Summoning and Name-suckage

[Lanefan]

It's pretty easy, really. All you need to be able to do is interpret WotCSpeak so it reflects what you want it to. For example, I'd use:

"Hammerfist Crusher" = elephant, rhinoceros, or similar big stomper
"Arrowhawk" = fast flying thing that could hurt if it attacks someone
"Iron Cohort" = a construct or robot that does what you tell it
"Fire Warrior" = a fire elemental in a bad mood (aren't they always?)

Probably easiest in the long run (though more work right now) would be to make up your own list of what can be summoned. That way, you'll have all the stats to hand as well. And no matter *how* the class was presented, you'd probably have had to do this work anyway to make it fit your own game; so there's no net change there.

Lanefan

 

[Herremann the Wise]

Dear Simplicity,

How about you think some better names up and submit them to Wizards, or a Fan Creations forum instead of writing a snarky post in General that achieves nothing?

That'd be awesome.

Sincerely,

The Internet

Actually the OP makes an interesting point in that the names are bland and nonsensically flavoured at the same time - or at the very least I agree with Simplicity's opinion.

As for achieving nothing, at the very least one other person - that is me - thought it was a useful pondering. Your mileage obviously varies. Maybe WotC does need the occasional reminder when their names creep below the suckage line? Names at least for me are an important part of both the game and fantasy in general.

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise

 

[The Ghost]

Dear Wizards,

I hope those names are placeholders. Stop sucking.

Sincerely,
Concerned Golden Dragon Azure Power Super Puma Reader

While I agree that the names Wizards gives out are pretty bland and boring, I also understand that they are part of a multinational-publicly-traded company. And, as such, they understand that their products will end up in the hands of people who are not native English speakers. They need to be able to translate their product into other languages without offending foreign speakers. Made-up words make this job much more difficult.

 

[I'm A Banana]

Ya can't copyright "golem."

 

[RefinedBean]

Actually the OP makes an interesting point in that the names are bland and nonsensically flavoured at the same time - or at the very least I agree with Simplicity's opinion.

That's fair enough. It just seemed like Simplicity's point/opinion could have been better made by taking out the sarcasm.

Kamikaze Midget dealt with one reason they don't use names like "Panther" or "Golem," and I agree with The Ghost's point on the ability of non-native English speakers to understand things from the get-go.

Names are kept simple and stupid for a reason: so people can easily change them. The Fire Warrior or what-not doesn't have to be a Fire Warrior at all, so long as the mechanics stay the same. Complaining about the names...well, it just doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyway, didn't mean to come off as an ass. Discuss away!

 

[Aus_Snow]

Hehe. Well, it made me chuckle. Or snicker perhaps. Have an XP!

 

[Simplicity]

That's fair enough. It just seemed like Simplicity's point/opinion could have been better made by taking out the sarcasm.

Kamikaze Midget dealt with one reason they don't use names like "Panther" or "Golem," and I agree with The Ghost's point on the ability of non-native English speakers to understand things from the get-go.

Names are kept simple and stupid for a reason: so people can easily change them. The Fire Warrior or what-not doesn't have to be a Fire Warrior at all, so long as the mechanics stay the same. Complaining about the names...well, it just doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyway, didn't mean to come off as an ass. Discuss away!

Actually, the real reason they use names like these is that you can only create a statblock for a Panther once. But you can create three different statblocks for Padfoot Clawpaws, Padfoot Manglepaws, and Padfoot Shredderpaws. But then somone comes up with the idea of Iron Padfoot Clawpaws, and suddenly the names go beyond ridiculous.

They're not going to copyright Arrowhawks.

 

[Keefe the Thief]

If i were a person capable of summoning magic, i sure as hell wouldn´t call my creatures "golem" or "magical construct." I would call them "Spawnblade Perilous", "The Stranger that bleeds" and, possibly, "Kill Souls ter." YMMV

 

[Korgoth]

Dear Wizards,

I hope those names are placeholders. Stop sucking.

Sincerely,
Concerned Golden Dragon Azure Power Super Puma Reader

Har! Check this out:

malevolent and benign

I love it. Let's give 'er a few rolls:

Flameclaw Howler

Yeah. I can see that. And:

Icewarped Hordeling

Alright, and we'll finish off with this pair:

Deathbond Hulk

and

Thunderblood Ripper

Oh yeah. That's the stuff.

The great thing is that a given WOTC monster name could be for an Ogre, a Mastodon, a Metallic Bird or a Vat-Grown Monstrosity. There's just no telling!

They should probably do away with all "mundane" animal names in the D&D world. A bunny rabbit could be a Thumperfoot Hopper, a riding horse could be a Lightninghoof Runner, a warhorse could be a Thunderhoof Crasher and cat could be a Razorclaw Pouncer.

Heck, they could even do away with the regular race names. An elf is now a Fancypants Archer. A dwarf (they were always named after their own racial stereotypes anyway) could be a Granitebeard Hammerer. A dragonborn could be a Lizardboob Flaunter. A human could be a Genericsomething Someotherthing.

I think those boys in Renton are really onto something.

 

[Soel]

I actually like the name "Fire Warrior." Seems like it'd be a 1e creature.