What is the largest animal that you think you could beat in a fight?

[Sacrosanct]

I've subdued a homeless punk's angry barking dog once. It was on a leash inches from me. I slapped it hard on the nose with the back of my hand. It turned quiet and didn't move as I had assert dominance over it. The Punk was shocked a 'dirty bourgeois capitalist' (according to him) could do that. I walked away.

His intimidation attempt failed. Not real combat but I felt victorious.

A medium size dog, to answer the question.

Your choice of words is leading me to all kinds of assumptions; probably none that you think I'm making. Red flags everywhere.

 

[Sacrosanct]

I take back what I said about being able to take on a housecat. It all comes down to initiative I guess. Cats have sneak attack damage.

 

[Mannahnin]

Most animals that are smaller than me, though obviously not stuff that's much stronger proportionately, like a chimp. I guess alligator is the biggest single animal, as I've wrestled and I know about how their jaws work and have seen the gator wrestling trick.

This is assuming shoes and a belt don't violate the "unarmed" provision. That I'm allowed the clothes I wear on a daily basis, though no dedicated weapons. If I've got a stick that's even better, but I'm assuming not.

 

[The Soloist]

Your choice of words is leading me to all kinds of assumptions; probably none that you think I'm making. Red flags everywhere.

The guy tried to intimidate me using his dog out of nowhere as I passed by on the street. I didn't even look at him. I was scared, acted on instinct and left the scene. I'm of slim built stature, good-looking, well dressed and sometimes I get 'chosen' by random bullies (nazi punks in this case) looking to victimize gay people. It's a thing I have lived with since I was a young boy at school. I stood my ground and stand by what I did.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I wouldn’t want to fight a house pet. Psychologically, it would be like fighting a family member, and I’d be “pulling my punches”.

And even non-pets if the same species would probably be problematic, for the same reason. And that may be part of what happened a few years ago when I saw a news report about a man who was killed by a feral tabby (about 20lbs).

If I knew I was fighting for my life, I’m pretty sure I could take a sizable dog. Beyond that? Any victory I’d get would probably be as much luck as anything else.

 

[Richards]

I know lots of folks find this amusing. And Morrus started it, and he owns the place....

But you are making "comedy" out of beating up a helpless member of an endangered species.

Maybe folks should think about that a bit...

Very well. I have thought about it for a bit, as requested, and I have come to the inevitable conclusion that my comment was clearly - at least to me - a bit of simple wordplay based upon the different meanings of the word "whale" and that the whole concept of a human "fighting" a beached whale is an absurdity in the first place and thus should probably not be taken seriously.

No actual whales were harmed in the making of the above joke. Please forgive me for failing to make that disclaimer in my earlier post.

Johnathan

 

[beta-ray]

Probably a fly. A pretty big fly though.

 

[Echohawk]

We keep geese, so I know I can at least subdue one of those (to take it to the vet) without significant injury. We also live in an area with a high number of snakes, mostly spitting cobras but an occasional black mamba to keep things interesting. And once a really, really large rock python that wandered into the garage. Snakes are good at hiding in inaccessible places, so we don't manage to catch all of them, but in a typical year we relocate around two dozen snakes. We use a specialized snake stick to capture them, but that probably counts as a weapon. Still, with a decade and a half of snake-catching experience, I'm somewhat confident that I could safely grab a medium sized cobra on the neck. If I really had to without that snake stick. And if it was cold and sluggish. And if I could wear glasses to avoid being spat at. And not consistently enough to avoid getting bitten for very long if there were multiple snakes. I am much, much less confident about taking on a mamba of any size.

 

[Mannahnin]

We keep geese, so I know I can at least subdue one of those (to take it to the vet) without significant injury. We also live in an area with a high number of snakes, mostly spitting cobras but an occasional black mamba to keep things interesting. And once a really, really large rock python that wandered into the garage. Snakes are good at hiding in inaccessible places, so we don't manage to catch all of them, but in a typical year we relocate around two dozen snakes. We use a specialized snake stick to capture them, but that probably counts as a weapon. Still, with a decade and a half of snake-catching experience, I'm somewhat confident that I could safely grab a medium sized cobra on the neck. If I really had to without that snake stick. And if it was cold and sluggish. And if I could wear glasses to avoid being spat at. And not consistently enough to avoid getting bitten for very long if there were multiple snakes. I am much, much less confident about taking on a mamba of any size.

With snakes I feel like there's a question of what it means to "beat" the animal.

With constrictors, I'd need to attack the head and harm it badly enough to incapacitate or kill before the snake does the same to me. But as long as my arms aren't wrapped up I've got some time to do that. With venomous snakes, to kill is a similar task, but they're fast and I'm very likely to get bitten in the process. Does it count as a win if I kill the snake but I'm really sick afterward and/or need to get antivenom? I would think so, though it may be a rather pyrrhic victory.

 

[aco175]

Probably a fly. A pretty big fly though.

I got seven in one blow.