Six-Four pokes his head around the corner. Raynor is fiddling with a comlink.

LITA: "Why do you keep fiddling with that thing? It's going to work, isn't it?"

RAYNOR: "Oh yeah, of course."

LITA: "You sure about that?"

RAYNOR: "Sure I'm sure. Don't you trust me?"

LITA: "Not really."

SIX-FOUR: "Shh, guys, I think -"

Six-Four is cut off by a loud hissing. The droid they were hiding behind rises up with a loud clanking, exposing them to the Goons across the divide.

GOON LEADER: "Hey, who are you? What are you doing over there?"

RAYNOR: "We're just going up to see The Fixer."

GOON LEADER: "Who are you? I don't recognize you."

RAYNOR: "I'm Raynor Onass. The Fixer asked to see me."

GOON LEADER: "I don't know you."

RAYNOR: "Well, who are you? I don't know you, either."

GOON LEADER: "I'm not the one creeping around."

RAYNOR: "Whatever. We're going to be late. You don't want to make us late for the Fixer, do you?"

GOON LEADER: "I'm going to call him."

The Goon Leader pulls out a comlink. Lita and Six-Four SPRING into action, pulling their blasters out in the blink of an eye. Six-Four draws a bead on the Goon Leader's comlink and BLASTS it out of his hand.

GOON LEADER: "! Kill them!"

Lita sends a bolt of fire at the Goon Leader, and he crumples into a ball. There is a furious exchange of fire over the chasm, and soon the Goons are either on the ground or retreating.

SIX-FOUR: "I think we better hurry up."

The group RUNS up the stairs at breakneck speed.

CUT TO:​

INT. DROIDWORKS FACTORY - CONTROLLER'S OFFICE - NIGHT

The group climbs up the catwalk that leads to the office. They are breathing heavily, trying to catch their breath after their run. Steam and shadows cover everything.

Though the steam, we make out about a half-dozen figures in the office, lit up by the glow of dozens of computer screens. At least three of them are working on a small safe. The Fixer has Padre Agos tied in a chair. He is alternating his questions to Padre Agos with blows from his pistol. Padre Agos is in a bad way.

SIX-FOUR: "I think one of us should sneak around. We'll catch them in a cross-fire."

RAYNOR: "No sweat."

Raynor sneaks off ahead of the other two, crouching low beneath the office windows, while Six-Four and Lita follow him. The camera closes in on Raynor as he sneaks by; above him, we can see the Fixer, and through the glass we can hear his distinctive, eerie voice.

THE FIXER: "This will all end if you just tell us the combination."

PADRE AGOS: "Uhh..."

Raynor stops. He seems to think about something for a moment; then, his curiosity getting the better of him, he PEEKS his head above the line of the window to get a look.

The Fixer's DEEP BLACK EYES look right into his.

RAYNOR: "Oops..."

From across the length of the office, Six-Four spots this.

SIX-FOUR: ", that's torn it."

Six-Four rises into full view of the GOONS and the FIXER. His pistol is in his hand, and he squeezes off a shot at the Fixer that SHATTERS the window into a million pieces. The Fixer dodges slightly, and the bolt burns his white suit.

Lita follows the bounty hunter's lead and snaps off a shot of her own, destroying another window. Her bolt sails wide and impacts with a computer terminal, showering a nearby Goon in sparks.

The Fixer's jaw seems to melt into liquid as it STRETCHES down, revealing a great empty blackness. He screams a high-pitched, atonal wail that reaches into our hearts and rips them out. He then throws a smoke grenade into the middle of the office, covering the ladder that rises to the roof. He disappears into the mist.

Raynor whips out his blaster and nails one of the Goons, who is pushed back into a computer by the force of the blow.

Six-Four and Lita keep firing into the office, dropping two more Goons before they can draw their weapons. The third one has the time to pull out a grenade, but his nerves are shaken to the breaking point. His throw misses the shattered window, hitting the door, and the grenade bounces back towards him. He only has time to look down at his feet and the live ordnance sitting between them before the grenade EXPLODES in a storm of metal shards.

Raynor pops up for another shot, but two of the remaining Goons are ready for him. Two bolts and one scream later, and Raynor lies on the ground, two blistering scars on his chest.

The Fixer appears on the roof of the office and continues climbing the ladder to safety. Lita spots him and blasts the ladder, sending the Fixer falling onto the office roof. The Fixer crouches, then grunts as he makes a desperate LEAP through the air. He grabs the last remaining rung of the ladder and disappears.

Six-Four and Lita move around the side of the office, clearing the smoke. They shatter another window as they send the two last Goons to their final reward.

LITA: "RAYNOR!"

Lita runs around to Raynor. She pulls out a hypo-syringe and injects Raynor, the syringe making a hissing sound.

Raynor's eyes flash open wide and he gasps for air. He looks down at his smoking chest.

RAYNOR: "Ooh, that's going to hurt in the morning..."

Lita helps Raynor up, and the enter the office. Six-Four has already untied Padre Agos and is trying to revive him.

SIX-FOUR: "Agos, you old bastard, wake up."

PADRE AGOS: "Whaa..."

SIX-FOUR: "Good to see you're doing well. Give us the combination so we can get out of here."

PADRE AGOS: "Two-four-alpha-eight."

Lita, still supporting Raynor, enters the code into the safe on the wall. The safe POPS open, revealing data disks and a stack of credit chips. Six-Four and Lita rummage through the disks while stuffing the credits into their pockets. Then Six-Four holds up the data disk they've been hunting for in triumph.

The group, with Padre Agos in tow, leaves the office. Over the railing, they can see dozens of the Fixer's thugs rushing up towards them.

RAYNOR: "Let's get out of here."

CUT TO:​

EXT. DROIDWORKS FACTORY - ROOF - NIGHT

Six-Four rushes to the edge of the massive building, avoiding venting steam that shoots into the air. Over the side, he sees an airspeeder landing. The Fixer is hanging out the side, yelling orders.

SIX-FOUR: "Raynor, I think this would be a good time to use that locking device of yours."

Raynor pulls out a comlink and flips a switch. Suddenly all the doors slam shut.

On the ground, the Fixer fires a pistol at the closed entrance. The bolt does nothing to the hardened door, and he gestures in frustration.

The group heads down a set of steel stairs to their parked speeder. Six-Four has Padre Agos slung over his shoulder, and Lita is helping Raynor as best she can.

CUT TO:​

EXT. DROIDWORKS FACTORY - SPEEDER PLATFORM - NIGHT

Everyone piles into their speeder. As Lita starts the engine, we can see three other speeders rising into the air, about to give chase...

FADE TO BLACK​

TO BE CONTINUED...

ROLL CREDITS