First off, let's not get sucked into the semantics game. "Pulling back" is okay but "letting him win" is not?
No semantics game here.
Bobby wants to learn how to hit a ball, you teach him using soft lobs or T-ball.
What you do not do is throw him into a major league game and tell everyone else to play down to Bobby.
It is hoped that what Bobby learns in T-ball and soft lob is applicable later, with more competitive types of ball.
Susy wants to learn how to play D&D, you teach her using a kinder, gentler location with real decisions and real consequences for those decisions. Dying is harder to accomplish, but certainly possible.
What you do not do is throw Susy into an ongoing game with experienced gamers and then fudge results so that she does well.
It is hoped that what Susy learns in the "newbie" dungeon is applicable later, with more complex decisions that have larger consequences.
Then a few of you guys chime in with words to the effect of "A better way to handle it would have been to run some entirely other and different encounter and learning game"
Sure. No argument. I agree. But that ISN'T WHAT HAPPENED.
No, it isn't what happened.
It is what should have happened.
Throwing Susy into an ongoing game with experienced gamers is a screw up of the kind that throwing Bobby into a major league game is. But in neither case is the "solution" actually solving anything.
The DM could have said, once he saw how things were going, "Susy, that was my fault for throwing you into deep water. I should know better. Let me set up a game just for you, where you can get your feet wet before swimming with the sharks. How does that sound?"
That would have been acceptable, and far, far better than fudging the dice.
The difference is that Susy gets the results she earns; her decisions matter. She actually learns what decisions will be rewarded, and which will not. She doesn't learn to rely on the DM changing things to accomodate poor decisions. She learns that she, and she alone, has to deal with the outcome of her choices....and that she, and she alone, gets to bask in the glory of success.
Because if the DM solves your problems for you, the DM is also the only one who actually "succeeded" when all is said and done. You have nothing to feel good about. You have nothing to be proud of. You have won nothing.
RC