The Stigma of D&D OR Help! I'm Stuck in the D&D Closet?

[Wonger]

If they don't, I don't shower them with descriptions and tales of Maldagar the 14th-level Barbarian/Wizard.

PRECISELY!

 

[Turanil]

Though I guess this is sort of a side note, I would like a more "baseline" rules book. From a setting design standpoint, it just seems like godsend. Basic classes and a ways to build new ones. Barebones skills and feats. Keep the spells simple. Get your basic weapons and armor. You can still go to your D and D Setting Book to get all the flavor you want. I guess I'm just a less-specifics, more flexibility type of guy. I'd rather have the big bucket of legos than the lego ship to piece together.

And although d20 fantasy is my thing, Dungeons and Dragons, to a certain degree, is not. I feel a more baseline rule book would encourage more creativity among devlopers, whether it's Wizards of the Coast or lil' or me at my computer. Easier to draw outside the lines when they're not there.

If so, you could get a look at Grim Tales. Maybe it would answer your concerns. You can read a review I made of it (link in my signature).

 

[Frost]

Baron, I feel your pain and can relate. I can remember working at a Borders with another gamer. You'd be amazed how we could talk about playing D&D without actually mentioning game words or "Dungeons and Dragons." Right or wrong, people place a stigma on gamers. True, not all people ... maybe not as much as I think. Still, I get a feeling that those who say "ignore what people say, and proclaim your D&D Faith!" mainly have friends that are gamers (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I guess one strategy, if you can call it that, that I have used is to allow folks (friends, potential girlfriends, etc.) to get to know me first before revealing my "dork" secret. It's amazing how people react when they learn one of their "normal" friends plays D&D. In my experience, that reaction has been pretty good... something like, "Really?" [shocked expression] "What's it like?" I guess you might say you also find out who your real friends are (i.e., if they bail because they learn that their "normal" friend plays D&D, good ridance).

Oh, and I think Dragonlancer brings up a point... I think that the D&D stigma is mainly states-side.

 

[Mr. Lobo]

You know, I'd be willing to bet that just about any kind of past-time/hobby/recreational activity can be dorkified if you really want to do that. So many things I thought were cool back in the day aren't looked at as cool anymore.

Cool is so transient I try not to worry about it so much. People who criticize or chastise someone for playing Dungeons and Dragons are just plain rude.

Mr. Lobo

 

[Neowolf]

For me, it became easier to be "out of the closet" when I came to a simple realization: I am a geek.

It's not a bad thing. Geeks run the world. Imagine if there weren't geeks at the power company to keep your electricity flowing, or at the water works to keep the water running.

Secondly, I realized that the people who would reject me out of hand over playing D&D were people who would never have been my friends anyway, nor would I want to be friends with them. You know who I'm talking about: the school's "cool kids", the football players, the cheerleaders, etc.

Give me a good old fashioned comic shop crowd anyday.

I've definitely gotta agree with some of the other posters here who have said that anyone closed-minded and ignorant enough to ostracize you for your hobbies is someone that you don't want in your life.

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

If only I was a community supporter, I could search my previous posts for my excellent previous reply on a similar topic...

This?

Dorks!!! You are all dorks!!!

And so am I...in fact, I'm the Dungeon Master. I have three campaigns that have been running for 11, 8, and 6 years - but my non-gamer friends did not know about it until 3 years ago or so, when one of my gamers who also hung with the non-gamers spilled the beans and dragged us all out of the closet with him to make his geek crime seem less heinous.

It's an odd thing. I still often wish it was in the closet, not because my non-gamer friends think any less of me (they don't at all), but because of the constant geek jokes that I must contend with. Lets face it, ladies and gentlemen: no matter how social an activity we know it to be, no matter how much fun it is, there is something very geeky about several adults going into a basement and rolling dice and playing with miniatures talking in strange voices. Do your co-workers really need to know, too? If asked, I will typically say that I am hanging out with friends down south. Some of them know about my D&D and give me crap, but I just fire back about their Magic, Warhammer, and Dragon Dice they made the mistake of admitting.

Playing D&D IS geeky. Period. Accept it, and be happy, but don't make altruistic statements about people judging you as if they have no right - going in a basement and playing with mini's and drinking a gallon of Dew while getting excited about a 20, IS a strange thing for an adult to do! Don't get mad at someone for thinking so, because they are right. What they are not right about is the satanic BS that floats around - sitting in on one session would change one of their minds almost immediately from "this is evil" to "this is reeeeeal nerdy". So, I encourage all to set those "D&D is evil" people straight.

And regarding the post about embarassing in front of women - come on people, be realistic. If you are talking to an attractive person in a bar, meeting them for the first time, that last thing you need to ruin the mood is try to explain this very odd, wonderful hobby of ours. Most non gamers, even after sitting in on a session, just don't get it - they may have no problem with you playing, but they usually won't get it, just like some people don't get the appeal of baseball or other certain activities. Why ruin a perfectly good dating oppurtunity just to evangalize D&D?!?

Balance people. Some balance in your life...I recommend it. I limit my geek activities to D&D and being a Star Wars and LotR freak. Any more than three or four, and gaming defines you rather than you enjoy gaming. If you play D&D, Magic, LARP, computer games, and wargames while watching Frodo scale Mount Doom, you will not have time for a life outside your gaming click - and aren't most of these people ranting about judgements the ones that hate cliques and falling into a cookie cutter mold?

Take your PHB and Psionics handbook to Spring Break. I did. But when you are out partying and bringing some new friends home for the night, there is nothing wrong with stuffing those books under your bag, they'll be waiting for you in the morning like the good friends they are, even if your guests are not!

Cheers!

But you are going to take some flak, deservedly so, for jumping around and being excited that your Barbarian Mage Hunter just scored a critical hit on Nethelix the undead elven necromancer!

Undead are immune to critical hits

AR

 

[Turanil]

For the sake of pure knowledge, could someone tell me, please, what a GEEK exactly is?!

I tried search the Internet, and a website indeed told me that I am a "geek". Fortunately I just a "Geek", on the following table:

* Geekish Tendencies
* Geek
* Total Geek
* Major Geek
* Super Geek
* Extreme Geek
* Geek God
* Dysfunctional Geek

I ca now fathom a little more about Geekiness, but I would be glad someone explains the term to me. And by the way, the difference wth "nerd" if there is one...

Thanks.

 

[Wonger]

Undead are immune to critical hits

AR

God you are such a geek. Correct of course, but a geek.
Now, I feel ashamed - I can't believe I let that one get through the cracks.

Thanks for digging up my old post!

 

[Dogbrain]

If they're your friends, they'll take you as you are. If they don't take you as you are, they are not your friends. They demand that you take them as they are. If they extend you any less courtesy, then they are your enemies, and deserve to be treated as such.

 

[reanjr]

REANJR, I agree with you all the way.

Really? I don't get that very often... I tend to have skewed views on everything... Neat. You're skewed too. Haha!!