Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[Jeff Wilder]

Just out of curiosity for the gaming-and-booze-don't-mix folks ...

Let's say you're invited to the game. Gm you like, game system you like, everything sounds swell.

Do you ask, "Is anybody going to have a drink during the game?"

Do you ask, "Is anybody going to get drunk during the game?"

Now let's say you attend the game, and it's a lot of fun. Midway through the first session, a guy cracks open a beer.

Do you leave right then and there?

Do you ask him to stop drinking?

What if he goes on to drink, say, a beer an hour?

At what point do you leave?

If you don't leave, have you decided not to return?

Sorry for all the questions, but I just find this really interesting. (FWIW, if someone lit a cigarette at the table, I'd politely explain that I can't be (and don't want to be) around it, and immediately gather my things and leave.)

 

[Dedekind]

We actually enjoy beer enough at our games that we started a beer club. Every game two people are responsible for bringing a beer they haven't tried. Then we judge them after the game is over. Most of them aren't very good (no one has tried them for a reason!) but we have found some gems.

Of course, I don't require it and would respect a group's request not to have any alcohol.

 

[JRRNeiklot]

The beer is not the problem. If a person is disruptive to the game HE is the problem. If he's only disruptive when he drinks, HE is still the problem. He shouldn't drink if he knows he's gonna be an ass.

 

[Michael Silverbane]

I'm a teetotaler and I don't want to be around anyone that's drinking.

I think that a lot of the 'beer hate' is some version of this. Some folks don't engage in [X Activity], nor do they associate with people who do. I don't really see anything wrong with that, though I do engage in [X Activity]...

 

[Chainsaw]

The guys (and gals) in my old 4E LFR group often have beer, wine or some festive drink (margaritas on May 5, etc). Not everyone drinks, but no one's ever had a problem with it - maybe we just have a good group (no mean, loud, irritating drinkers).

I think once or twice someone drank too much and couldn't add up the dice, but it was more humorous than anything.

If you're hosting strangers, I could definitely see drinking rules getting tricky... Sure, I might know my friends are fine, but what about the new guy? Is he going to go ballistic in my living room after two glasses of wine? Touchy situation I guess. No hard and fast rule there. Just have to go case by case, I think.

 

[Bumbles]

Do you ask, "Is anybody going to have a drink during the game?"

Do you ask, "Is anybody going to get drunk during the game?"

When there's someone who doesn't know them already, I make my conditions known in advance, and ask them if they have any. I even ask if all the other players are aware. I even prefer to have it in writing along with the precis of the game itself(setting, allowed rule books, character generation methods) so there's less argument about it.

And there's other important questions like "Does anybody have any allergies?" or "Is anybody expecting to have to change the times they will be available?" which it really helps to answer first. Nothing that derails a game more than bickering before it truly begins.

Now let's say you attend the game, and it's a lot of fun. Midway through the first session, a guy cracks open a beer.

Do you leave right then and there?

Do you ask him to stop drinking?

If the person is unfamiliar, then I say "Excuse me, but I thought we'd agreed to not drink at these games" and if they say "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot" and put up their drink, well, then it's cool. If there's an argument, well, I pass on that and I leave rather than prolong it. Will I never return? Not if the conditions I agreed to play under remain unmet.

And if I'm hosting, it won't even get that far, because somebody won't normally get in the door with alcohol or cigarettes. I ask before they come in.
And there's a sign.

Liars are just not acceptable. I would much rather have somebody say "Oh, I forgot we weren't supposed to drink or smoke" or even "Y'know, I had a bad day, I really need a drink" as the first can be forgiven, the latter, well, I don't mind somebody skipping out if they tell me. We can run a one-shot or something.

 

[malraux]

I appreciate the honesty of making clear that alcohol is unwelcome, I just don't get it. I mean, I dislike soda. Not just drinking it, but its larger societal effects (related in with our agriculture policy). But that doesn't mean I have to dislike someone because they have a soda. I don't see how someone having alcohol (in reasonable amounts) affects you anymore than someone having soda affects me.

 

[Bumbles]

The beer is not the problem. If a person is disruptive to the game HE is the problem. If he's only disruptive when he drinks, HE is still the problem. He shouldn't drink if he knows he's gonna be an ass.

Absolutely, but what can I do? I've found people to be less than responsive to the suggestion of "Hey, you have a drinking problem" so I go with what I can control, which is the slightly less offensive "Nobody gets to drink" which at least doesn't single anyone out.

That way I don't feel like I'm judging anyone.

I'm a teetotaler and I don't want to be around anyone that's drinking.
I think that a lot of the 'beer hate' is some version of this. Some folks don't engage in [X Activity], nor do they associate with people who do. I don't really see anything wrong with that, though I do engage in [X Activity]...

This sort of thinking can be applied to both sides.

 

[RefinedBean]

Just a public service reminder:

There is no such thing as badwrongfun.

There IS such a thing as badwrongbeer.

I like to have a few beers sometimes, but mainly I don't drink during gaming. These days I can really only drink microbrews unless I'm being held upside down over a keg, so it helps save money, and many DMs and players I game with aren't comfortable with drinking at the table.

 

[Lord Mhoram]

In our groups case (7 people)

4 of us are teetotalers for faith based reasons (our church requires us to be such*)
2 do it for health reasons.
1 drinks twice a year.

As I host, and I will not let any kind of alcohol into my home (nor anyone under the influence the same) it's sort of moot point, but the group is okay with that.


* Even before I joined that particular faith, I was a teetotaler. My father was an alcoholic, and it destroyed our family. So my views on alcohol are shaped by that.