I am not so much trying to change your opinion as I am trying to figure out where the change is, where the difference has occurred that what you did in 3.5 is no longer doable for you in 4e?
Like, where is that point in 4e, where it feels you can't say, "I charge him", like you did in 3.5?
Since besides for a couple word changes, if we look past the Power-system which is not really what is being discussed here. There is very little difference in the actual method of discussing/doing combat.
As I said - there are the little things that add up. Drop by drop, they weigh down on the "not for me" scale.
No perform skill.
No crafting skills.
No profession skills.
Fireball now a daily instead of a staple.
Martial powers do not recharge as well as they do in Bot9S, causing a card game feeling.
Martial powers require too much mental gymnastics to make sense, or drop to "do not think about it"
Game terms and grid instead of real measurements for movement.
Too much "shift".
System is set for far more combats per day than I want.
Skill Challenge system was not playtested, and came out bugged.
Not enough classes.
Lizardfolk as core race.
Too much limiting fluff (tieflings restricted to one appearance, and one origin).
Game terms that remind me of MMOgs (Striker, defender etc.).
Powers not having enough power. I want crits that can one shot enemies, sword attacks that take down half the enemies' hit points. I want a barbarian that can kill an equal-levelled pit fiend in two rounds (Pouncing charge, finishing blow), not a game where we need to grind down enemies MMO-style.
And I guess more I don't recall right now.
All those points, for themselves, are solvable. But together they amount to far too much work for far too little gain for me, and make me consider 4E as clearly "not for me".