D&D 5E Tales From The Awning Pothole

[rgoodbb]

His Magic initiate feat had given him prestidigitation, find familiar and one other cantrip that he had still to choose. What would work here? He chose.........

......Instead to call back to Johnny who had of course the Mariner fighting style. Fighting Mariners was darned more easy than cages or tunnels, and he took to it like plenty more ducks in the sea. (Mixed enough?)


Meanwhile the Statuette had started talking to Johnny in his mind. It had a deep but rich voice full of vibrato and it was saying..............

it was saying..........."Breaststroke, not front crawl you buffoon you'll eat salt. Keep your head up. Chin Chin and all that. what, what, quite so dear boy quite so."

 

[BoldItalic]

Fixed up.

As Johnny listened to the voice it occurred to him to try seeing if he could pry out the gems to sell them. As he fiddled with the statuette's eyes, there was a click and the voice changed subtly - it started telling a story. But it was a crazy story about people he didn't know and places he had never been, where nonsensical things happened for no good reason.

Terri rose to the occasion. She had been to a gals' boarding school, after all, and that instilled a certain steely resolution with echoes of the mem sahib of the Raj, not to mention an accent that could freeze a peasant at thirty paces. She hadn't been Ceptain of the Second Lacrosse Tim for nothing.

"Right!" she declared. "Here's the plan. Front rank advance and hold fire. Second rank, prepare attack spells and wait for my command. Third rank in reserve. You and you, hold the right flank. That's it, cheps. Bully orf!"

Johnny was quite interested in the story, but he didn't want to pay attention to it right now because it didn't seem to have much tunnel-fighting in it. What's the good of a story where nothing happens? So he put the statuette down and it stopped reciting. He picked it up and it started talking again, at the point in the story it had stopped. Okay, so that's how it worked, he thought. But he was bored with his toy. He had heard enough.

Meanwhile ClaW, having failed to attract Johnny's immediate attention and being left to his own devices, had decided to learn the Shape Water cantrip¹ and was making waves out of the seawater to sloosh himself about. This was fun. He looked around for his skeletons to sloosh them about too and discovered something astonishing. Skeletons dissolve in Dead Sea Water. In fact, the reason the Dead Sea is so full of minerals is because of all the skeletons that have fallen in there over tens of thousands of years and dissolved in it. And, of course, that's why it's called the Dead sea. Because it's full of dead.²

ClaW decided he didn't like swimming around in it any more. It was a bit off-putting, knowing that. So he slooshed himself to the shore and walked out to find Johnny and the others. He was suddenly aware of Tippy's mind, somewhere nearby ...

Johnny One-Eye (Party Splitter, Human Champion Tunnel/Cage Fighter-3; magic khopesh that never misses, Eagle of Tales, 17 g.p.)
1 Hobgoblin Retainer Controlled by Johnny One-Eye
4 Utterwolves Utterly Faithful to Johnny One-Eye
ClaW (Lobster; Tippy's ex-familiar; Boomerang)
Micromanage (ClaW's familiar; Miniature Human Wizard-½; Knobbly Staff, Pointy Hat)
Ha! Fling! (Hobbit of The Planes; three stones, griffon feather hat, 17 g.p.)

¹ Elemental Evil Player's Companion, p.21
² Don't believe all that stuff about salt being washed down into the Dead Sea by rivers, and evaporation and so on. It's a myth put about by the tourist industry.

 

[BoldItalic]

Mishak returned to cult headquarters in the Temple of Aššur and told High Priest Balthak what had happened. The news that four demons and four angels had apparently teamed up was extremely worrying, because according to the dogma they were supposed to be on opposite sides and if this was some sort of shift in the cosmic power balance he, Balthak, needed to know about it to make sure he ended up on the winning side.

Balthak selected ten expendible cultists and charged them with returning with Mishak to the scene of battle, to search out the demons and destroy them. He promised them that if the died doing his holy work, Aššur would give them eternal bliss in any paradise of their chosing. He promised them gold for every demon they slew. He promised them promotion from Cultist to Zealot. He would have promised them the moon except the moon god Nanna-Sîn belonged to his opposite number in the temple down the street and they had an agreement.

The cultists, led by Mishak and numbering eleven, which was a propitious number, set off on their mission. They soon picked up the trail of Tippy and the others, but it was slightly puzzling that, alongside the four pairs of footprints they expected, there were four pairs of slither marks resembling the tracks made by serpents. They came to the natural, but totally wrong, conclusion, that the slither marks were made by the four demons and the footprints were those of the four angels.

Hastening up the path, they espied the silver-covered demon (Tippy), the she-demon with the tusks of a boar (Tasha), and the Demon of the Papyrus Tablets (Inannyunot). There was no sign of the Demon-Who-Spat-Knives (Albert), but that was because he was silently following them and they hadn't noticed. Nor was there any sign of the angels but that was all to the good because they didn't want to have to fight angels. The cultists began a vigorous chant to embolden themselves and drive away evil spirits. It was a very loud chant, sung perfectly in unison, and carried all the way to the shores of the Dead Sea where, had they but known it, it alerted Johnny and his friends who started cautiously approaching to see what was going on.

The silver-covered demon dropped some sticks on the ground and arranged them in a pattern. Perhaps this was a glyph of some kind? Best not to wait to find out. Raising his hands, Mishak signalled for the chanting to stop and spell-casting to begin. Ten cultists simultaneously threw Hold Person at Tippy and one of them got lucky but they didn't know which one, so they all had to maintain concentration just in case. The reason it wasn't eleven was that Albert had already double-backstabbed the rearmost cultist who immediately went to the paradise with sherbet and nubile young ladies and found it surprisingly crowded.

Then the Demon of The Tablets did something truly devastating - it conjured up a storm of ice and frozen rain¹ that darkened the sky and pelted the brave cultists with hailstones so they could no longer see at all and threw their hands over their faces in fear. Not only that, but the falling hailstones covered the ground in slippery ice in a way that few of them had ever experienced and five of them lost their footing and fell over. Six of them also lost concentration on the Hold Person spells and, unluckily, it included the only one who was actually holding the silver-covered demon. Tippy sprang free.

And what of the she-demon? She of the whirling blade? Tasha moved forward, just short of the edge of the magical storm, and waited to see if any cultist would be foolish enough to try to escape its ferocity. If he did, he would meet her halberd before he even saw what was coming.²

It was at this moment that, unbeknownst to the cultists who couldn't see a thing, the ranks of the demons were swelled by the arrival of a tunnel demon (Johnny), a half-demon (Ha! Fling!), a clawed demon (ClaW), four furred demons (the utterwolves) and a hobgoblin-demon who all came dashing up from the shore to join forces with their old friends.

Moving blindly, bumping into each other and falling over frequently, the ten cultists tried to get out of the sleet storm. Some cast Light cantrips but it didn't help much. In desperation, they began a new chant which at least helped them locate each other so that they could start to spread out in a more co-ordinated way.

Inannyunot took advantage of the chanting to target a Fireball at where the sound seemed to be concentrated. He didn't immediately know what effect this had, except that the chanting faltered and continued again, a little less strongly.

The twelve demons made a plan for what to do when the chanting cultists eventually emerged. The plan was this ...


¹ Sleet Storm spell.
² Readied action. She was outside the storm cylinder, so she was unaffected by it, but the 10ft reach of her halberd extended into it so she could strike with advantage against any creature that was still just inside.

 

[BoldItalic]

The plan was this ...

Inannyunot would keep the storm going for as long as possible to keep the cultists disorganised. Tasha, Johnny, Albert, the four utterwolves and the hobgoblin would spread out around the periphery of the storm, ready to make melee attacks on any individual cultists who emerged. Meanwhile, ClaW would send his boomerang looping repeatedly through the storm hoping to hit cultists more or less by chance but mainly to worry them and maybe waste spells trying to defend against it (since they couldn't see it and wouldn't know what it was). Ha! would toss stones into the storm on the same basis. Tippy would summon his angels again and be ready to move to give support wherever it seemed most needed, using the Sacred Flame cantrip or whatever spells seemed appropriate.

That was the plan. It was a good plan, but like all plans it didn't quite work out that way.

The cultists used their chanting to co-ordinate their actions and, having found each other, they linked arms and marched purposefully forward in two ranks, catching one another as they slipped. They all cast Shield of Faith and Spiritual Weapon as they moved. The boomerang and the stones alas had little effect because they couldn't see them and could barely hear them above the noise of the hailstorm so they simply didn't worry about them.

The entire band of nine cultists (one had succumbed to the fireball) marched out of the storm straight in front of the hobgoblin who was immediately attacked by the combined onslaught of nine Spiritual Weapons and died on the spot.

Seeing the plan in disarray, Inannyunot cancelled the hailstorm so that the others could move to attack the cultist's formation, which they did. It was hand-to hand fighting now but the cultists still had plenty of spell slots left too and were dangerous to take on, en masse. Tasha, Johnny and Albert quickly took down two cultists between them from the front rank while the four utterwolves took out one from the back, but this still left six cultists standing. Tippy moved forward with his angels swirling about him and the cultists were impressed enough to regard this silver demon as possibly a minor deity, but it didn't deter them from wanting to attack all the other demons because they had been promised gold for every one they killed and so far they had only scored 'one'. Thinking quickly, Tippy hurled a Sacred Flame at one of the remaining three front-rankers and was rewarded by seeing him wince but he didn't fall; these cultists were well-trained and tough.

Tasha was singled out next, the she-demon with the tusks of a boar and the whirling blade of death. She howled as six Inflict Wounds spells converged on her and would have been felled but half-orcs have Relentless Endurance and she stayed on her feet to use her Second Wind and keep fighting. With a flurry of halberd blades she dropped one man where he stood and followed through with a Sweeping Attack Maneuver to injure another front-ranker, whom Albert finished off. Johnny, meanwhile ran around the back of the cultists and threw one to the ground and held him in a wrestling hold while his loyal utterwolves loyally slaughtered it with their fangs. Just three cultists remained. Tippy advanced and saw them shrink back from the angels but raise their hands defiantly as if to cast spells to ward them off. They thought for a moment that they had succeeded, for the angels suddenly vanished and a flicker of hope rose in their minds, but Tippy was casting Silence over them and they could use no more spells. They still had their Spiritual Weapons up and they bravely struck at Tippy but it was a futile guesture and they went to paradise with their fellows.

After healing Tasha and consoling Johnny over the loss of his hobgoblin, Tippy led the party to a secluded spot away from the scene of carnage and called a short rest. Albert produced a clay tablet that he had recovered from the body of one of the cultists, and passed it to Inannyunot to translate. It made interesting reading ...

• Tippy (Cleric-5; Hammer, Potion of Limited RetConning, Oyster Shell, 17 g.p.) Inspiring Leader
• Inannyunot (was Igoatunot/Ikidunot/Toothpaste/Macfeece) (Wizard-5 Conjurer with 3x/day headbutt attack; books, clay tablet, Oyster Shell)
• Tickle (Juvenile Kraken, Inannyunot's familiar; plenty of ink)
• Albert (Sinister Thief-5; 3 daggers, magic club, 26 g.p., TotM pole, Oyster Shell) Dungeon Delver
• Tasha (Half-Orc/Half-Orc Fighter-4 Battlemaster; Versatile Double Halberd +1 of Dragon Summoning & Sling, Oyster Shell, 17 g.p.) Heavy Armor Master
• Ha! Fling! (Hobbit of The Planes; three stones, griffon feather hat, 17 g.p.)
• Johnny One-Eye (Human Champion Tunnel/Cage Fighter-3; magic khopesh that never misses, Eagle of Tales, 17 g.p.)
• 4 Utterwolves Utterly Faithful to Johnny One-Eye
• ClaW (Lobster; Tippy's ex-familiar; Boomerang) Magic Initiate
• Micromanage (ClaW's familiar; Miniature Human Wizard-½; Knobbly Staff, Pointy Hat)

 

[rgoodbb]

There was definately a breeze. She was sure she felt it, but he said he didn't, so maybe she didn't. The wind did howl outside the walls however so maybe it was just her imagination. There. She felt it again. This place was a little......cold. The grand fireplace was well lit as were all the sconces and braziers/brassieres around the large hall.

Tap, tap, tap. - She tapped her fingers along the side of the bench. She looked at him. He was steady and looking forward. She looked down again, and then back up.

"Darling."

"Hmmm?"

"These........Friends of yours....."

"Yes?"

"....How.....well do you know them?"

"They'll be here."

"Soon?"

"Yes"

"With......a Dragon?"

"Yes....She's really quite lovely you know."

"Who Flora?"

"Yes."

"It is a nice name for a dragon I suppose....."

Tap, tap, tap...........There was that breeze again. She did feel it.

The Holy Man both patiently and nervously looked at her and then him and then at the door.......

Ps. I'm away for a couple of days so won't be posting for a bit.

 

[BoldItalic]

Ps. I'm away for a couple of days so won't be posting for a bit.

Okay, I'll try to keep the thread warm. Maybe [MENTION=29398]Lanefan[/MENTION] can throw me a few "unexpected developments"? Or anybody else? It doesn't hurt, I promise ...

 

[BoldItalic]

Something was wrong. Tippy knew something was wrong. Johnny was brooding about something, but it wasn't that. The wizard had his head in a book, as usual, but it wasn't that. Tasha seemed happy enough, honing her halberd and singing quietly to herself. It wasn't that. Albert was nowhere to be seen, probably stealing the sunset, thought Tippy. It wasn't that.

He glanced across to where Tickle lay on the sand, some way from the campfire, seemingly asleep. It wasn't ... Tippy sat up with a jerk. Octokraken's don't sleep! "Goat!" he shouted, "Tickle's in trouble!"

Tickle was twitching his tentacles feebly and slowly changing from green to greener and back again. His unblinking eye looked oddly dull. "What's wrong?" asked Tippy, kneeling beside the creature and feeling for signs of fever.

"Water ... need water ... too long ... sorry ... tell mother ..." came the feeble reply.

"Wait," said Inannyunot, consulting The Care and Feeding of Kraken, "it says here ... kraken need large bodies of water to swim and feed in. If kept too long away, death will follow in a matter of days ... Oh, no! Tippy! What can we do?"

Tasha came running over. An idea flitted through her mind as she remembered something from weeks earlier. "There's a chance," she said and added, with uncharacteristic tenderness, "Don't give up, little fellow!" She stepped a short distance away and began twirling her magic halberd to summon a dragon. She just hoped it would be the right one.

It was.

"Archie," shouted Tasha, "You told us once that you went fishing in Loch Feece and they called you the Loch Feece Monster? Is it true?"

"Aye, lass, as trrrew as ah'm standin' heerrr."

"Can you take Tickle quickly to Loch Feece and drop him in? It's urgent."

"Aye. Tha purrr wee thang. But one o' yoos mun rrride o' ma back and carrry him. Whae's it ta be?"

"I'll go," replied Inannyunot without hesitation. "He's my responsibility. Besides, I've heard they have a wonderful library in Castle Feece." And so saying, he scooped up the dying kraken in his arms and clambered onto Archie's back. "Remember the oyster shells!" he called to the others as he departed.

The atmosphere was subdued in the camp after that. They just hoped that Archie would get there in time and that Tickles would recover. Otherwise, there wasn't a lot more they could do. It was in the lap of the gods.

Johnny petted his wolves, who licked his hand adoringly. "Tickles isn't the only one who is out of his element," he commented. "I need to get back to Polearms Lacey. It's where I belong."

"We'll be sorry to see you go," said Tippy, "We haven't always seen eye-to-eye but your help has been invaluable. Take this potion, as our parting gift." So saying, he offered Johnny the Potion of Limited RetConning. "Use it to get back in time to where you were happiest to be," added Tippy, "And may the gods go with you."

Johnny was overcome with Tippy's generosity and offered him the Eagle statuette in return. "It's all I have," he explained. "It tells stories if you press the eyes. Just a toy, really, but someone might like it."

Tippy accepted the gift graciously and tried it out. His eyes grew round with wonder. "This is the voice of Terri House-Tranger herself!" he exclaimed. "Duke Cholmondeley's intended! She is telling the tale of her own adventures! How utterly marvellous! This will be the perfect wedding present for his grace!"

"Then we part as friends," said Johnny, and he walked away a little distance towards the setting sun before turning, giving a last salute and quaffing the potion. A time portal shimmered into existence and his faithful wolves dashed into it after him before it closed forever.

 

[BoldItalic]

"This gift reminds me that I must make tracks for the Duke's castle soon, if I am to there by springtime for the wedding," mused Tippy. "Yet we are far away in this strange land. Can we get home by plane-hopping?"

This last question was addressed to Ha! and she thoughfully juggled her three stones, keeping them all in the air at once, before replying. "Possibly ... or possibly not. We can try. But it will take several hops and things could easily go wrong."

"In that case, you'll need backup," asserted Tasha, "Me."

"In that case, you will need a front man," asserted Albert. "Me."

"You can't leave your old buddy behind," pointed out Claw, "Or his familiar."

"My friends," replied Tippy, "I am cheered by your expression of support and comradeship. Let us go forth and entrust our fate to the gods. Meanwhile, I will cast an Augury." So saying, he tossed his divining sticks on the ground and then frowned, for they fell into a pattern that could not possibly have happened by pure chance. Groups of sticks formed letters and the letters spelled out words and the words spelled out a brief but pithy message from the goddess Iris.

The followers of Aššur are amassed behind yonder hill.
In numbers 589 are they reckoned.
Vengeance do they seek for eleven comrades slain by thy hand.
Tarry not lest thou be slain without mercy.
​

"I think we should go NOW!" exclaimed Tippy, gathering up Claw and linking arms with Albert and Tasha. Ha! grabbed Albert and Tasha's other hands and walked.

It was night when they teleported suddenly into the village of Norton Fitzwarren ...

 

[BoldItalic]

Tap, tap, tap...........There was that breeze again. She did feel it.

Something brushed Terri's cheek, causing shivers to run up and down her spine. She didn't dare to put her hand up to see if there was something there, in case there was. Then there was a peculiar odour that gave her a sudden sense of deja vu, as odours sometimes do. It was something quite unique she had smelled once before, but she couldn't remember when. It reminded her of ... she didn't know what. Something or someone. It was maddening, not being able to place it. She shifted uneasily in her seat. She was unsettled. Cholmondeley had noticed nothing, not even how she was feeling. How could a man be so insensitive?

Tap, tap, tap ... went her fingers.

TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP came the drumbeat reply.

What??? she screamed inside her head. Am I going mad?? It came again, but this time it seemed to have words. She didn't want words. Please, not words.

Ballnard perished fighting with you,
Magic made he, drum a-beating.
Said he loved you, offered marriage,
Stole your heart in moment fleeting.​

Suddenly, the memories came flooding back. Cholmondeley looked up as she fled the room, running, running, running, along stone passages, up flights of stairs, down oak-panelled corridors lined with suits of armour, and into her own room where she locked the door, pulled a chair against it and threw herself on her bed, sobbing.

No-one came. She was alone.

She was not alone.

 

[BoldItalic]

It was night when they teleported suddenly into the village of Norton Fitzwarren ...

"There should be an inn around here somewhere," suggested Tippy, putting up a Light cantrip. "Albert, have a scout around, there's a good fellow."

"HORSEMEN!"

A troop of uniformed guards came riding swiftly towards them down the road, bearing torches to light their way. Tippy surprised the others by standing directly in their path. "?" thought Tasha. But Tippy raised his hand and shouted "Ho! Southborough!" in a loud clear voice, for he had recognised their pennons.

The guards clattered to a halt and the captain saluted. "Sir Theodore!" he called out in surprise, "We thought you were long lost, eaten by dragons!"

"Not so, as you see. What news?"

"The lady Terri is missing, believed abducted. Search parties are being sent across the land. We follow the trail of the Duke's coach, taken from the coach house last night. And of you?"

"I am bound for Southborough with these, my companions in battle." Tippy replied. Then he thought suddenly of the Eagle statuette that he carried, and the voice of Terri House-Tranger that it contained. "I may hold a clue from the lady's past - I must see the duke urgently," he continued. "Can you lend me your fastest horse?"

"Private Jones," called the captain to one of his riders, "Dismount and give Sir Theodore your horse. Make your way home on foot. We must press on if we are to catch up with the coach."

As Tippy rode hurriedly away, Tasha called out "What about us?"

"Go with Jones to Southborough Castle. I'll see you there in two days," called Tippy over his shoulder. "Use the oyster shells!"

With that, he was gone like the wind and they watched as the magical light from his cantrip faded into the distance.

"I'm Private Jones," said Private Jones. "But you can call me Jones. Everyone does. Nice halberd. Is that the Mk7 with the leather binding and the slide-out blade upgrade? My dad had one of those."

"Yes," admitted Tasha, quite impressed with Jones's geekish knowledge. "But it also summons dragons."

"Cool! What was that your boss said about oyster shells?"

Albert explained, then added "We were going to look for an inn. D'you know if there's one around here?"

"Sure. Follow me. My granny lives in the next village and her friend Molly's niece is married to the nephew of Old Gaffer Nodge whose new wife's half-brother, who is also her uncle, runs the Green Leopard. I'll take you there, it's up by the crossroads. Um, it's a bit dark ..."

"No problem," said Claw and he summoned Mike who used the Manipulate Object action to equip his tiny wand, then made a Dexterity skill check to successfully take a piece of phosphorescent moss out of his tiny pouch, a Strength check to lift it up, a Charisma check to say some words correctly and finally the Cast Spell action to cast a Light cantrip on his tiny pointed hat. He set off down the road and the others followed the tiny point of light as it bobbed around near their ankles, seven inches off the ground, as he went.

After a while, they reached the Green Leopard and found to their dismay that it was shut and boarded up. A faded note on the door said

Closed due to foreseen circumstances.
NO BEER​

"What now?" asked Tasha.

From somewhere nearby, there came the sound of an evil cackle ...