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Players Who Are Just Goofs
- Thread starter kitsune9
- Start date
kitsune9
Adventurer
Ban it?!?! We should give it a medal.
I think you're onto something there. How about Darwin Awards for these characters?
That'd only apply if they remove themselves from the Gene Pool. If they can still reproduce, the best they can get is a notable mention.
Pretty sure, anyway. I could consult my copy of the book though, if there's question...
There is a tale of such stupidity it has passed into legend in our group, I can guarantee this guy will never live it down.
Many years ago, in a 3E campaign, our party had entered a cave only to be confronted by several ogres, (I can't remember the exact details) but these were not ordinary ogres, they couldn't be damaged by standard weaponry.
They also hit like trucks filled with alligators, and our escape route had been cut off (some kind of bridge IIRC).
The party starts picking up sizeable and pointed rocks to attack the ogres before it's all too late, myself and the fighter get bashing with our boulders, but things are still looking grim.
Up steps our rogue (guy of legend) who is at the back of the cave 10 feet or so watching me and the fighter duke it out, on our last legs, fighting for our lives.
He bends down, selects a particularly mean-looking, large rock, picks it up, and promptly replaces it on the ground. 'I just don't feel it's a weapon my character would use'
Cue looks of horror from the rest of the PCs, DM moves on to next persons turn. We somehow survived. His reputation did not.
Many years ago, in a 3E campaign, our party had entered a cave only to be confronted by several ogres, (I can't remember the exact details) but these were not ordinary ogres, they couldn't be damaged by standard weaponry.
They also hit like trucks filled with alligators, and our escape route had been cut off (some kind of bridge IIRC).
The party starts picking up sizeable and pointed rocks to attack the ogres before it's all too late, myself and the fighter get bashing with our boulders, but things are still looking grim.
Up steps our rogue (guy of legend) who is at the back of the cave 10 feet or so watching me and the fighter duke it out, on our last legs, fighting for our lives.
He bends down, selects a particularly mean-looking, large rock, picks it up, and promptly replaces it on the ground. 'I just don't feel it's a weapon my character would use'
Cue looks of horror from the rest of the PCs, DM moves on to next persons turn. We somehow survived. His reputation did not.
MarkB
Legend
At our gaming convention (Conception), we run the Golden Badger Awards, for the most embarrassing PC death during the con, named after an incident in which a PC was gnawed to death by a badger after he crawled into its den and got wedged too tightly to crawl out again.
As for 'goof' incidents, there are a couple that come to mind...
In an old 3.0 game, we're travelling between two planar gates in separate wooded areas with savannah-like grasslands between them. It's night time, and we're already pretty beaten up by the time we get out of the first woods - all low on HPs, most of the wizard's attack spells and the cleric's healing expended, and my rogue PC is limping as a result of having fallen into a ravine.
As we make our way through the head-height grassland, we realise that we're being stalked - there are howls on the breeze, and we catch occasional glimpses of canine forms through the grasses. Spooked by this, we decide to double-time it to the next woods, my rogue being carried for the duration, and to our surprise we manage to make it, and promptly start climbing the trees, intending to wait out until morning, the Cleric (with Travel domain) casting Fly to assist my limping rogue.
At that point, I have an idea. "Hey, you've still got a few minutes of Fly left - go see what those things were. You should be safe in the air." So, with the wizard providing comms via Message, the cleric flies off back up our trail, until he can just glimpse some canine forms slinking through the grass.
"Get down lower so you can identify them!" we encourage him. "It's not like they can fly up after you."
He does so, and manages to get a clear enough look to identify the creatures as... Yeth Hounds. Which promptly take to the air to attack him.
So now, our tactics are all backwards. Instead of putting ourselves out of reach of our pursuers, we've made ourselves sitting ducks - and we're at penalties to make attacks due to balancing and clinging to tree limbs. Our poor heavy-armoured cleric is being pursued by a pack of hounds who can fly faster than him. And all hope of avoiding another combat that day is lost.
On the bright side, I did get to say to the cleric, "Quick, fly back to the trees - you don't want to get into a dogfight."
The second incident was more recent, but still a few years ago. We're exploring a set of caves inhabited by an Orc raiding party, and we've encountered a group including some warriors, a worg, and a shaman who's already hit one of us with mind-affecting magic. The barbarian has just enough movement to get into the chamber this turn, and mentions that he's also going to Rage.
"You shouldn't Rage yet," I advise him. "It'll drop your Will saves against that shaman. Do it at the start of your next turn." He takes my advice.
Next turn is the worg, which charges forwards, bites the barbarian, and attempts to trip him. He rolls his Strength check to oppose, and fails by 1. If he'd had even a slight extra bonus to his strength at that moment, he'd have stayed on his feet, but instead he crashes to the floor.
The barbarian's player looks at me, and in the most innocent tone, I say "You know, you really should've Raged."
Ever since then, "you should've Raged" has become our standard catch-phrase whenever a player finds his character in trouble as a result of following another player's advice.
coyote6
Adventurer
CorditeJimmy
First Post
We were playing a 1st ed WFRP campaign, and one of the party was a petty crook who had recently started trainig as an assassin. At this point he'd technically gained the class title of Assassin, but hadn't developed ay of the combat skills to go with it.
We're investigating a chaos magician who lived in a mansion outside of town, next to a coal mine. We've just killed some goblins in the magician's house when we hear the thunder of paws and a phalanx of gobli wolf-riders comes charging out of the mines. What does our would be assassin do? He counter charges them head on.
The GM explains why a lone individual on foot running at a cavalry charge head on is a bad idea but he insists on doing it anyway. By the time our two templars of Ulric deal with the cavalry and my surgeon can get to him, the best I can do is to keep him alive at the cost of both his legs. An assassin with no legs. Yeah. And that's why you don't charge cavalry on foot.
We're investigating a chaos magician who lived in a mansion outside of town, next to a coal mine. We've just killed some goblins in the magician's house when we hear the thunder of paws and a phalanx of gobli wolf-riders comes charging out of the mines. What does our would be assassin do? He counter charges them head on.
The GM explains why a lone individual on foot running at a cavalry charge head on is a bad idea but he insists on doing it anyway. By the time our two templars of Ulric deal with the cavalry and my surgeon can get to him, the best I can do is to keep him alive at the cost of both his legs. An assassin with no legs. Yeah. And that's why you don't charge cavalry on foot.
InVinoVeritas
Adventurer
The PCs, while traveling cross-country across a military dictatorship, come across a small shack of a house. They hide and watch as a young teenage boy, with a small satchel and wearing the insignia of the dictatorship, goes up to the house. The door opens, and an elderly woman welcomes him with the warm smile of familiarity. He enters, and the door closes.
The party discusses what to do. The cleric worries that this may be an elaborate ruse, clearly some part of a larger evil operation. The fighter vehemently disagrees, quite sure it's just some old woman, probably baking muffins, whose grandson stopped by to visit. The rest of the party decides they can't let this rest, and decide to attack, out of safety. The fighter swears off the operation, and hangs back in the bushes, refusing to participate.
The rest of the party case the place, look for secret entrances, sneak up on the cottage, and burst inside! The occupants scream, and the teenager grabs a large knife, shouting "Stay away from Grandma! I'm a soldier, I'll have you arrested!" The party slays the boy, ransacks the cottage, and regroups outside, leaving the poor woman to grieve.
The fighter, furious, looks back at his mates. "There, satisfied? Did you find the evil darkness? Do you have your treasure now??!!!"
The cleric offers an apology gift, sheepishly replying, "We have muffins..."
"I DON'T WANT YOUR BLOOD MUFFINS!!!"
The party discusses what to do. The cleric worries that this may be an elaborate ruse, clearly some part of a larger evil operation. The fighter vehemently disagrees, quite sure it's just some old woman, probably baking muffins, whose grandson stopped by to visit. The rest of the party decides they can't let this rest, and decide to attack, out of safety. The fighter swears off the operation, and hangs back in the bushes, refusing to participate.
The rest of the party case the place, look for secret entrances, sneak up on the cottage, and burst inside! The occupants scream, and the teenager grabs a large knife, shouting "Stay away from Grandma! I'm a soldier, I'll have you arrested!" The party slays the boy, ransacks the cottage, and regroups outside, leaving the poor woman to grieve.
The fighter, furious, looks back at his mates. "There, satisfied? Did you find the evil darkness? Do you have your treasure now??!!!"
The cleric offers an apology gift, sheepishly replying, "We have muffins..."
"I DON'T WANT YOUR BLOOD MUFFINS!!!"
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