Neat GM advice on Female Gamers:

[Cor_Malek]

Re: "targeting" women

Honestly, it's more a matter of not repulsing us by constantly mansplaining (instead of just listening) and doing things like this (instead of, y'know, acting like women have better things to do than please a man).

I think I might be a mansplainer, because I sure as hell can't spot the difference between explaining and mansplaining. The article you link to confuses me, and the link's it provides - even more so.
The Michael H. states his opinion to which he gets a response that I'd label as d-word-ish . AFAIK it's just a gender-loaded equivalent of "armchair-X", term that really repulses me (every time I hear it, I have a flash of Homer Simpson doing one of "ooh! Look at me, I [description of reasonable activity to underscore one of Homer's flaws]" lampoons). First time I've seen this term I kind of thought it was the very opposite of what is showed in this article/blog - the way of very brief, and undetailed explanation in spirit of "blah, blah, it's not like you're getting anything of it, as it's too [sphere often attributed mostly to men]-al".

One thing this thread shows is that apparently people here have been suppressing the urge to rant on this subject for quite a bit OP was about "why the hell does this subject still come up, it's not like it's some kind of recent social change", and yet within first page it gravitated to "get it out of your system here, instead of in the threads where people ask this kind of question".

 

[Leatherhead]

Perhaps the stereotype of socially awkward men that sit and stare in awe at them while playing isn't a very welcoming sign?

You know, it's statements like this that make me wonder if the "how to treat girl gamers" thing isn't more about advertising to women "look, geeks can be civilized too!" Than it is about actually trying to tell men how to act around women.

I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

 

[pawsplay]

Sexist isn't an epithet, but it instantly stigmatizes you to be called one. So you're right in that the two are not on the same level, but I wouldn't want to be called either.

I don't really think this is the right thread for such an argument, do you?

I'm not sure what they "right thread" is. I pointed out that I was offended by something someone said.

No group of people anywhere are going to agree on what's objectionable and what isn't. This is not intended as a repudiation of the history of women in the world as you have stated it.

We don't have to agree on the entirety of what's objectionable and what isn't. However, if someone continues to act objectionably in my presence, I tend to object. I am not implying any malign intent. On the contrary, I wish to raise awareness.

I could just as easily point out, that there ARE quite a few accusations that can be made by women against men that are instantly believed by the audience hearing the accusation -- and being called a sexist is one of them. There are others.

A better analogy is women having their moral character called into question based upon what they choose to wear or the fact that they have more than 1 sexual partner at a time. That tends to be (off the top of my head) the accusation that a man (or a woman) can make against a woman that is regularly accepted.

I'm not sure where you're going with this. Are you saying that being called sexist is equivalent to being oppressed?

I don't think Oryan_77 has been making his points well at all in this thread, but I can understand what he's talking about on that particular point.

Oh, I understand all right. I wonder if you understand what I am talking about.

Clearly, you don't, but I would suggest that is due to a lack of awareness on your part about some male experiences.

Not only likely, but certain. There are male experiences of which I am entirely unaware.

 

[Dausuul]

I don't think Oryan_77 has been making his points well at all in this thread, but I can understand what he's talking about on that particular point. Clearly, you don't, but I would suggest that is due to a lack of awareness on your part about some male experiences.

I have 34 years of male experiences, but that doesn't change the fact that what Oryan77 said was a) wrong and b) objectionable. Yes, the accusation of sexism can be used as a weapon against men who don't deserve it, and sometimes it is. And I'm sure there are a few women out there who make a habit of it. But there are also times when it is accurate and appropriate to say that someone is sexist, or at least that that person is behaving in a sexist way.

There's not a time when it's accurate and appropriate to call someone "b____," no matter how badly that person is behaving. We can discuss why if you like. There is no equivalence here. Returning to the sentence that started this discussion:

But I've learned women tend to use that word in the same way a man uses the B word to a woman.

That's a gross generalization which pretty much dismisses all possibility that a woman might, y'know, have a point when she complains of sexism. It's turning a few bad experiences with individuals into a sweeping and insulting claim about all women.

 

[DumbPaladin]

I'm not sure where you're going with this. Are you saying that being called sexist is equivalent to being oppressed?

Oh, I understand all right. I wonder if you understand what I am talking about.

No, I'm actually saying that I refuse to play the "my woes are worse than your woes" game. It's ridiculous. For someone who is so concerned with raising awareness, I am surprised you would think that's the way to get your point across.

I have understood every point you've raised. The fact that I disagree with your methods, or perhaps some of your message, doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding and rejecting it.

I can be both male and intelligent ... I can also be both in disagreement with you and intelligent. You'll just have to take my word for it, if you disagree with that.

 

[DumbPaladin]

I have 34 years of male experiences, but that doesn't change the fact that what Oryan77 said was a) wrong and b) objectionable.

And he was warned not to do so by a moderator. And really, on an online forum, that should be enough. This thread no longer has anything to do with what it originally started out as.

There's not a time when it's accurate and appropriate to call someone "b____," ... We can discuss why if you like.

I do not like. It has nothing to do with anything D&D-related.

So let's not and say we did.

 

[pawsplay]

No, I'm actually saying that I refuse to play the "my woes are worse than your woes" game. It's ridiculous. For someone who is so concerned with raising awareness, I am surprised you would think that's the way to get your point across.

I'm not quite sure what you're reading into what I wrote.

I have understood every point you've raised. The fact that I disagree with your methods, or perhaps some of your message, doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding and rejecting it.

I am sure are capable of understanding.

I can be both male and intelligent ... I can also be both in disagreement with you and intelligent. You'll just have to take my word for it, if you disagree with that.

I can also be male and intelligent.