The Rules of Character Engagement

[Andion Isurand]

796. The rat pack.
You can count on many good ideas slipping deeper in the rat pile like dead horses, to be torn apart in thier gnashing teeth. Subsequently, the scraps left behind will often regenerate into clones.

797. Many players are so self-important that...
...any other character capable of making thier groove skip a beat, must always be another player that's just trying to harass them. It could never be that thier character, God forbid, isn't liked, loved, worshiped, feared or respected by everyone else.

 

[Tharivious_Meliamne]

As these two seem absent so far:
798. The veterans are not the enemies of the newbies.
799. The newbies are not the enemies of the veterans.
800. The worst enemy to any roleplayer is often a closed-mind.

Aaaand as for a slightly less serious one:
801. The best camouflage for a stealthy assassin includes gold chains, diamond pinky rings, huge medallions, and shiny gold-capped teeth. Must have the bling-bling. *feels dirty for even using that phrase*

 

[Dragona Nightsky]

802. Obviously our insanity knows no bounds :bored: Look at this...we're past 800...yeesh! :mymy:
803. Avoid walking bulky black coats....you probably don't -want- to know what's underneath them
804. (For Bhryn) The next time your best friend says "Let's try this, it'll be fun!" and points to a gnomish contraption...run!
805. (For Gell) Remember, on the rare occasion your spell goes wrong, the consequences of the backlash will be sudden, drastic, and embarassing...it's a cosmic rule
806. Never make bets with the yugoloth He just wants your bum anyways :nonono:

 

[Andion Isurand]

807. A summoner worth their 'ISRP' salt.
Able to summon the population of an entire plane to any other place they wish, in order to surround their enemy with a vast force of outsiders and/or elementals. Or perhaps, an audience was needed to actually cheer, or get on their hands and knees to worship, them.

 

[cbolt_toak]

808. Characters who talk in rhyme are boring cause when they don't have a rhyme immediately available, they "emote" excessively or go quiet too long to compose one.
809a. Nobody wants to hear poetry unless they ask for it.
809b. If nobody knows you and you can only talk in rhymes, you'll never get to tell poetry unless you just blurt it out.
810. Developing a character that gains experience by earning money from the patrons is a bad idea, you'll be stuck at .12 XP for a long time.
811. Deciding to reveal your character's appearance and history through what you say and do rather than by a lengthy discription is annoying and disconcerting, and providing only a link to a character sheet is insulting and confusing.

If you don't know what I am talking about, have a "How do you do" with my character, cbolt_toak, who usually goes to the CRT. You'll understand why I make such comments, because he epitomizes all of that, and few people have enjoyed his presence.

 

[Dontella]

812. You create a new character. People have never seen this character before, and assume that the player is also new. They then insult your intelligence, by assuming they need to tell you the rules of the site. This will be true, for every new character you create. This is S.O.P. (Standard Operating Procedure), not to fear.

813. Conversely... You have an old character. New characters whom you have never met before, instantly know everything about you. They even know secrets about your character, that you haven't even discovered yet. Heh, And so you wonder why you to put or play your character on the internet.. since everyone knows you, better than you do. *grin*

 

[melynxt]

gods i love doing these..if there's repeats, not my fault so neh!

814. The golem can outrun anything/anyone, if he's got an itching to skip 'rocks' in the river no matter your character's speed/evasion..it just happens...but he will never give you just ONE mug of cider!

815. The small pouch at your side can hold 10,000 platinum pieces with no trouble at all. Ya know, spending change...*eye roll*

816. If you're a drow without a house, you're inferior and ultimately the object of all others' ridicule...how dare you not conform?!

817. There is no such thing as a papercut in the ISRP. All parchment edges do 3d20 dmg with a 50% chance of disease.

818. If your character isn't a year older than dirt, well then that's just too bad for you isn't it? Really, who let the 600 year elf on? Hardly out of diapers... *nose in air, scoffs*

819. Vampires are fun to date, and why shouldn't they be? Blood stains are the new black, for sure.

820. A good female character must have more drama in one day, than an entire season of Mexican Soap Operas on caffeine tabs. If she doesn't, well you're just boring!

821. Throwing a dagger at someone's face is considered a friendly greeting.

822. Respect should be given like complimentary mints. Everyone's entitled, and it's just..ya know, expected.

823. If you're a bard that plays an instrument whilst singing lyrics to a song in the tavern...lyrics aren't actually needed...Creativity? *pshaw!*

824. If the sun crashed down into the common room of the tavern itself, there would STILL be at least 2 shrowded corners of shadow, and 4 tables/booths that are secluded so well, it's like they're...*whispers* not even there! *gasps*

825. Vampires like to get together and share same sex kisses in juxtaposition, it's their second hobby. You can't kill them, they've lip gloss +9 vs you.

826. Nobody ever picks their nose or blows their nose...but everyone has lost a limb at some point, cuz ya know, who thought that group of orcs weren't friendly? gosh..learned my lesson...good thing it grew back!

Oh i could go on...i love this thing..^.^

 

[Janusunaj]

827. If you don't play a magic user above level 4, then you haven't even scratched the surface of the car paint.

 

[Krystal]

828.

If you DO happen to have a decent leveled character (you've been playing them for years in one form or another) you're expected to strut around and make it known how great and powerful you are. 'Cause that's what great and powerful people do, right?

And it's absolutely absurd for them to have some absolutely off the wall weakness that makes it so a 5 year old could kick 'em around. Because that would mean they weren't great and powerful....

898.

Common sense? Who needs common sense?!?

899.

All female characters are beautiful. Doesn't matter how drably they're garbed, they're beautiful. (Elves get a +9 bonus to the "beautiful" factor)

900.

Thoughts are broadcast by a little pixie-type character. Each person is assigned one of these upon stepping in the tavern doors (or the juxta gates, as appropriate), and their sole purpose is to whisper the thoughts of others in your ears.

 

[Bhryn]

...How old is this thread? But still all kinds of awesome.

Read this and be amused!