Hypersmurf said:
Yeah... I've been yelling at the television for the last forty-five minutes.
I'm surprised you lasted 45 minutes. After posting I returned to the television, only to find Thora Birch in a very bad costume that made her head look about ten times bigger than it probably is.
I remember a thread in here about Howard Stern giving D&D a bad rep--however, I think this movie does far more damage. I think any concerned D&D player should petition Blockbuster Video to have it removed permanently from the shelves. Just say it has devil-worshiping in it and the Bible-Belt will act immediately.
The thing is--not only did I not like what I saw--but it actually made me feel
violent. Honestly, I wanted to punch somebody for making that movie. For any young, eager directors out there wanting to make a fantasy picture, I have a few tips:
1. Fantasy illustration does not always translate well to the big screen. Blue lipstick may look cool in a graphic novel, but on a real person it's Southpark gay.
2. If you don't have the budget to make fantasy weapons, please don't attempt to make them using leftover parts from the local salvage yard.
3. Having your actors make facial expressions in every shot every two minutes is really annoying. (I think this is where I got annoyed--it was like watching kids on speed that had been up all night drinking Red Bull.)
4. Whatever you may think, any Wayans brother is not a good choice for a fantasy picture--especially when they wear pajamas. And especially pajamas with the little feet attached.
4.5 If one must use a Wayans brother in a fantasy picture, waiting more than twenty minutes to kill him off is far too much time. Dedicating a boom crane shot to his death scene could have been budgeted more wisely--like using the extra funds to hire a better writer. Or at the very least, better craft services for the crew.
5. If your characters are standing around posing a lot, you should probably produce a graphic novel, not a movie.
6. Hiring costume designers who used to be club-kids isn't a good idea. The cheese-factor is doubled and we end up with foam-inserts, sparkly things, and--blue lipstick.
/johnny
