Coaxing the new player to the table

[SnowleopardVK]

I've dealt with actually teaching rules to new players several times now, and gotten several people into the game, but have encountered something new. In those previous incidents either the new player approached me and asked to be taught to play, or I'd say to them "hey I think you might enjoy D&D, want to try it out sometime?" And that was it.

Now I've found a potential player who is sort of halfway between those two situations... And stuck there.

She's a girl in my science fiction literature class, and has commented once to me and one other friend that she's always wanted to try tabletop RPGs. My other friend immediately invited her into her World of Darkness LARP, but she declined, saying that she was hoping to do something more tabletop than LARP, and more D&D than WoD. D&D being my thing of the two of us, it was my turn to extend the invitation.

She was happy for the opportunity, but has been frustratingly reluctant to actually take that opportunity. She's outright admitted that she keeps backing out because of the nervousness of being a newbie, but I know her well enough from class (our Scifi class has very awesome and geeky discussions which she participates enthusiastically and intelligently in) to be almost certain that she'd do great in a tabletop environment. I need to figure out some way to give her that little push, just enough to convince her to show up, and I think from there the game will do most of the rest of the work.

If I try too hard, she gets scared off, if I hold back she can't seem to work up the courage herself. Any suggestions?

 

[malcolypse]

Dread.

Write up a sci fi or d&d game, since she's interested in those things.

No system to get in the way of teaching her to roleplay, and the tower will distract her from her nervousness and turn it into, well, dread.

You could also try kidnapping her, but I'm not sure how that kind of thing flies, up north.

 

[MichaelSomething]

One option would be to do a one shot with her in the group playing a system none of you have tried before. That way, everyone is a newbie!

 

[Ringlerun]

I would do a one on one game for her. She will get an understanding of character gen and game play. From there she can decide if she wants to join the group or not.

 

[S'mon]

I would do a one on one game for her. She will get an understanding of character gen and game play. From there she can decide if she wants to join the group or not.

Could work, but make it very short, a 1-hour teaser for her new PC. Solo play is actually tougher than group due to the constant spotlight.

 

[Izumi]

Are you certain that the reluctance isn't a polite refusal in order to disguise a lack of genuine interest?

 

[saskganesh]

You can't make her. She may have a million credible reasons why she can't play with you.

Just have an open invite, tell her it's a great and fun time and leave it up to her.

 

[Twichyboy]

Have you tried a trail of candy? A trail of skittles would work 100% of the time on me


Or just leave the option open to her as saskganesh said so she doesn't feel pressured

 

[Quickleaf]

She was happy for the opportunity, but has been frustratingly reluctant to actually take that opportunity. She's outright admitted that she keeps backing out because of the nervousness of being a newbie, but I know her well enough from class (our Scifi class has very awesome and geeky discussions which she participates enthusiastically and intelligently in) to be almost certain that she'd do great in a tabletop environment. I need to figure out some way to give her that little push, just enough to convince her to show up, and I think from there the game will do most of the rest of the work.

If I try too hard, she gets scared off, if I hold back she can't seem to work up the courage herself. Any suggestions?

Hey, why not invite her over for a potluck with some gamer friends? Not a gaming session per se, but certainly a fertile grounds for all sorts of geek-ery.

I do like the idea of having a quick-play RPG like Dread handy should *someone* propose a game.

 

[Oryan77]

Will she fit in with the other players if she did join the group?

Not that you shouldn't still try to bring her in, but I made the mistake of inviting a guy I attended night classes with over to a D&D session with players that even I was hesitant to game with.

He's a normal kind of guy and I thought he might like D&D (he was genuinely interested). But after the first get together, he didn't want to come back. I realized that the reason was because one of the players at the time was a little off putting and I think he thought, "Yep, D&D players are weird." I was trying to be tolerant and patient with her which is why she was still around. What I should have done was not invited her and this guy probably would have had a blast and stuck around. I just wasn't thinking about compatibility issues at the time and I think it scared him away from D&D for good. He rolled up some of the best ability scores I'd seen too, what a shame.

He continued to sit next to me in class and socialized with me as normal. So I'd like to think I wasn't the one that scared him away that day.