Tavern Thread: The Hanged Man

[KenHood]

"No, no, this is not the time for mating, your sister must keep looking."

"Very sad. My sister, she have wide hips. Good for to make the babies. She also know how to cook and sew and clean and smelt iron. Is very skilled."

"You fight well and you have the heart of a warrior."

"Ha-ha! I have also eat the heart of a warrior. Is not as good as you think. Not taste like chicken. Maybe eat heart of coward next time, yes? Ha-ha-ha! Because coward is also called chicken. Yes?"

"You appear to have bested me in fair combat..."

"No is bested. Is equal. Not for to figure if one more better than other, but for to make friends. Ho-ho! Is more better than barnyard dance for the meeting of people, yes?"

[sblock=renau1g]

...crazy you can do 18 damage without a weapon...

Yeah. Tonk has some crazy damage output. With an at-will attack, no special stuff applied, he can inflict a maximum 16 damage and impose a -2 penalty on his target.

With his daily attack--after you apply Furious Assault, Hunter's Quarry, and Sneak Attack--he can inflict a maximum 54 damage.

Wish I had that automatic critical hit ability that you have. Oh, boy![/sblock]

"Was your mother a songwriter by trade or was someone else responsible for that little rhyme. I have to say, it is quite catchy."

"No, no. Mama is too busy with babies to make song. I have...(hmm)...(er)..." Tonk begins counting on his fingers in Common, but gets stuck. "What is word for this?" He holds up ten fingers twice and then three fingers.

The serving wench places Tonk's mug before him. "Thank you, pretty lady. Do not go to fall in love with me. Though I make good husband, you much skinny with little hips. First baby kill you dead, then what I do? My heart, she break. I no love again, because I mourn you forever. No, no. Is much too tragic! Please bring me whole pig. Okay?"

[sblock=DMDanW and Reklaw]Glad to give you guys a laugh.[/sblock]

 

[Atanatotatos]

[sblock=ooc][size=+2]lol![/size][/sblock]

 

[Lord Sessadore]

Tristan clears his throat quietly, but doesn't share whatever thoughts he may be having. It looks as though those thoughts may be amusing to him, though, based on the smirk he's wearing.
[sblock=OOC]Haha, I'm definitely enjoying Tonk, Ken. Makes me laugh whenever I read that crazy accent [/sblock]

 

[DMDanW]

Dextyr follows Blade and Tonk back into the tavern and reclaims his seat at the bar. "I'll have a mug of your finest ale barkeeper" Dextyr states and looks around the room while he waits. Dextyr accepts the mug from the barkeeper and while sipping at the fine brew looks around the room and at the other patrons. Hmm interesting mix of souls in here... Dextyr ponders as he takes another draw of the ale.

[sblock=OOC]

Actually there seems to be a overabundace of strikers in here. By my count there's 1 Leader (Dextyr) and 5 Strikers (Blade, Tristan, Tonk, Dang't, and Vixo).

Checked out the Character Sandbox and there are only a couple of defenders and controllers possibly coming up as new characters.

[/sblock]

 

[Lord Sessadore]

[sblock=OOC]Yes, there's certainly an overabundance of strikers here. Good thing Joe's striker-centric adventure is coming Think you can keep us all alive, Dex? [/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

[sblock=OOC What does 'coming' mean with regards to Joe's adventure? Are we talking tomorrow or three months from now?[/sblock]
The serving wench--straining to hold the platter--brings a whole, roasted pig and sets it before Tonk.

"Oooooh! Is yummy! Much thanks, but I still not marry you. So sorry."

"Hello, little piggy, there is party in my mouth. You have invitation, yes?"

"Okay, now we pray..."

Hello, gods!
Is Tonk speaking!
Thank you for the piggy! Please not to let me get sick when eat it.
Bless Mama, Papa...(a long string of names, most likely his relatives)...and my new friends.
Okay! If you need something, you let me know.
Amen!​

Tonk pulls out a battered bowie knife and cuts off the tail of the pig. He gives it to Blade.

"Because you are Punch Brother, I give you tail. Is not best part of piggy, but everybody fight over it. Like wishbone from Ostrich."

"Okay! Eat! Eat!"

He chops off the snout of the pig and holds in front of his face.

"Oink! Oink! Oink! Ha-ha!"

"I have riddle for you. Why is nose of piggy like tongue of piggy? Ho-ho!"

"You give up? Okay."

He pops the snout in his mouth, gobbling down cartilage, muscle, and skin. Grease trickles down his chin. Chewed bits of pork spew from his mouth as he speaks.

"Because it TASTE good! Ha-ha! Get it? Taste? Ha-ha-ha!"

He rips off a leg of pig and chomps it on it, snapping the bone. Speaking with a full mouth, he says...

"Okay! Remind me of other joke. Here go..."

"What happen when you cure swine flu?"

"It become HAM flu!"

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-*gag*-*choke*-*ack*--"

Tonk starts punching himself in the chest.

"Blugh!"

A chunk of partially chewed meat flies across the room and lands on the bar near the electrified goblin.

 

[JoeNotCharles]

[sblock=OOC]
Pretty much as soon as Dude, Where's My Ring? and Fire! are over. Fire should be in the last round or two of combat. Except I just remembered I'm going away next week. So, around next weekend?
[/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

[sblock=OOC]Aaaaawwwww![/sblock]

 

[renau1g]

[sblock=OOc]
Just in time for my week vacation from 7/5 - 7/12
[/sblock]

 

[Kalidrev]

[sblock=KenHood]LOL Dangit Ken! You're making me make a fool of myself at work with my outbursts of laughter!![/sblock]