Capellan
Explorer
8: Heigh Ho (It's Off to Work We Go)
Floyd stopped. His eyes narrowed, and he slapped his shotgun down into his palm.
"Now that's right unneighbourly." he announced. "And l'il Sadie here don't take kindly to rudeness."
All hell broke loose.
Two huge, hulking figures appeared out of thin air. They were similar in shape to the statues from the previous room, and also in their colour of their skin, which was grey and cold. They stood much taler, however, being close to eight feet in height. Each swung a mighty battleaxe, their crushing blows driving Smith to his knees. Simon tumbled away from the attackers, disappearing into the shadows on the side of the hall, while Beverly backed rapidly in the other direction, digging in her purse as she did so.
"Got it!" she yelled suddenly, and threw her make-up compact into the face of the nearest attacker. Garishly coloured creams and dusts sprayed everywhere, getting into the creature's beard, mouth and eyes. It bellowed its rage, pawing at its face with one hand as it blindly swung its axe to and fro in an attempt to fend off opponents.
Simon skulked in the darkness, moving around one of the pillars so that he could draw a bead on the nearest attacker's broad back. It was a wide and tempting target, and Simon made the most of it. The bullet caught his target near the base of the spine, drawing a howl of surprised agony as it perforated the creature's bowel.
"Ninja!" Simon exulted to himself in satisfaction. And then there was a sound behind him:
click
"Two can play at that game."
* * *
"It's just not the punk's day, is it, Johnson?" Patton didn't even bother with false sympathy. After all, the more blood, the more butts on seats.
"Evidently not, sir. Though I see he is still upright."
"Only because the crossbow bolt pinned him to the pillar." Patton chortled, rewinding to watch the scene again, in slow motion.
* * *
"Reckon that's all of 'em?" Floyd asked, some time later.
"Except the one that turned invisible and ran." Smith nodded. Floyd grimaced,
"Damn coward. Shoulda stood and fought like a man. This invisibility stuff is against the King's teachin's. A true believer should never be afraid to see seen."
"I guess hacking his boss to pieces in front of his eyes gave him second thoughts." Beverly twirled some gum around her finger. "How many did we get, anyway?"
"Three in the main hall, one in that smaller chamber, three more in here." Fabio ticked them off on his fingers.
"I thought you said there were gonna be five of them in here, homes? We're one short."
"I sensed five before we came in." Smith responded, emotionlessly, "The taint of their ungodly beliefs was quite distinct."
"Make it two cowards who went invisible and ran, then." Floyd shrugged, his interest elsewhere, "Did they have any good stuff?"
"Not really." Simon glanced up from where he was going through bloodied belongings of their deceased opponents, "Some coins, weapons and armour. The usual. Looks like they were forging more, in here." He swept his arm around to encompass the room, which was filled with giant furnaces, anvils and smithying tools of every description. "Looks like they were mining some kind of ore here, then bringing it to this room to make weapons."
Beverly frowned, her bottom lip sticking out.
"So what ... they sneaked past all those other monsters to come here and dig, dig, dig the whole day through?"
"Maybe digging's what they like to do." Fabio shrugged, while trying to see his own reflection in the blade of a half-finished sword. "Good exercise. Builds big muscles, like mine."
Beverly snorted.
"Hell on a manicure, though."
"We'll never know what they did it for." Smith's tone made it clear he didn't much care, either. "Let's get back to work. Simon, there's some kind of shaft over there. Go check it out ... and try not to fall in, this time."
"No problemo, homes." Simon shucked off his backpack and dug inside it for a rope. He knotted it deftly into a loop, then hooked it over one of the furnaces and pulled it tight. A few more knots, and he was secured to the other end. "I took a Ninja ropes course."
He edged his way out to the lip of the shaft and looked down, then turned and made his way back.
"Drop goes down out of sight." he reported. "There's a ledge about halfway around the shaft, with iron rungs in the wall going down from it."
"Did you go check it out?"
"Rope's not long enough to reach."
"Well son, 'no problemo'." Floyd chuckled and dumped open his guitar case. Old cookie wrappers, donut boxes and styrofoam hamburger containers spilled out onto the floor. Oblivious to the mess, Floyd dug within the mound of wrappers and pulled out a long stretch of green rope. "It was my daddy's. He wore it as a belt. One day I hope to be able to follow in his pants size."
"Eww."
It was a rare moment of consensus.
Floyd stopped. His eyes narrowed, and he slapped his shotgun down into his palm.
"Now that's right unneighbourly." he announced. "And l'il Sadie here don't take kindly to rudeness."
All hell broke loose.
Two huge, hulking figures appeared out of thin air. They were similar in shape to the statues from the previous room, and also in their colour of their skin, which was grey and cold. They stood much taler, however, being close to eight feet in height. Each swung a mighty battleaxe, their crushing blows driving Smith to his knees. Simon tumbled away from the attackers, disappearing into the shadows on the side of the hall, while Beverly backed rapidly in the other direction, digging in her purse as she did so.
"Got it!" she yelled suddenly, and threw her make-up compact into the face of the nearest attacker. Garishly coloured creams and dusts sprayed everywhere, getting into the creature's beard, mouth and eyes. It bellowed its rage, pawing at its face with one hand as it blindly swung its axe to and fro in an attempt to fend off opponents.
Simon skulked in the darkness, moving around one of the pillars so that he could draw a bead on the nearest attacker's broad back. It was a wide and tempting target, and Simon made the most of it. The bullet caught his target near the base of the spine, drawing a howl of surprised agony as it perforated the creature's bowel.
"Ninja!" Simon exulted to himself in satisfaction. And then there was a sound behind him:
click
"Two can play at that game."
* * *
"It's just not the punk's day, is it, Johnson?" Patton didn't even bother with false sympathy. After all, the more blood, the more butts on seats.
"Evidently not, sir. Though I see he is still upright."
"Only because the crossbow bolt pinned him to the pillar." Patton chortled, rewinding to watch the scene again, in slow motion.
* * *
"Reckon that's all of 'em?" Floyd asked, some time later.
"Except the one that turned invisible and ran." Smith nodded. Floyd grimaced,
"Damn coward. Shoulda stood and fought like a man. This invisibility stuff is against the King's teachin's. A true believer should never be afraid to see seen."
"I guess hacking his boss to pieces in front of his eyes gave him second thoughts." Beverly twirled some gum around her finger. "How many did we get, anyway?"
"Three in the main hall, one in that smaller chamber, three more in here." Fabio ticked them off on his fingers.
"I thought you said there were gonna be five of them in here, homes? We're one short."
"I sensed five before we came in." Smith responded, emotionlessly, "The taint of their ungodly beliefs was quite distinct."
"Make it two cowards who went invisible and ran, then." Floyd shrugged, his interest elsewhere, "Did they have any good stuff?"
"Not really." Simon glanced up from where he was going through bloodied belongings of their deceased opponents, "Some coins, weapons and armour. The usual. Looks like they were forging more, in here." He swept his arm around to encompass the room, which was filled with giant furnaces, anvils and smithying tools of every description. "Looks like they were mining some kind of ore here, then bringing it to this room to make weapons."
Beverly frowned, her bottom lip sticking out.
"So what ... they sneaked past all those other monsters to come here and dig, dig, dig the whole day through?"
"Maybe digging's what they like to do." Fabio shrugged, while trying to see his own reflection in the blade of a half-finished sword. "Good exercise. Builds big muscles, like mine."
Beverly snorted.
"Hell on a manicure, though."
"We'll never know what they did it for." Smith's tone made it clear he didn't much care, either. "Let's get back to work. Simon, there's some kind of shaft over there. Go check it out ... and try not to fall in, this time."
"No problemo, homes." Simon shucked off his backpack and dug inside it for a rope. He knotted it deftly into a loop, then hooked it over one of the furnaces and pulled it tight. A few more knots, and he was secured to the other end. "I took a Ninja ropes course."
He edged his way out to the lip of the shaft and looked down, then turned and made his way back.
"Drop goes down out of sight." he reported. "There's a ledge about halfway around the shaft, with iron rungs in the wall going down from it."
"Did you go check it out?"
"Rope's not long enough to reach."
"Well son, 'no problemo'." Floyd chuckled and dumped open his guitar case. Old cookie wrappers, donut boxes and styrofoam hamburger containers spilled out onto the floor. Oblivious to the mess, Floyd dug within the mound of wrappers and pulled out a long stretch of green rope. "It was my daddy's. He wore it as a belt. One day I hope to be able to follow in his pants size."
"Eww."
It was a rare moment of consensus.
