Worst fantasy names in our Real World

[Evilhalfling]

Today, I drove through Gort, Ireland on my way to Cork. May go to Dingle tomorrow.

Dingle, Ireland is great! I stole the whole town and ran a great adventure based on it. PCs visited 13 of 52 bars looking for a famous drunkard.
Had to change the name of the town though....

 

[Wabbit Season]

Note that next to Intercourse, PA are the towns Bird-In-Hand and Paradise.

Then there's Blue Balls, which is closer to Intercourse than you'd think but never as close as you'd like.

 

[billd91]

On the motorway between Cork and Dublin, drove past Horse and Jockey, Ireland. Wonder where they got the name of that town from...

 

[Thunderfoot]

There is a town called Mystic in Connecticut that one would think they could find a magic user. There is a town in Massachusetts named Ware. That could lead to a long and tiring exchange between the players and GM.

Player 1: "Where are we going next?"

GM: You are going to Ware

Player 1: "That's what I asked you. Where are we going?"

GM: Ware.

Player 1: "Just answer the question!"

There is a Ware, Illinois not 10 minutes from my front door. I live in Anna, I went to school in Cobden (there are 6 of those all named for the same English explorer Sir Richard Cobden - ego maniac much?) So, the area I live in, pretty lousy on the fantasy name scale.

On a higher note (pun intended) I grew up in Alto Pass (High Pass) which all in all isn't all that bad of a fantasy town name, unless you are from there, and then it's just silly.

All of these towns are within about 10 minutes of each other.

Other "great" names in this area:
Wolf Lake
Campground
Woodshed
Mount Pleasant
Marion
Glen Ridge
Pomona - no, that isn't a Native American word, it's just dumb
Vienna (pronounced VIE - anna not like the Austrian town it shares a spelling with)
Cairo (pronounced KAY-roh (like the syrup) not like the Egyptian town of the same name)
Karnack - Like the Great of Johnny Carson fame
Johnson City
Ziegler-Royalton (Where John Malcovich is from)
Jonesboro
Murphysboro
Harrisburg
Elizabethtown
Mulkeytown
Howardton
Eddysville
Golconda
Simpson
New Grand Chain (there is no Grand Chain)
Goreville (maybe that's where the monsters live) *rolleyes*
Christopher
Buckner
Tyrone
Chester

As you can see, a whole lot of thought and intelligence went into the naming of these locations. Makes me proud to be a Southern Illinoisan.

 

[Klaus]

Oh, Rio de Janeiro (January's River) is famous for the Sugar Loaf mountain and Hunchback Hill. Natives are called "white man's houses", Frank Sinatra once recorded the song about the Girl From Non-Drinking Water and I live in the neighboorhood of Flooded Alligator Lake.

 

[tuxgeo]

To say nothing of Sequim, Puyallup, and Snoqualmie, Washington; the Skookumchuck and Stillaguamish rivers, or a dozen other cities and terrains given NW Indian names.

Note in particular that those first two are correctly pronounced:
skwim, and
pyoo AL up. < snip >

Continuing with the Washington theme:
Cape Disappointment, Point No Point, and Whidbey Island's "Useless Bay" (the explorers didn't like those places very well?)

Highway 36 in Oregon goes through the towns of Low Pass and Triangle Lake. (Gee, the one is named because you can cross the Coast Range west of there without getting snowed on in the winter; and the other because the lake there has three corners? Way to be really obvious, I guess. And the "Coast Range" is fairly unimaginatively named, as well.)

 

[Infernal Teddy]

I used to live in Baalborn.

My Dentist is Herr Doktor Schmerz

My Physiotherapist is called Gravemaker...

 

[GlassEye]

New Grand Chain (there is no Grand Chain)

But the locals (like my grandparents) only ever call it Grand Chain.

And don't forget:
Mound City
America
Metropolis (which is anything but)

 

[Pseudonym]

Pretty much all of Australia sounds stupid but I think that was deliberate.

How can one forget Coober Pedy?

Locally in Massachusetts we have Marblehead, which I think players would roll their eyes at, as well as Gay Head, Cummington and Athol for the amusingly juvenile.

In a fantasy vein, we have Blackstone and Zoar.

 

[Scotley]

The early settlers in Arkansas were not known for their creativity. Any DM would be laughed at for:

Lake City, Lake View, Portland, Harbour, Lake Shore and Bay none of which is anywhere near a body of water. Lake Village is actually on a lake, but the lake in question was once a river. Or Lake Georgia (three states away) Pacific (half a dozen states away)

How about these original names: Black Rock on the banks of the Black River not far from the confluence with the Spring River, which eventually runs into the White river. Or Springfield, Oak Dale, Black Oak (there are three black oaks in Arkansas not counting the band of the same name), Fairview, Hot Springs, Mammoth Spring, Mineral Springs, Pump Springs, Sulfur Springs, Pine Bluff, Greenville, Daisy, Star City, Gravel Junction, Bald Knob, Riceville, Cotton Plant, Forrest City, Bare Stone, Strong (reached by the strong hwy), Rose Hill, South Bend, West Point, Newport, Red Hill, Midway, Mountain Home (no doubt settled by dwarves), the Elves are over in Mississippi at Greenwood, the halflings can be found along the banks of the Little Red River, and Four Groves where the Druids get together, or Crater of Diamonds (no doubt a dragons lair), Kilgore, Bleaker and Croak (Orc and goblin country), Lost Valley (certainly adventure to be found there) and who could forget the Capital Little Rock or as someone else mentioned the border town with Texas Texarkana and there is an Arkansas City though I don't think it is big enough to qualify as a town much less a city under the current rules.

There is abundant Plant and animal life in the region too: Buck Snort, Elk, Pike City, Bear Grease, Possum Grape, Fish Dock, Grapevine, Willow, Otter, Reedville, The Buffalo River, Swan Lake, Bull Shoals, Lake Beaver Lake and Toad Suck.

Given what most people think of Arkansans we have the aptly named Cornie and Hicksville. Its not all bad with Hope, Hopewell, New Hope, Delight, Joy, Bragg, Ball and Peace.