Players that dont fit in a group

[Hector_mayagoitia]

My group have a problem with one of my players, and i need your advice because i don't know how to react to this situation. I think this is an age problem. My group consist of mainly 20 somethings and the younger brother of one of them (12 or 13 yo).

He enjoys the game and is even more reliable than the rest of the players but each of his turns the game comes to a halt because his older brothers corrects him or tells him what to do, the others see him as his brothers second character, and everytime he speaks everyone ignore him, or the mood is lost because of the akward silence.

I don't want to kick him out because he really enjoys the game, he wants to learn and play better so he can DM a group of his own, but the other players already asked me to kick him out.

The problem is even if i try and kick him out the kind way its going to be very harsh, we may be the only gaming group in the city.

I really need your advice, sorry about the bad english.

 

[the Jester]

He enjoys the game and is even more reliable than the rest of the players but each of his turns the game comes to a halt because his older brothers corrects him or tells him what to do, the others see him as his brothers second character, and everytime he speaks everyone ignore him, or the mood is lost because of the akward silence.

The problem, from what little you have described, sounds like it's more the older brother than the young guy. I'd tell him to knock it off and cut him off when he tries to tell his brother what to do- it isn't his character, and it isn't his choice what the character should do.

 

[Raven Crowking]

+1 to what the Jester said.

If the older player persists, treat it as in-character talk. I.e., the older brother's character shouting instructions at the other character -- and have the opponents react accordingly.

In addition, once the younger player has stated his action, it is started, regardless of what the older brother says.

Make sure that it is clear to all what you are doing.

Finally, this is a group problem. If the older player doesn't mend his ways when you talk to him alone, and instituting these measures doesn't help, ask the entire group what should be done....when the older player is present.


RC

 

[Hector_mayagoitia]

The problem, from what little you have described, sounds like it's more the older brother than the young guy. I'd tell him to knock it off and cut him off when he tries to tell his brother what to do- it isn't his character, and it isn't his choice what the character should do.

His brother ordering him around IS a problem but the one time the older brother couldn't go to a game another player took his place making decisions for the young guy.

I think everybody just cant see him as an equal.

 

[Raven Crowking]

If you can, you may wish to run some solo D&D for the younger brother, thus forcing him to make his own decisions.

After the other players make their "suggestions", you can turn to the younger player and say, "Okay, you can do anything but what these guys said. What do you want to do?" (IME, this is really effective, really quickly.)

You can also choose to give the other players XP penalties for behaviour you wish to discourage. And/or have NPC allies comment unfavourably on their uncouth bossiness.

If this is a whole group problem, though, probably the best thing you can do is, at the start of the next session, say "Guys, this is a problem. Younger brother isn't going anywhere; he's welcome at any game I run. Everyone telling him how to run his character is much less welcome. How are we going to solve this?"


RC

 

[greatamericanfolkher]

His brother ordering him around IS a problem but the one time the older brother couldn't go to a game another player took his place making decisions for the young guy.

I think everybody just cant see him as an equal.

Would your group respond to a discussion about this? It may be as simple as asking them to stop treating him like emergency rations.

 

[pawsplay]

Kick everyone else out, keep the kid. He's decent, reliable, and social.

 

[Swedish Chef]

I had a similar problem with an adult member of my group and his teenaged son.

I talked to him out of game and requested he let his son make his own decisions and mistakes. It is the only way he'll learn.

In game, if the idea was truly silly, I corrected the boy gently. If the father stepped in, I would try and stop him, or if the advice was sound, let him explain it.

It took time, but the group has accepted him, and everyone works well. He still makes mistakes, but at least everyone listens first and responds after hearing what he has to say.

 

[the Jester]

His brother ordering him around IS a problem but the one time the older brother couldn't go to a game another player took his place making decisions for the young guy.

That still doesn't make the young guy the problem here, it just means that you need to talk to the group and tell them all to let him make his own decisions.

 

[OnlineDM]

One other technique I've seen when one (or more than one) player is dictating the actions of another is to rule that any time you want to suggest of course of action to another player, you have to do it in-character. It's harder for someone to backseat drive when they have to do it in a way that their character can actually do, especially if their character isn't next to the "controlled" character and doesn't know all of the capabilities of the other PC.