DrunkonDuty
he/him
I need closure on this anecdote.
How to stop player whining? Drama!
- Thread starter Doctor DM
- Start date
Right thats it!
I'm grabbing a beautiful young actress and climbing up the empire state build, right now.
Don't try and stop me.
What ever you do don't attack me with planes......
TarionzCousin
Second Most Angelic Devil Ever
Update!
Another player and I sat down and talked with him over some wings.
We asked what the deal was last time we played, and if everything was cool, what can we do to fix the problem.
Basically he didn't think he was complaining, and his feelings were hurt that I said he was. He's used to playing games with very cut and dry rules, like Warhammer and Magic: The Gathering, and he's not used to some of the foggy rules in this RPG. (It's about 80% 3.5 D&D and 20% home brew rules.) So he says he's not trying to complain, he's just trying to understand how these things happen. He also feels like his character gets screwed over a lot.
So basically, the last time we played, he had his big fit of silence because he was mad at me for saying he complained. I told him sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but you do tend to make a bid deal out of things. It's really not the end of the world, but it is a little annoying. I guess "arguing" is a better word than complaining. (trying to be diplomatic).
We told him to just relax more and not worry so much about bad things that happen to him, and just have fun. We also said that if he pulls that silent temper tantrum again, we didn't want to play anymore. It's a GAME. It's not a big deal, we all just want to have a good time.
He seemed to take everything ok. We're taking this week off (we play 3 out of 4 weeks), but I'll let you guys know how he is over the next few sessions.
Thanks again for the advice.
Another player and I sat down and talked with him over some wings.
We asked what the deal was last time we played, and if everything was cool, what can we do to fix the problem.
Basically he didn't think he was complaining, and his feelings were hurt that I said he was. He's used to playing games with very cut and dry rules, like Warhammer and Magic: The Gathering, and he's not used to some of the foggy rules in this RPG. (It's about 80% 3.5 D&D and 20% home brew rules.) So he says he's not trying to complain, he's just trying to understand how these things happen. He also feels like his character gets screwed over a lot.
So basically, the last time we played, he had his big fit of silence because he was mad at me for saying he complained. I told him sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but you do tend to make a bid deal out of things. It's really not the end of the world, but it is a little annoying. I guess "arguing" is a better word than complaining. (trying to be diplomatic).
We told him to just relax more and not worry so much about bad things that happen to him, and just have fun. We also said that if he pulls that silent temper tantrum again, we didn't want to play anymore. It's a GAME. It's not a big deal, we all just want to have a good time.
He seemed to take everything ok. We're taking this week off (we play 3 out of 4 weeks), but I'll let you guys know how he is over the next few sessions.
Thanks again for the advice.
DumbPaladin
First Post
Sounds like you said what you needed to, made it clear the behavior cannot continue, and didn't back down TOO much from letting him claim his behavior was appropriate or acceptable.
I really do hope, for your entire group's sake, he heeds the DM's advice and does not continue down this road, because the end result -- his leaving the group -- is clear.
I really do hope, for your entire group's sake, he heeds the DM's advice and does not continue down this road, because the end result -- his leaving the group -- is clear.
A
amerigoV
Guest
Hmmm, well I have bone to pick with you too that can only be mullified with wings...
Sounds like you took the good advice from the thread (vs some of those ideas....). You should also let him know that it is the DM's job to screw over your character. In return, it is the player's job not to complain but to derail the DM's plot. Thus, fun and equalibrium are attained.
It sounds like a happy ending is near. Good luck!
To me, when the player says they're used to more rigid rules like Magic or WarHammer, it's a sign that they just aren't connecting the dots.
In both magic or Warhammer, you are basically playing the commander in a battle. With no detail or input on how you got there or resource gathering (painting your minis and building X many points of army isn't the same as what really happens before a battle begins).
In an RPG, you're involved in a multitude of activities that lead up to the initiative roll.
That is inherently fuzzy stuff for which there are not tables and rules for everything. Stuff happens because the DM says so. Stuff is where stuff is because the DM says so.
Ideally, the DM says so because it will be challenging, interesting, and makes sense within the context of the game world.
it all comes down to the pretense that there are rules, when in reality there aren't. Sure the DM may be running combats 'by the rules", but that doesn't take away his control on when fires happen, what adventure opportunities there are, how nice NPCs are, etc..
In both magic or Warhammer, you are basically playing the commander in a battle. With no detail or input on how you got there or resource gathering (painting your minis and building X many points of army isn't the same as what really happens before a battle begins).
In an RPG, you're involved in a multitude of activities that lead up to the initiative roll.
That is inherently fuzzy stuff for which there are not tables and rules for everything. Stuff happens because the DM says so. Stuff is where stuff is because the DM says so.
Ideally, the DM says so because it will be challenging, interesting, and makes sense within the context of the game world.
it all comes down to the pretense that there are rules, when in reality there aren't. Sure the DM may be running combats 'by the rules", but that doesn't take away his control on when fires happen, what adventure opportunities there are, how nice NPCs are, etc..
Oryan77
Adventurer
Him saying that is kind of a big deal and a bad sign. All the stuff about being unsure about how the rules work sounds like a big excuse to me. The fact that he followed it up by saying that his PC gets "screwed" sort of proves it as far as I'm concerned. But from what you say, it sounds like he's the type of guy that really listens when being criticized. So hopefully he'll remember the advice and not whine anymore. Cause I'm sure he feels pretty silly about it now that you guys pointed it out to him.
A lot of people can't handle bad things happening to their PC though. I see them whine about it all the time on RPG forums.
I've had players tell me they'll make a new PC if their character ever lost all of his equipment. I've seen a player willing to let her PC die just because she thought she was about to lose some stupid locked gauntlets (she wasn't even going to lose them). I've seen players give up a character just because it was physically altered and would require some effort to get back to normal.
I just think it's hilarious when people say things like, "my PC gets screwed". That's part of the game. The challenge is to try and not get screwed, duh. That's why it's a "game". It's like whining every time you lose a piece in checkers. I don't get why people act like that about D&D. And most of the time it's over some piddly thing that won't have any long term or serious effect, like getting stunned for 4 rounds or something. Oh no, that's really "getting screwed". Players like that don't know the meaning of getting screwed. I'd hate to see how they'd act if they dealt with some of the BS my characters went through.
I actually enjoy when my PCs get screwed. First of all, if it's a royal screw up, then my PC has some good stories to tell later on. Second of all, it gives me something more personal & creative to do that focuses on my character. And third of all, it's another challenge that I get to try and overcome. It sucks to get screwed, but then it's still fun trying to get out of the situation.
Similar Threads
