Jasperak
Adventurer
Here's the thing. You might have encountered DMs who obviously love their little world. And let's face it, many people play D&D to get through their issues (or exercise them). I'm sure you have met a DM or two who has serious control issues, who wants you to march to their tune OR ELSE.
Meanwhile, this style of play also is for Players who want to explore how their character feels. And want to have some drama where the characters' morals conflict. To them, the GAME isn't "What level my character is and what I've killed" but "Who my character is and what he does". It's a game of pretending to be another different complex person.
D&D is played by many different types of people. I've met players who have wanted to play pacifist characters; when combat happens, the character hides. When combat is over, they come out and play their character. And they have fun doing it.
Some like to play Nation-Building games. An example of that is my campaign; the PCs are running a colony on a jungle continent, and so wiping out all the natives isn't useful to them. Those natives are resources to be used, allies for other battles, sources of information, etc. And if a group of natives are "Evil", it doesn't matter to the PCs as long as the Evil Natives aren't being a problem. Some of the game is simply politics of trading favors and deals, to build up the colony. And the players love being able to draw up their own maps of the colony and make its laws, and I love the supernatural politics. And the PCs don't want to shoot from the hip, because it might destabelize their relationship with their other allies.
I agree with everything you said. I would probably enjoy your nation-building campaign.
This question about moral relativism though is a matter of degrees. Characters not being sure of who is good and evil is fine and healthy for role-playing, but there are certain sacred cows that in my opinion must be maintained. Orcs are evil. Changing default assumptions about evil in the game in the manner Scott questions would only add complexity where IMHO it doesn't really belong.
Moral ambiguity can work in D&D, I've seen it though it works for some games more than others. Paranoia comes to mind. I have always had the most fun with D&D when it was a simple diversion from life. Moral questions were black and white when I started playing in the mid 80's, though the way we played shifted slowly towards dealing with more difficult questions. I stopped having fun when I realized some of the people I played with were clueless and couldn't put 2+2 together about the meaning of life. D&D became fun again when we started playing it as a GAME instead of as a proxy for the real world.
I understand what you are saying about character feelings though. There was a time that I did enjoy play like that, but eventually i found that the majority of the character remained inside my head. It was around then that I realized I would be better off writing those stories instead of trying to act in character. I don't know if I am a better writer than roleplayer, but I do get more enjoyment from expressing and developing a character through writing than acting.
I have seen enough people try to work through their issues playing D&D that I don't think it needs to be actively encouraged by Scott and the design team, and that's what I think would be more likely to happen if his vision of evil was the default assumption.