Stat that movie!

[Scupper]

Yes, it's time for a game of STAT THAT MOVIE!!!

Take a film and tell us the classes of the major characters, as well as dissecting some of the highlights of the film in d20 terms (core rules only, please). Feel free to point out the mistakes the films have made in interpreting the D&D rules!

Example:

Disney's Sleeping Beauty

Characters

Prince Phillip - At first glance, Prince Phillip seems like a paladin, but he's clearly just a mid-to-high level fighter, as his whimsical decision to flout his father's wishes and marry a "peasant girl" illustrate. Obviously Neutral or Chaotic Good. We'll call him a Fighter 10/Rogue 5 (he's quite adept at fighting without armor).

Maleficent - Despite her claim of being the "Queen of All Evil," it seems unlikely that Maleficent is much more than a talented Wizard. Her use of shapechange seems to be the upper limit of her powers (nothing epic, it would seem), so we'll call her Wizard 17.

Flora, Fauna and Merryweather (the Good Fairies) - Most of their spell use is simple prestidigitation and unseen servant-type trickery. However, it is apparent that they have some unique spell-like ability that allows them to grant a single wish (probably similar to the genie ability: 3 wishes/once per year to a non-genie, but only wish in their case). Each also has crafted a wand (or possibly a rod) with several charges of sleep, polymorph self (used to become very small) and other spells. Additionally, they seem able to cast minor transmutation spells at will (altering the color of a dress multiple times, for instance). Oddly, none of them has a familiar.

Flora is seen casting greater magic weapon and true strike, as well as a host of defensive spells. She is most likely a 12th-level Abjurer.

Fauna is perhaps the least powerful of the three fairies, displaying no major abilities beyond those common to all three. We'll assume Flora made her wand for her and peg her at 6th-level Enchanter.

Merryweather is the most aggressive of the fairies, the only one to cast a truly offensive spell (flesh to stone), and she seems to imply that she could cast polymorph other (despite the fact that Fauna denies it, it's obvious that any wizard who can cast flesh to stone--a sixth level spell--could most likely cast a fourth level spell as well). We'll rank Merryweather as an 11th-level Transmuter.

Princess Aurora - Clearly a gifted Bard, though by no means a high-level one. We really don't see Aurora do much but charm a few animals and fail a fort save vs. poison spinning wheel pricking. This, combined with her sylvan upbringing, probably makes her a Bard 1/Ranger 1.

Highlights

The birth/blessing/curse scene that introduces the film has a number of impressive magical displays, particularly from Maleficent, but also from the three fairies. Maleficent first appears either in gaseous form or, more likely, polymorphed into a will-o'-the-wisp. She casts scare, keeping the guards and spectators from rushing her, then proceeds to cast geas on the infant princess, forcing her to eventually do the whole finger-pricking routine.

Rules Gaffe: The fairies are clearly granting some sort of wish or limited wish to Aurora, so Merryweather's gift should have been able to totally reverse Maleficent's geas. Maleficent's spell would only be too strong for the fairies to overcome with remove curse.

Prince Phillip's escape from the Forbidden Mountain is full of fantastic skill checks--but also full of rules gaffes!

Flora does almost all the magical work here. She creates a "magic" sword and shield for Phillip (though it's obvious she's exaggerating, as she needs to cast greater magic weapon on the sword a short time later.) She also casts jump on Phillip's horse Sampson as he vaults the closing drawbridge. Merryweather does the old flesh to stone number on Maleficent's familiar which, understandably, really pisses off the old witch.

Rules Gaffe: Flora turns arrows into flowers and boulders into bubbles. It is unclear what spells she could use to create these effects, as they are clearly combat-related and not mere prestidigitation. Polymorph any object seems unrealistic, given the fact that it only affects a single object and is too high a level in any case.

Maleficent turns up the heat, casting wall of thorns in front of Phillip.

Rules Gaffe: Are we to believe that Maleficent is also a 9th-level druid? Oh, right, and she casts it enlarged, too? Clearly munchkinism.

Finally, for the big finale, Maleficent casts shapechange, turning herself into a huge black dragon. While it's size is obviously exaggerated for cinematic effect, it's puzzling that the dragon breathes fire instead of acid. But wait!...

Rules Gaffe: Even shapechange doesn't give you the supernatural abilities of the form taken! She couldn't use the breath weapon at all!

Clearly, even a wizard of Maleficent's rank probably doesn't have a lot of hit points, so Phillip's real problem is the dragon form's natural AC. Luckily, Flora casts true strike at the appropriate moment and Phillip probably rolls pretty well, too, as Maleficent takes a fatal blow.

Phillip wakes up Aurora (with the kiss specified in Merryweather's rather odd counter-geas), and they live happily ever after.

The End.

 

[Chrysoula]

Hee hee hee.

I'll have to see what I can come up with.

 

[CoopersPale]

That's great!

Do some more

What about the cast of buffy? I'd like to see them statted.

I expect buffy has some custom prestige classes though. Geez, you can do anything if you're a hollywood producer....

 

[DM_Matt]

That's great!

Do some more

What about the cast of buffy? I'd like to see them statted.

I expect buffy has some custom prestige classes though. Geez, you can do anything if you're a hollywood producer....

I've actually thought about this before. They are all pretty high level in this, b/c this is as of the end of season 6.

Buffy:
I'd consider the slayer a non-classed monster, or at least a template. She does not improve that much in fighting ability, and it seems that all slayers fight in extremely similar ways and are virtually exact matches for each other (reference: the buffy v kendra fight, esp.)

Dawn: Rogue 1-2. Fond of using Hide, Move Silently (both almost every episode), Use Magical Device (such as trying to use the raise dead "scroll"), tumble (avoided aoo stealing that monsters egg in the raising mom episode, and when trying to move through the zombies square in the s6 finale), sneak attacks (staking Justin, backstabbing the zombie). Might develop additional powers soon, will gain much power this season, if not slayerdom.

Giles: Fighter1/Rogue2/Bard 7/Loremaster 4: This guy has to be decently high level because he has been some types of "adventurer" for many years (besides, killing Glory prolly was worth a level in itself). He has massive amounts of knowledge (bardic knowledge, loremasterdom, middling fighting ability, proficiencies with pretty much any weapon, most likely from his watcher training (fighter level), was a street thug for a while (rogue2, has decent lockpicking abilities), has decent spellcasting ability, and, although he hides it, has significant musical ability (Perform: Acoustic Rock).

Oz: Human Bard 5-7, Werewolf template. Low-lelvel b/c he got little action. Lots of musical talent (bardic music), rivaling Willow in intellect, at least by test scores, and with lots of practical knowledge, esp with technology (the above 2: bardic knowledge), decent fighting and some weapon profs (bards have that).

Spike: Fighter 11/Bard 8. Into poetry and knows a bit about magic. Able to cast with rituals/items/scrolls (UMD). As good at fighting as anyone on the show, only marginally weaker than Buffy (better than most slayers, as he has killed two b4...Buffy, however, if the longest-lived slayer ever, so is obviously slightly more powerful than her predecessors)

Willow: Wiz18. Buffyverse wizards are pretty good approximations of DnD wizards. At the end of this past season, before she with the dark magic powerup thing, she cast gate to summon the god Osiris, although she failed the negotiations stage. Thus, she must cast L9 spells. She once incinerated a reasonably powerful demon with a word. She Quickens most of her spells nowadays. She is particularly fond of Walls of Force and telekinesis, and even used the munchkin TK a bag of daggers trick once. She could do walls of force without difficulty at the beginning of S5, although she could not quicken them and had trouble with teleports. But over then next two seasons, she gained power rapidly, casting some wish-like magic, polymorphing, etc, and having enough spell slots to use magic for everyday tasks. At the end of S6, she even energy drained Glory and used her power to heal Tara, although with difficulty. In fact, at that point, she was able on two separate occasions to do significant damage to Glory, a god.

Xander: Fighter1/Warrior17. While he had little formal training (implanted knowledge from the Soldier-Xander-Holloween incident provided him with the benefits of US Army basic training), he has nonetheless racked up tremendous amount of XP over time. (It was implied that he patrolled with Buffy throughout high school at least, and in season 5, Buffy asserted to the Council of Watchers that Xander "clocked more time in the field than all of [them] combined." The level was also influenced by the fact that he would have roughly the same amount of XP as Willow, whose spellcasting abilities make her very high level.

 

[Scupper]

John Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China

Note: Some of the characters described here use non-core classes and feats from Oriental Adventures and Sword and Fist.

Characters

Jack Burton - Jack is clearly adept at making the best use of his reflexes, but displays a comical incompetence with non-monk weapons, which he inexplicably chooses to use through most of the film. His most impressive act in the film showcases his use of the "snatch arrows" feat from Sword and Fist and we can deduce his likely maximum statistics from that feat's requirements. Monk 4 (to get the minimum BAB of +3 for the feat), with a Dexterity of 14-15. Feats include improved unarmed strike (auto), deflect arrows (auto), snatch arrows. Some might argue for a level or two of Expert to reflect his work as a truck driver, but it is clear that he is neither a good truck driver nor a good businessman (note his struggles with his insurance company).

Wang Chi - Wang seems to get better and better as the film progresses, likely because he is getting more XP than Jack (probably by DM fiat, as technically they are in a party and should share the XP, regardless of the fact that Wang does 95% of the fighting). By the end of the film, we've seen Wang successfully take on Rain mano a mano, so we can assume that Wang is more powerful than the weakest of the Three Storms. Wang is probably an 8th-level Monk by this point, as he can clearly use the "leap of the clouds" ability to jump further than a normal person could.

Egg Shen - Though often referred to as a "sorcerer," Egg is quite clearly a Wu Jen. He is gruff and secretive and dislikes company. Like Jack, Egg is clearly undeserving of a level of Expert, as his driving is atrocious. Egg uses the spell fire seeds repeatedly, and that seems to be his best move, so we'll place him at 12th-level Wu Jen.

Lo Pan - Like Egg, Lo Pan is probably a Wu Jen with the addition of the ghost template, and we see that Lo Pan is slightly more powerful one-on-one than Egg. In a highly plot-dependent rules interpretation, Lo Pan manages to lose the ghost template toward the end of the film. He clearly does not take on the lich template, as some have suggested, as no phylactery is located and there was no sequel. We'll place Lo Pan at 14th-Level Wu Jen.

The Three Storms - Rain, Lightning and Thunder are almost a prototypical group of "evil adventurers," and two of the three are quite powerful. It's worth noting that they all posess hats of levitation.

Thunder, the ostensible leader of the group, clearly outmatches Wang Chi at the end of the film, and the best that Wang can do is fight defensively the entire time. He seems quite in control of his own metabolism, and we'll assume he's got the "diamond body" ability down (though it's not shown in the film). Clearly he also posesses a cursed item that casts enlarge on him, but eventually causes him to explode messily. We'll peg Thunder at 11th-level monk.

Lightning, the go-to guy. Lightning is obviously a multiclassed character, and more than likely a shugenja. His hand-to-hand prowess is untested in the film, and likely inferior to his fellows. We see him cast lightning bolt at least four times during the course of the film, but that's about all he knows at that level. We'll place Lightning at 11th-level shujenga (soshi school, most likely)/1st-level monk.

Rain the weak one. Who let this guy into the club? No mystical abilities to speak of, and not even particularly powerful in melee. Rain shows about the same level of monk development as Wang Chi, but is not quite able to best Wang, despite the fact that Wang has been fighting several other people before encountering Rain. He does have "leap of the clouds" going for him, but that's about it. We'll call him a 7th-level monk.

Highlights and Rules Gaffes

Big Trouble is remarkably gaffe-free. It should be noted that Carpenter is a pretty forgiving DM, as he throws very few challenging NPCs at the heroes, and only three monsters: an overgrown Eyeball (from Monsters of Faerun), a Carrion Crawler-like thing, and a rather stunted, unarmed Ogre.

 

[Scupper]

Okay, having violated it numerous times in my previous post, I hereby retract the admonition to only use Core Rules.

Go nuts.

 

[JacktheRabbit]

Having little time or ability to things like this I await someones answer for Willow.

 

[Scupper]

Displaying just how much time I have on my hands:

The Princess Bride

Characters

Westley/Man in Black/Dread Pirate Roberts - Where to begin? Westley learns quite a bit while away from the farm. He clearly has levels of duellist (from Sword and Fist). Additionally, he has very high stats (particularly Strength, Dexterity, and Intelligence). He's a clever speaker, with a high Bluff skill ("...perhaps I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to move..."). He obviously has a lot of skill points, necessitating a high Intelligence and a few levels of rogue. We'll sit Westley at Rogue 3/Fighter 5/Duellist 7/Dread Pirate (natch) 3, seating him at an impressive 19th level.

Prince Humperdink - Well, he's quite a tracker, reknowned as the greatest huntsman alive, so he'll need to be a pretty high level Ranger (though, strangely, he doesn't dual-wield or have any animal companions and we really have nothing to compare him to, ranger-wise). He's clearly a rogue as well, bluffing and intimidating all over the place. Still, he's really no match for any of our heroes. Ranger 8/Rogue 4/Aristocrat 2.

Inigo Montoya - Pure duellist. There's really not much to Inigo outside of swordsmanship and a burning need for revenge. Well, he can sail, too, though not that well. Fighter 6/Duellist 7.

Vizzini - Pure rogue. Vizzini has a high Intelligence and a chronically low Wisdom score. He's not particularly good at anything except watching his own plans fall apart. Rogue 4.

Fezzig - Fezzig is probably a runty Hill Giant. We'll give him Rogue 3, as he is remarkably good at Moving Silently for somebody his size, and manages to intimidate a lot of Warrior 1's outside the castle.

Count Roogan - Well, a bit of a mix here. He's nowhere near as competent as Inigo, obviously, but he's got sneak attack down pat. We'll call him a Fighter 4/Rogue 6/Assassin 1. Luckily, Inigo makes his fort save vs. Roogan's death attack.

Miracle Max - As the only magic weilder in the film, Max is something of an enigma. He is clearly able to cast raise dead, so he's at least a 9th-level cleric. In fact, he doesn't do much else, so we'll leave him at that.

Buttercup - She's pretty wimpy, but remarkably resistant to Intimidation attempts. Commoner 1, with a very high Will save. She must have the Iron Will feat, because her wisdom is clearly not stratospheric, considering she can't penetrate Westley's rather minimalistic disguise early on.

Highlights and Gaffes

Aside from some rather loose interpretations of the rules for detecting poisons, bluffing, and tumbling, the film has few rules gaffes. It is difficult to understand exactly why Miracle Max lacks confidence, though we can probably chalk that up to a campaign severely lacking in Undead for him to turn (which can really make clerics feel useless).

One notable Gaffe is the use of a subdual "coup de grace" by a mere Warrior 1 on Westley. Pure DM fiat, there, as it violates both the letter and the spirit of the rules. Westley isn't really even helpless in that scene. Unless we're willing to grant that a nameless character seen only once has at least one level of assassin, this is a difficult scene to buy.

A lot of things in this movie smell of DM fiat, as it's hard to believe that a 19th level character like Westley would have any serious difficulty with the obstacles presented to him. He's smarter, faster, and more skillful than anyone he runs into, but he has problems because he gets grappled by one pansy-ass wererat? Come on!

 

[Scupper]

Having little time or ability to things like this I await someones answer for Willow.

Okay, this madness has to stop. I promise this is the last one.

Willow

Characters

Willow - A pretty iffy sorcerer, if ever there was one. Willow is clearly a low-to-mid-level halfling rogue with a decent, but not amazing Use Magic Device skill. His attempts to use a wand of polymorph other are comically inept, and he wastes about two dozen charges trying to get Fin Raziel back into human form. His Bluff skill is good enough to fool evil Queen Bavmorda, though she doesn't seem to have a very high Sense Motive anyway. We'll call Willow a Rogue 5/Sorcerer 1 by the end of the film.

Madmardigan - Basically a fighter with few social skills. We see Madmardigan fail a Will save (vs. the spell causing him to fall in love with Sorsha), which is typical of a fighter. However, he also fails a Forititude save vs. Bavmorda's polymorph other, which is indicative of a relatively low level, overall. Madmardigan checks in as a Fighter 8/Rogue 2.

Queen Bavmorda - Well, a Transmuter, obviously, as that's just about all the magic she uses in the film. She's clearly made herself at least one wand of polymorph other, as she casts the spell an ungodly number of times toward the end of the film. Her trick freezing all the soldiers in Tiras Lee seems to have involved some variant of flesh to stone, but that's never made clear. Additionally, it's not at all clear she was even there, indicating she may have vast range for her powers. Conservatively, we'll place her at Transmuter 12.

Sorsha - Displays a decent fighting ability, but not really comparable to Madmardigan. Most likely, she's a fighter 8 like him, but lacks his rogue levels, which gives him the edge.

Fin Raziel - It's unclear what Fin was capable of in her heyday, but it's abundantly clear she's no match for Bavmorda, and probably never was. Fin checks in at about Sorcerer 8, with some stat loss (notably Charisma, which is vital to sorcerers).

General Kael - Kael is a pretty tough customer, cutting a swath through the good guys at every opportunity. He gives Madmardigan quite a fight and seems to be tougher than the hero. Kael is likely a Fighter 6/Blackguard 4, though he shows a remarkable dearth of feats. It's quite possible he's just not very bright and therefore doesn't make good use of the feats he possesses.

Highlights and Gaffes

We can only speculate at the manner by which Bavmorda incapacitates the garrison at Tiras Lee, because it happens off-screen. A likely scenario is that she scrys on the fortress, teleports there while protected by improved invisibility and then uses a wand of flesh to stone on each of the guards, who are all Warrior 1's and therefore incapable of handling an invisible opponent. A stretch, but nothing compared to her later antics on the battlements. Bavmorda then teleports back to her fortress and lets the ignorant populace believe that she can cast spells on targets she can't even see.

Trolls have no inherent spider climb ability in Core Rulebook III, though it's possible the creatures infesting the ruins of Tiras Lee are some sort of variant troll, or that they have a template applied to them. They don't display much in the way of Regeneration either, for that matter.

Willow's attempts to use the polymorph other wand on Fin Raziel illustrate the difficulty in using the Use Magic Device skill. He's trying to fake an effective Wizard caster level of 7, meaning he's got to get a total roll of 27 (caster level = result - 20). He's probably a Rogue 4 at this point in the film, meaning his maximum number of ranks in the skill is 7. His Charisma bonus is probably not very good, as he's a truculent, argumentative peck with few social skills, so we'll say he has a Cha of 10 (and that's generous). So he's looking for a natural 20 on this roll. It's no wonder he gets so many mishaps.

The scene in which Bavmorda casts polymorph other on just about every soldier in the attacking army is just plain silly. Even if she had a nice supply of wands to provide the castings, it's clear that she doesn't take an action for every one of her targets. Bending the rules a little may let her use a wand of quickened polymorph other, but it is pure munchkinism to believe that she could still cast so many spells in a single turn (plus it would mean she'd have to be at least a Transmuter 15 to make the wand). The fact that nobody whips out a longbow and nails her with it is also rather ludicrous (though she may have protection from arrows up, we don't even see anybody try). It's also pretty unbelievable that not one soldier in the entire army makes his Fort save.

It's nearly inconceivable that Bavmorda's Spellcraft skill is too low to see through Willow's cheesy "disappearing baby" Bluff attempt at the end of the film, but we can probably chalk that one up to a really poor roll on her part vs. a great one on his. Such are the fortunes of the d20 system.

 

[Hakkenshi]

Erm...what about Mass Polymorph???